List: Reasons I am qualified to serve as an NFL replacement ref

September 25, 2012

 

I look good in both black and white.

I have experience speaking into a microphone.

I am not afraid of whistles.

I’m not averse to being on television.

$149,000 per year sounds pretty good to me.

I am used to criticism.

Being near professional athletes seems fun.

I have other places to be so the game won’t drag on for too long.

I’m not afraid to make a tough call, or even a wrong call, because it’s not really my job.

I am blind and on drugs.

I don’t care for the Packers.