B.) No one can believe that a mess such as yourself managed to get knocked up (except for the fact that everyone knows how babies are made). It seems impossible that you’re going to give up drinking, smoking and cold cuts for nine whole months, plus you’re contractually obligated to be TV gold without these props. Pregnancy/babies as entertainment? You’ll figure it out. You’re probably going to be a great mom and surprise everyone, including yourself.
C.) You look great while being pregnant and hope that your fiancee will stick around this time and also have a good season.
WORTH IT (EXCEPT I DIDN’T REALLY WAIT): KUMA'S CORNER
I’ve found that falling asleep at 9 p.m. in front of Law & Order reruns can leave you feeling refreshed the next day.
Have you tried shaved parmesan instead of shredded? It’s easier to pick up with your fingers and eat straight from the container.
When my friends and I get together at restaurants we like to order a bunch of different appetizers and share them.
Pooping can be so great. You can usually achieve this by exercising and eating a lot of vegetables, but when in doubt, try a cigarette, a cup of coffee and thinking about something that makes you anxious.
Dumping out your purse and throwing away the used kleenexes and crumpled up receipts is a great way to “spring clean.”
Putting nuts on salads is a nice way of making them a little more fancy.
When you go on vacation, sometimes the hotel will give you a little tube of toothpaste if you forgot to pack one. If not, maybe there is a CVS nearby.
Dark chocolate is good but milk chocolate is also good.
Today’s interviewee is award-winning comedian and author of Agorafabulous! Dispatches from My Bedroom, a humorous memoir based on her critically acclaimed solo show about panic attacks and agoraphobia.
Sara’s television appearances include NBC's Today Show, the CBS Early Show, CNN's Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer, MTV News, and CUNY-TV’s Brian Lehrer Live. During the 2008 election, she created a splash with her original Sarah Palin vlogs on Huffington Post's humor site, 23/6, a series for which she won an ECNY Award and was nominated for a Webby for best performance, alongside Isabella Rosellini.
From 2006-2008, she hosted Nerve.com’s hit Tub Talk with Sara B., a notorious web-based talk show in which she interviewed comedians and humor writers in her bathtub.
We never thought we were the type of people who would do this, but here we are. Plenty of other people, including close friends, had taken this plunge, but my husband and I just assumed we’d be those types who could live their lives without going on that particular adventure. We’d even told ourselves that they’re obnoxious, attention-seeking little things that age poorly and prove to be tedious down the line. We’d basically said they were a bad choice.
But the fact of the matter is that we weren’t actually capable of doing it, which is why, I think, we talked ourselves out of it. For years we tried and tried, but nothing came of our efforts. We tried “relaxing.” We tried supplements. But still: nothing.
Until recently. It’s very, very early, but I’m too excited not to share the good news with you. I guess we’re going to have to eat our words and just become one of “those couples,” but I’m pleased to announce that apparently, my husband is able to grow a mustache.
Last weekend I had the pleasure of attending my first White Sox spring training game (the experience was greatly enhanced by the fact that the Sox shut out the Mariners 5-0). Here are my observations on how spring training is different from South Side baseball:
The walk to the stadium from the parking lot is more beautiful than it is in Chicago. After parking at Camelback Ranch, you follow a path through some beautifully maintained grounds and around a few reservoirs (which seem perfect for drunk fan shenanigans). The walk feels more magical and full of anticipation than dodging cars does as you head from the lots to U.S. Cellular Field.
As a sports fan, I know it takes a fair amount of blinkering to admire your athletic heroes. To paraphrase Charles Barkley (of whom I am fond), athletes shouldn't be considered role models.
But the Chicago Bears have really brought me down today with the announcement that they were "aware" of a recent incident where their newest acquisition, wide receiver Brandon Marshall, allegedly punched a woman in the face outside a New York club. Marshall has also been arrested twice for suspicion of domestic violence and was involved in a fight at a Denver night club that eventually sparked a shooting that killed former Denver Broncos teammate Darrent Williams.
Bears GM Phil Emery, when announcing the acquisition of Marshall, said “When you’re looking at players, you’re looking at...their character, their work ethic, passion, reliability, accountability, the type of people they are to the community."
If allegations against Marshall are true, I don't think they really looked too hard.