Speculating why these J.Crew items are on sale

January 24, 2012

This is pretty, in theory, but it also looks like a pillowcase, or rather, a swimsuit by Laura Ashley. Add the fact that white is a difficult color for many women to pull off in terms of swimwear and it’s unsurprising that many women passed this item up. 

Watch any episode of What Not to Wear and you’ll see, hammered home again and again: NO PLEATED PANTS. Pleated pants are every woman’s enemy, unless you’re one of those types who is so thin you can afford to wear purposefully unflattering clothes just to demonstrate how skinny you are (“I’m so thin I can wear pleated pants and not look awful!”) These are described as “liberally pleated” which means “liberally marked-down.” 

Let’s face it, the vast majority of women can’t pull these off, with myself taking up spots #1-#5 on that list. If you can rock these, good for you: now you can pick up several pairs at $5 each. 

Nobody wants to look like a horse--even a warm horse. 

Leather shorts! For when you want to look like you have a plastic bag cinched around your waist, sweat dripping down your thighs for all to see. 

This is one of those items that I think would be really fun to try on and twirl around in. It’s lovely, in theory. But look at the beautiful model they have wearing it. See the look on her face? That’s what she thinks of how the professionals at J.Crew suggest styling this skirt. This skirt is also from the weddings collection, and just from a bridal standpoint, I think a lot of soon-to-be-brides would be turned off by the idea of shopping for a “wedding top.” Or “wedding t-shirt.” 


Leather sweatpants with the words “goat” and “slouch” in the name. What could make a lady feel more elegant? Paying $800 for them, perchance?