In the privacy of my own home, I find my baby quite adorable. However, I know this point of view doesn’t lend itself to a lot of entertainment value or street cred on the Internet. Of course the baby is cute. Every parent thinks his or her baby is cute. Big deal.
That’s why, when possible, I so enjoy sharing unflattering pictures of the baby. Ugly baby shots are amusing because, like unflattering dog pictures, you don’t really think of babies or dogs having good angles, and it’s strangely hilarious to see bad photos of a being that would seemingly have no ego, something whose innocence you’d would think constantly would shine through.
Ugly pictures of cute babies
Oct. 10, 2012My 'Steel Magnolias' dream team
Oct. 8, 2012
Now that there are two versions of the film Steel Magnolias, which cast members would make for the most supreme take on the story of the bond between a group of strong Louisiana women? Let’s pit the old vs. new actors against each other!
M’Lynn Eatenton: Sally Field vs. Queen Latifah
Winner: Sally Field. This is not due to a deficiency in Latifah’s acting, but due to casting in general. I think she’s a little too young to be believable as the no-nonsense matriarch of a large family; plus the role could have benefitted from an actress who had more chemistry with her daughter (see below). Then again, Sally Field’s performance can be a bit cringe-inducing (“I want to know WHHYYYY!!!”) while Queen Latifah’s is not.
Truvy Jones: Dolly Parton vs. Jill Scott
Getting through those first few weeks with baby
Oct. 4, 2012A few weeks ago I wrote a thing about how my husband and I were yelling at our infant son out of frustration and exhaustion. And wouldn’t you know, after I published that piece calling him out for being a pain in the neck, he straightened up (somewhat). As much as I’d like to think that we scared him into being a better baby, however, it may just be time.
So if you’re a person who is doing the yelling-at-the-baby-thing right now, all I can say is that it gets better. That doesn’t make it any easier in the moment, because the moment can really suck, but it does happen. Once we hit that six week mark, the baby started sleeping a bit more predictably, opening his eyes more during daylight hours, at least doing a decent impression of a smile and just being a bit more like a human baby and not a screaming ol’ blob (describing a newborn baby as a “blob” may be the best thing that Angelina Jolie ever did, in my opinion).
Should I back down on my promise to boycott the Chicago Bears?
Oct. 3, 2012
Have you ever taken a stand on something and then wished maybe you hadn’t done so in a public manner so that you could quietly go back on your word? Because this is me right now, with the Bears. I feel like I just told the world I am giving up chocolate for Lent and the planet’s most delicious brownie is sitting in front of me and Easter is still a month away.
I’m having second thoughts about my plan to boycott the Chicago Bears this season, stemming from my issues with Brandon Marshall’s off-field behavior. I have been good so far: I haven’t tuned into a minute of a single Bears game, not on TV, not on 780-AM (I miss you, Jeff Joniak! You and your Wheaten Terrier), not on real-time Internet scoreboards.
But I’m starting to weaken. And here’s why.
Five items that lose their value once they touch the sidewalk
Oct. 2, 2012
Inspired by something I saw outside my house yesterday. . .
underwear
mattresses
pizza
synthetic hair*
balloons
*If you need some, though, there is a bunch of it on the corner of Kenmore and Berwyn.
The Steve Edwards Interview
Sep. 28, 2012
I was very sad to learn that today's interviewee would be leaving WBEZ. Steve Edwards was the first person to ever interview me at the station. His good nature and professionalism made me, and I'm sure many others, feel comfortable on-air. After over a dozen years with the station and a stint as the host of The Afternoon Shift, last week Edwards took his leave to work at the University of Chicago's new Institute of Politics.
Edwards’ reports and interviews have been honored by the Society of Professional Journalists, the Chicago Headline Club, the RTNDA, the Associated Press, UPI and Public Radio News Directors, Inc., and he earned a National Headliner Club's Grand Award for radio.
I got a little help from Steve's former colleagues, who will miss him, for some of the "deep cut" questions.
Your new job sounds very professional but a little confusing to the sleep-deprived. What will you be doing there, in layman’s terms?
Some Honey Boo Boo-related confessions
Sep. 26, 2012Forgive me pop culture father, for I have sinned. Mortally.
Confession 1:
I DVR and watch “Toddlers and Tiaras.” I realize that this probably puts me on some sort of creepazoid list.
“T&T” hits a few of my guilty pleasure sweet spots, however: children behaving badly (for some reason whenever I’m out and hear a child throwing a tantrum, I am filled with the desire to go see what the kid looks like. It’s like wanting to see if the person who cut you off in traffic looks as dumb as they are) and grown women behaving badly (hence why I also like “Bridezillas.”)
Most often it’s the mothers who behave badly on “T&T,” or at least are the reason why their children do so. MacKenzie is one of the breakout stars of “T&T” because of her strange blend of brattiness and odd maturity, but if you watch the show regularly, her terrible behavior is obviously a result of her indulgent, somewhat spineless mother. Other times the mothers are clearly trying to live their glory days through their reluctant children, which is truly unfortunate.
List: Reasons I am qualified to serve as an NFL replacement ref
Sep. 25, 2012
I look good in both black and white.
I have experience speaking into a microphone.
I am not afraid of whistles.
I’m not averse to being on television.
$149,000 per year sounds pretty good to me.
I am used to criticism.
Being near professional athletes seems fun.
I have other places to be so the game won’t drag on for too long.
I’m not afraid to make a tough call, or even a wrong call, because it’s not really my job.
I am blind and on drugs.
I don’t care for the Packers.