For him:
For her:
For the kids:
The world's most practical gift guide
Dec. 22, 2011Lauren Fitz had 30 seconds of fame when FOX asked her about Santa
Dec. 21, 2011Many of you may heard about the latest salvo fired in the War on Christmas, this time by FOX Chicago's own Robin Robinson. (I won't repeat what she said, but if for some reason you read this blog with your tiny child, perhaps you should skip today's post.)
I'm proud to say that my lovely cousin, Lauren Fritz, got not one but two opportunities to share her thoughts on the matter when Ms. Robinson asked her opinion while out in the field. As you can tell from the first clip (at 2:01), Lauren was obviously very familiar with the subject matter at hand, was prepared to talk about it and had very strong opinons on the topic. WFLD's editors recognized a firebrand when they saw one, used that incredibly valuable clip and then included a follow-up from Lauren at 2:34.
List: Famous people I have met or encountered in public
Dec. 20, 2011Dave Matthews (didn’t speak but stood near him at Borders)
Jon Stewart (chatted him up at airport)
David Sedaris (reading)
Dennis Farina (didn’t speak but acknowledged each other at film festival.)
Michael Jordan (autograph line)
Assorted White Sox players (autograph line)
Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York (stood next to her in a magazine shop at O’Hare)
Michelle Williams of Destiny's Child (at a charity party)
Elvis Costello (waited after concert)
Michael Penn (met after concert)
Julia Sweeney (met after reading)
Norm McDonald (helped organize standup show he did at my college)
Anderson Cooper (spoke to through earpiece while being interviewed)
Blagojevich (met on Capitol Hill while shooting something for Dateline NBC where I interned one summer).
Geraldo Rivera (Dateline)
Katie Couric (Dateline)
Ira Glass (had a brief exchange about whether the sandwiches at a WBEZ-hosted event were vegetarian)
Peter Sagal (backstage at a reading)
Ivanka Trump (waited on her at a restaurant)
Rande Gerber (chatted him up drunkenly after sneaking into the VIP section at a hotel party)
Michael Ian Black (met after a show)
John Hodgman (after a reading)
A cautionary tale: The Anthropologie sweater sale
Dec. 19, 2011The store Anthropologie does an excellent job of selling an image to its customers. If you shop at Anthropologie, you like to think of yourself as funky-urban, comfy-sophisticated, whimsically haute. You look like you like to shop at resale shops but in actuality you pay nicely for the privilege not to do so. You may also sleep in a king-sized bed in the woods. All this has been illustrated very well by the humor site Anthroparodie.
But the way Anthropologie gets you is that even though their clothes may seem ridiculous and/or overpriced, some of us keep coming back. Just in case that perfect little thing turns up--that interesting dress or skirt that everyone will compliment. You'll think "Dammit, Anthro! You've done it again. I guess I'll keep going to your store or ordering from the catalogue even though 19 times out of 20 the store will make me feel like a complete idiot." Because that's typically how the store works: whatever looks so delightful on the hanger or in the catalogue will often make you look too fat or too short or too boring to pull off. It feels like a personal failing, like you didn't make it into a special club. "I didn't want to belong to that club anyway," you say bitterly. Even though you keep applying.
I had a stroke of luck a few weeks ago when I ordered from the Anthropologie 50% sweater sale. "I like sweaters," I thought to myself, when I got the email about the sale.
The Julia Sweeney Interview
Dec. 16, 2011
I’m thrilled to be featuring today’s interviewee on the site. She’s a former Saturday Night Live cast member who in recent years has been known for her funny, touching autobiographical monologues like God Said Ha!, about her brother and her both battling cancer, and Letting Go of God, wherein she discusses her Catholic upbringing and eventual relinquishment of her faith (both monologues are available on DVD.) She’s currently presenting live essays on parenting in preparation for her upcoming book, tentatively titled If it’s Not One Thing, It’s Your Mother. Catch her this Saturday at Space in Evanston or later this month as she performs stories with musical interludes from Jill Sobule. You can read more of Julia here on her blog.
Introducing: Two Film T-Shirts
Dec. 14, 2011
I know you already know Steve Gadlin as the genius entrepreneur behind I Want to Draw a Cat for You and Don't Spit the Water! Well now he's back at it with an amazing new opportunity. I'm sure you're sick of being restricted to wearing a t-shirt with the title of only one of your favorite films in it. Well fret no more, because now you can get a shirt with TWO names on it! Why hasn't anybody thought of this sooner?
Please enjoy this beautiful commercial that illustrates Two Film T-Shirts perfectly (shot by my husband, Steve Delahoyde, may I boast) and order all your Two Film T-Shirts right now for everyone on your holiday shopping list! YOU ARE WELCOME!
P.S. Steve Gadlin will be at the next Funny Ha-Ha in case you want to shake his hand personally.
List: Listed occupations of the contestants on the upcoming season of 'The Bachelor'
Dec. 13, 2011
Labor and Delivery Nurse
Critical Care Nurse
Student
VIP Cocktail Waitress
Medical Sales Rep
Trading Clerk
Model
Nonprofit Director
Personal Trainer
PhD Student
Law Student
Pharmaceutical Sales Rep
Advertising Account Manager
Registered Nurse
Blogger
Accountant
Administrative Assistant
Business Development Manager
Internet Entrepreneur
Dental Consultant
Dental Hygienist
Fashion Sales Rep
Advertising Account Manager
The worst parents of 2011
Dec. 12, 2011Good morning. This is the rant I delivered at The Paper Machete this weekend.
Every Christmas Eve my parents perform an annual rite. After we’ve escaped the children’s Mass at church and enjoyed an extra-fancy dinner prepared by my mother and served to us on Christmas-themed china in the dining room, we all retire to the family room with the dogs to drink wine, listen to Christmas carols and open presents.
The present opening is an orgy of generosity and paper-tearing that wouldn’t be complete without a bow being tied around the bigger dog or the smaller dog being placed in an empty gift-box. But the evening is not without its own particular brand of strife. Every year, my dad will lift a carefully-chosen article of clothing my mom has given him halfway out of the box, hold it up to his body, and say “Why did you get it in this size?” Then he’ll gingerly lay it back into the box. “See how he doesn’t even take it all the way out of the box? That means it’s going back,” my mom will announce. It’s a little awkward, but I guess being married for 40 years means you get to do without the niceties of pretending to like something your spouse gave you or pretending like you don’t see through your spouse’s obvious hatred of your gift.