Mental Graffiti: Poetry by Britteney Blackrose Kapri

July 21, 2010

(Photo: Achy Obejas)

Tongue Lashing
by Britteney Blackrose Kapri

little boys think that answers
are found in their tongues
that palate cleansing means searching for new ones

I wonder what brings him back
his taste buds longing the condensed insides of my jaws

he stumbles rosy pillows ‘cross my stomach
my breast
my lips
now invaded with a mouthful of myself
we gum smacking
cheek chewing,
choking on an amuse bouche of his saliva

he uses his mouth to decipher who I am
questioning my body with answers
back into me
commanding me to say yes, yes
as if Oh God, Oh God wasn’t convincing enough

he thinks this makes him a man

role play
I’m no longer his partner
but his puppet
being mastered for his pleasure
I scream whatever he wants to hear
a ventriloquist, fuck me, fuck me
never if you leave me alone, I’ll suck your dick

I’ve learned that relationships are give and take
taking away his sense of masculinity
isn’t worth him not ever giving me an orgasm

I’ve white flagged any hopes for satisfaction
but him,
he’ll big bang, season finale,
make this into something more than what it is
he’s in the business of creating illusions
like that he put it on me
yeah right

I’m no longer his partner
but an extension of himself
words he’s too embarrassed to yell
the sounds his balls have stopped him from forming
the woman he hasn’t learned to be yet

little boys always think answers
are found in their tongues
I wonder how long it takes them to realize
that they really are in ours