I am writing this post from the distant past. Will there be snow tonight? Did the storm miss us? It's really irrelevant because you are coming out tonight to the return of Chicago's favorite literary humor reading series!
Sleeping: Good; room for improvement. You’ve come a long way, baby, since those first few weeks when we were all living on the edge there. Now you get up once a night to eat and once a night to be rescued after you’ve backed yourself into a corner of the crib.
Goals for 2013: According to the pediatrician, by eight months we can just close the door on your room and say goodnight for ten to twelve hours. This may be a difficult goal to achieve but we know you can do it. It is in the company’s best interests that you meet this milestone.
Crying: Satisfactory. You have gotten a lot better about not crying as much as you’ve grown older, partially because we have figured out that it’s better to put you down at 7 PM instead of watching you fuss and bitch and moan for another hour or two.
A few years ago when I was promoting my novel I was invited to the cleverly-named independent bookstore Read Between the Lynes in Woodstock to make an appearance. I was charmed by the lovely, warm store located in the town square, which feels like a shopping locale from another era (specifically, one that recurs again and again; Woodstock, as you may know, was where Groundhog Day was filmed.) As part of WBEZ’s closer look at Woodstock, I sent some questions to Read Between the Lynes owner and operator Arlene Lynes.
How and when did you come to Woodstock?
I came to Woodstock in March of 1997. We relocated here from New Jersey for a new position for my husband.
How has Woodstock changed since you first arrived?
Woodstock has grown with lots of new housing/retail developments in the past 16 years. Not all bad, but the flavor of agriculture is not as prominent!
What type of community is it to live and work in? Do you think it's friendlier to independent businesses than other cities?
Someone else's tooth
An itemized invoice
A dinosaur tooth
A dead parrot
A skull with all of its teeth missing except the one she placed under the pillow
A letter that reads: Dear Izzie, Thank you for ripping me away from my family, whom I loved dearly. Ask your daddy what revenge means. Sleep tight. Love, Tooth #1
Two pounds of raw beef
A note from an evil alchemical scientist telling her he is now a little bit closer to creating a homunculus
The Spanish inquisition! (no one expects that!)
Some rad decals
Pull out your own teeth and a note that says "we are all in this together"
“Documentary” is not quite the right word, though, as I expect most documentaries to reveal something or tell a story about their subjects, but since LIBAD was produced, written and directed by its subject and basically used footage that she either took or owns, it wasn’t exactly objective.
It was tightly-controlled and highly flattering to its subject.
A few days ago my friend Erica asked me what I was giving up for Lent. Ugh. It’s Lent again?
My first instinct was to say "Nintendo," which has been my joke answer since about 7th grade once I had passed the point of actually wanting to play Nintendo (unlike my brother, for whom giving up Nintendo would actually have been a sacrifice.) This is an example of your traditional sarcastic Catholic answer, which often takes the form of "Catholicism" when questioned "What are you giving up for Lent?" (This year the popular sarcastic answer is "The Pope.")
I tweet a lot.
There might be a slightly different attitude towards abuse of small children if a former altar server and parent of a small child were in charge.
I like both bread and wine.
Every day of Lent would be Fat Tuesday until Easter.
When pop culture makes fun of Catholicism, instead of embarrassing us by getting all outraged I’ll say something more along the lines of “Okay, you got us, that was pretty good.”
I used to take Italian and Latin.
The Church would be much more inclusive because then when parishes have church parties we could maybe rent out a club instead of having to use the old church rectory basement again.
I look good in hats and dresses.
It’s time for another Polish pope.
I got my flu shot so I’m good to go.