Local blogger finds fake science better than the real thing

Phil Edwards of fakescience.tumblr.com gives a lesson on Morning Shift

September 28, 2012

Ukrainian Village resident Phil Edwards might not know a lot about biology, physics or chemistry, but when it comes to fake science, he’s an undisputed leader. After two years of honing his craft on his Fake Science Tumblr, he’s got a textbook full of scientific falsehoods.

Here are some excerpts from Fake Science 101: A Less-Than-Factual Guide to Our Amazing World:

On the history of science:

Though it’s impossible to know exactly when science began, it’s worth making a wild guess. Science began millions of years ago when the first cave men developed language…They spent most of their time complaining about the weather and wishing they weren’t so dumb. During idle moments, however, they began to ponder the mysteries of the earth.

On Unified Field Theory:

Until the creation of this seminal idea, people played kickball and baseball on completely different fields.

On the “Big Bang” theory:

The big bang explains the explosion of the universe, and it’s believed that if any people were around during it, their ears were seriously damaged. It’s theorized that, from that point on, the universe kept expanding because it didn’t know what else to do. But don’t mention it, since it’s kind of sensitive about its size.

On dolphin intelligence:

Though some consider them as intelligent as humans, dolphins don’t even have color television.