List: Tips sent back in time to my younger self

August 14, 2012

Once you’ve read any one issue of any one women’s magazine, you’ve basically read them all. They are just trying to sell you stuff, usually by making you feel bad about yourself. You are really not expected to look like anyone in them.


Stay three feet away from the bathroom mirror at all times.

Some people will just never like you and you will never know why. Don’t waste your time thinking about how to get justice or understand and instead focus on the people who are your friends.

Try to avoid binge eating, if not for the weight gain and the sadness, for your system’s sake. You know what I’m talking about.

Not all your friends, even your current favorite ones, will be your friends for the long haul. Sometimes this sucks but you’ll survive.

Try to think about three seconds more before you speak. You’ll still say some dumb stuff but maybe not quite as much.

Jerks are jerks and not projects for you to work on. Leave them alone.

Read anything you care about aloud before you send it.

If a real life person is speaking to you in the room, turn away from the phone or computer if you want to significantly reduce your chances of people being annoyed by you. This tip applies to current Claire, too.

Don’t order clothes online or from catalogs. You will waste a lot more money and time than you will derive pleasure from receiving packages in the mail.

Try not to worry too much about whether people are saying bad things about you. Knowing they are hurts more than suspecting they are.

Never buy clothes that you can’t fit into now. By the time you fit into them you might not like them anymore.

Material envy is a waste of time. Professional jealousy is not much better, but it’s not as bad if put to good use.