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Ever since I started writing about the killing of Jeremiah Sterling, my friend Brendan Shiller has been pushing back, telling me that my because I focus so much on the actual violence and loss, I’m contributing to the impression that violence is greater now, when in fact the murder rate in Chicago is at a 45 year low.

A criminal lawyer with his own practice and a longtime community activist, Brendan knows what he’s talking about. And I don’t really argue his point. My contention is that violence is still too high, and that African-American males are disproportionate victims (I know he doesn’t argue this point either).

But I also know there’s something to his concern about giving the wrong impression.

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By the time this goes up on the site, I’ll be speeding from Iowa back to Chicago, where we’ll take the briefest breather and then fly south to Miami. It is what my wife is calling our new holiday arrangement: Christmas with her family, New Year’s with mine. It is entirely her idea.

In truth, only the latter part is new. This has been my third year in Iowa, happily lazing around in bed during snowy days, eating and watching TV, giving and (mostly) receiving presents, and enjoying plenty of holiday libations. This year we had an addition: a new niece, a little bit of heaven, quite literally dropped in our laps.

So the experiment starts tomorrow, in Miami. My wife’s presence won’t be the shocker so much as mine. It’s been years since I’ve spent the holidays with family. To be honest, I couldn’t even say when I was last in Miami in December; I visit, yes, but not for the holidays.

To explain why requires more than a blog post, and while a lot of it would be very funny, a lot wouldn’t. It’s the stuff of novels, really – of revolution and dislocation and … well, frankly, of dysfunction. There is no lack of love in my family; indeed, I would say we love with great passion.

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Sometime tonight, Jeremiah Sterling’s mother, sister and a group of close friends will get together to celebrate what would have been his 17th birthday.

A young man with a beautiful smile and, by all accounts, a joker, a charmer and something of a star in the world of footworking, Jeremiah was shot dead just a couple of blocks from home on July 15th.

I’ve been following his story since a few days after his death, but today I just wanted to take a moment to think about what might have been.

Happy Birthday, Miah.

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On Saturday, Congress got rid of the odious Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy which banned queer folks from serving in the military. Illinois’s junior senator, Republican Mark Kirk, ended up voting for its repeal, as some suspected and many hoped.

The final vote was 65-31 with a handful of others GOPers crossing the line. 

“When a soldier answers the call to serve and risks life or limb, it has never mattered to me whether they are gay or straight,” Sen. Scott Brown of Massachussets, one of the Republicans supporting repeal said. “My only concern has been whether their service and sacrifice is with pride and honor.”

There were lovely words too from other senators, GOPers included, about the bravery of gay soldiers, or the need to do the right thing for equality.

But not so from Mark Kirk.

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Lordy, anything could happen with the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, the bill with nine lives.Right now, the damn thing depends entirely on Dem majority leader Harry Reid in the Senate, who has not yet committed to take an actual vote.

Yes, Reid’s for repeal; yes, he forced an important vote last week to get a head count; and, yes, the House passed a stand alone bill yesterday with a vote of 250 to 174, adding 15 new Republicans yeas who may have seen the writing on the wall and would rather be on the right side of history.

“It is never too late to do the right thing,” Dem House leader Steny Hoyer encouraged his colleagues.

Judy Biggert (pictured, above) was the sole Illinois Republican representative to hear his call and vote yes.

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Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, as I suggested on Nov.10, is unlikely to pass this session. And even though Democrats have re-introduced it in the House as a stand alone bill for a vote this week, it's chances in the Senate remain slim.

It’s not for lack of trying: I confess that just the fact that Senate Majority leader Harry Reid called the defense authorization bill for a vote last week with the DADT amendment intact exceeded my expectations.

But as we saw, the bill died in spite of promises from Republican senators to vote for it. Maine’s Susan Collins went along only after she was assured the bill would not pass. And Alaska’s Lisa Murkowski, who released a strong statement in support of repeal, got bogged down in timing technicalities. Even Massachusetts’ Scott Brown, who actually needs to vote for repeal— regardless of outcome—fell victim to the technicalities.

Sure, there are plenty of Dem senators who have stepped up to submit a stand alone bill.

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The senate cloture vote on the defense authorization bill went down this afternoon, 57 to 40, largely along party lines, most likely killing any hope of passing repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell in this session, and probably for years, given the incoming Republican majority in the House of Representatives.

Kate Dickens, spokesperson for Illinois Sen. Mark Kirk, was quick to point out that the vote itself was not “against DADT, it is a procedural vote to consider the defense authorization bill.”

Although Kirk was one of the GOP votes that DADT supporters were hoping for, he clarified his position just before the cloture vote.

“The Senate’s top priority should be to prevent a large tax increase from hitting families and small business employers on January 1st,” Kirk said. “I promised the people of Illinois that job one would be jobs. I support the president’s proposal and will vote today to ensure the bipartisan tax bill takes precedence before considering non-economic legislation, including items I support like the 9/11 victims health bill.”

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