My lovely colleagues at WBEZ were kind enough to tape last week's Funny Ha-Ha for me, and so today I present to you one of the highlights from the show. Shame That Tune's Abraham Levitan closed the show by taking an audience suggestion for a historical operetta, so he ended up writing a three-part musical about a frisky grandma active in the labor movement sometime in the 1920's. It was very educational. Enjoy.
Kraft Mac and Cheese: It's clearly the answer!
Oct. 21, 2011Usually I put up interviews on Fridays but I'll be honest with you: the availability of interview subjects is directly related to the economy, so I'm doing my best to scrape some together. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this song/commercial/short movie by songwriter Wakiza Gamez and local filmmaker Steve Delahoyde (who I may or may not be married to. We'll see how things go. He plays the bongo player/Death.) It's an homage to the planet's favorite dairy/pasta dish, set to a tune from an old television promo. Enjoy, and sing along if you like:
Why can't I sleep?
Why am I so nervous?
Why can't I turn off my mind?
Should I take pills?
Should I drink bourbon?
Should I count sheep in the sky?
Oh I've got to get rest and be at my best
Presentation tomorrow at three
But my cat has been ill and some milk has been spilled
And my pictures are talking to me
And what should I do with these knives
That are following me?
Kraft Mac and Cheese
It's clearly the answer
The solution and savior for all
It comes in a box
It sedates the nerves
It squelches my hunger to maul
I can throw it in space rub it all on my face
I can make it write books for me
I can eat it in bed it can talk to the dead
Funny Ha-Ha Tonight!
Oct. 19, 2011I hope you come to the Hideout tonight for the latest installment of the literary humor reading series Funny Ha-Ha, this time featuring hosts of other reading series! It's basically an All-Star game of readings.
Date: Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Time: 7-8:30 PM
Place: The Hideout
1354 W Wabansia Ave
Chicago, IL 60622
(773) 227-4433 Featuring Readings and Performances By:
"The Interview Show" host and WBEZ blogger Mark Bazer
"The Kates" host Kelsie Huff
"Paper Machete" host Christopher Piatt
"Reading Under the Influence" host Amy Guth
"So You Think You Have Nerves of Steel?" host Jacob Knabb
"Shame That Tune" host Abraham Levitan
Hosted by Claire Zulkey
$5 suggested donation
List: Nicknames Georgia O’Keeffe and Alfred Stieglitz Had For Each Other
Oct. 18, 2011
Dearest One
Dearest Child
Dearest Sweet One
Dearest of Dearests
Dearest Dearest
My Faraway One
Little Girl
Dearest Duck
Little Duck
Dead Duck
Little Boy
Sweetheart
Dearest Sweetest White One
Dearest Whitest Thing I Know
Faraway Nearest One
Little Baby
Fluffy
Miss Fluffy
'I Asked the Guy Why Are You So Fly?' by Megan Stielstra
Oct. 17, 2011Megan Stielstra is a writer, storyteller, and literary director for 2nd Story, Chicago’s urban storytelling series. She’s performed for the Goodman Theatre, the Chicago Poetry Center, and National Public Radio. Her writing has been performed by the Serendipity Theatre Collective, Theatre Seven of Chicago, and Bohemian Archeology in New York. She teaches in the Fiction Writing Department at Columbia College and is a lecturer in creative writing at the University of Chicago. Her first book, Everyone Remain Calm, just came out last week. You can buy it here and learn much more about Megan here.
“Thirty is the new Twenty,” Bridget told me on my Thirtieth birthday. We were having brunch at one of those very hip places, with honeydew mimosas and servers who are really fashion models. Makes you wonder, how do they not spill honeydew mimosas all over their expensive designer clothes? Why do they wear expensive designer clothes to serve breakfast? Why do people wear expensive designer clothes to eat breakfast? Even Bridget had on an electric pink Juicy jumpsuit.
What we mean when we say we go camping
Oct. 13, 2011I know three people who have never gone camping in their entire lives, so this is for them. Maybe you’ve never been camping before either, in which case this is for you, in case you wanted to know what’s up with it.
When my husband and I were dating, he always talked about the two of us going camping together, which was a possibility I blew off with vague affirmations. “Oh yeah, sure, sometime...” It wasn’t that I was opposed to camping, but based on my experiences, it was a major hassle. Aside from a few overnights we’d take while I was in summer camp, I went on one serious camping trip in my youth, through the McGaw YMCA. I was about 16 or so, and our group drove up to Canada, put in at the Wenebegon River, and camped for two weeks. The trip was lots of fun and I have some wonderful memories from it (like making pancakes one morning with wild blueberries on a tinyisland we stayed on) but I’ll also never forget how onerous it could be at times. Pooping in a hole in the ground and using leaves as toilet paper wasn’t even that bad, for instance--having to canoe from said blueberry island in order to take a poop on another island because the island we were staying on was too small to safely poop on (and falling out of the canoe on the way back) was an entirely different thing.
A conspiracy unfolding (or folding): Beyonce's baby-bump (or lack thereof)
Oct. 12, 2011What you are about to read may shock and surprise you. It’s not meant for people who believe everything the “lamestream” media tells them, so please close this window unless you have an open mind.
I’ve never been a conspiracy theorist, although I’ve always been fascinated by people who don’t go with the flow when it comes to major events: the moon landing, the Holocaust, 9/11 and so on. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I admire those who believe that the majority of the world has been living a giant lie, but there is something intriguing about conspiracy theorists’ passion and the way they string together their bits of proof to form a cogent-seeming argument.
Well, I’m excited to announce that I have finally found a conspiracy that I can get behind, and it’s this:
Beyoncé Knowles is not really pregnant.
I had heard some rumors that there was something fishy going on when Beyoncé announced her pregnancy at the VMA’s a few weeks back: there were grumblings that it seemed odd that she had such a large baby bump (obligatory ‘ugh’ at that term) for being relatively early in her pregnancy. But I didn’t pay much attention. I’ve never been pregnant, and who knows with baby bumps.
List/s: Categorizing Halloween candy
Oct. 11, 2011
Halloween Candies I Used to Hate But Now Like (or Tolerate):
Peanut M&Ms
Mounds
Almond Joy
Almond Hershey’s
Halloween Candies I Used to Like But Now Realize are Useless:
Peanut Toffee in Black and Orange Wrappers
Halloween Candies I Still Don't Like:
Skittles
Candy Corn
Halloween Candies That Always Get Eaten Last:
Tootsie Rolls
Halloween Candies That I Suspect Don't Exist Outside the Context of Halloween:
Krackel
Mr. Goodbar