The three types of exercise-class people: Which one are you?

November 21, 2011

The Show-Off
The Show-Off thinks she’s better than everyone, including the instructor. She obviously thinks she should be leading the class, but probably doesn’t want to get down in the dirt by teaching all the common people how to do the moves that they probably wouldn’t understand anyway. The Show-Off adds in the extra moves before the instructor shows them to anybody else and sometimes adds in extra moves of her own because the workout as-is just isnt enough for her. The Show-Off, when possible, will execute all moves while holding a ten pound dumbbell over her head. The Show-Off is frequently in front of you, blocking your view of the instructor and yourself. 

The Poor Bastard
The Poor Bastard is the opposite of the Show-Off. The Poor Bastard can never seem to get it together: even if it’s something as simple as marching in place, she’s off beat and frequently will just fall over from the strain of having to do something in time. The Poor Bastard is simultaneous hilarious, pitiable and annoying as you think “Really? Is it that hard? Right left right left. Come on, you can do this!” Sometimes the Poor Bastard makes you wonder if she’s somehow doing it on purpose, like to make a point about conformity, but you doubt that. It's admirable that the Poor Bastard sticks through the entire class.

The Perfect Blend
The Perfect Blend is me, and if you’re like me, congratulations. The Perfect Blend knows 90% of the moves and is in rhythm with everyone else most of the time. However the Perfect Blend is human, and sometimes will fall out of step on a complicated move, but that’s okay: that’s what makes the Perfect Blend so relatable. The Perfect Blend will try to use a heavy weight when possible but isn’t trying to set any records or anything, okay? The Perfect Blend will linger towards the back of class so as to remain inconspicuous. The Perfect Blend is not some flailing clown, yet is relatable and down-to-earth. That's why it's best to be the Perfect Blend.

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