An uneducated man explains the Chicago Teachers Union strike authorization vote

June 21, 2012

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Last week, the Chicago Teachers Union decided they were allowed to strike, in an attempt to push Chicago Public Schools administrators to negotiate with them over longer school days and pay.

Comedian Ed Flynn knows you might not understand how this situation became so heated. And as a self-described "uneducated" individual, he wants to clear up any confusion. In his words, "As Oscar Wilde famously said in his most recent work FreeBrainyQuotes.com, 'By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, journalism keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.' Community, I am your ignorance." Read an excerpt below or listen above.

Apparently, this all started when Mayor Daley, sort of a plain spoken sort of a guy, visited a city in China. I’m not sure which one, because the only thing that identifies a Chinese city to me is Chinese people. Who of course also make up the rest of China. I mean, people-wise. China is also made up of ground and water and buildings and polluted air and sushi. Wait. Not sushi. Sorry. That’s Japan.

Anyway, Daley visited China and noticed that Chinese students have a longer school day than American students. And of course, Chinese students are like the Chinese of being students. They’re awesome and unlike American students they learn how to build things that have nothing to do with the words “entertainment blog.” By the way, totally check out my blog “Movies, Bitch, Get Out The Way.”

So Daley floated the idea of having a longer school day in the hope Chicago’s students could one day overtake the Chinese students in being the Chinese of being students.

But towards the end of his career Mayor Daley was like the American students of managing the city’s money. He sucked at it.

For example, he sold the parking meters and now there are robots that you have to feed a plastic rectangle before you get a little slip of paper that says how long your car can exist at that specific point in space and time. If you exist outside of those parameters that you negotiated with the robot, you have to pay an amount of the paper that we all say has value.

Mayor Daley did that. Basically, he created robot overlords.

So when Mayor Daley died and Prince Emanuel was confirmed by the pope, he became mayor and decided to see through the dying king’s wish.

But there was no money. And we need money. Because we can’t just give each other things and do things for one another. I don’t know why.

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