Do you know how old I am? No seriously, tell me. Because I’m approaching that age where I start to forget what my actual age is. (I think it’s 34, unless it’s 43? It could be anywhere in there.) This is a true sign of aging, and it’s definitely showing all over my body, this son-of-a-bitch we call time. Based on the somewhere-between-28-and-50 years I’ve spent on the planet, these are the tips I’ve learned for looking youthful. Just follow them strictly and you’ll look even fresher than my baby son does. Truth be told, even though he’s almost eight months old, it’s a hard eight.
Don’t drink. Don’t smoke.
Pretty much anything fun or cool: skip it. Any sort of life experience is just going to age you because chemicals suck the life out of your face and smiling gives you wrinkles and staying up late gives you bags under your eyes and makes you eat late night burritos which definitely isn’t good for your neck.
Don’t go outside.