No, June is the cruellest month

June 4, 2012


News Item: June is National Accordion Awareness Month.
News Item: National Carpenter Ant Awareness Week starts June 24.
A call was placed.
"American Accordionists' Association."
Do accordions contain much wood?
"Yes. A great deal."
Thank you.
"You're welcome."
Some problems solve themselves.

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News Headline: "Obama dings Romney’s ‘corporations are people’ line."
Time we stopped taking Romney to task on this.
Corporations are people.
Microsoft is the smart kid with thick glasses who could never get a date.
Facebook is the guy who is always glad-handing everybody.
General Motors is the high school football captain who went on to make it big, enough to buy that house on top of the hill, but then he started drinking, except he's been sober three years now.
And Bain Capital?
See that guy under the broken streetlight down the block?
Yeah. He looks like a mugger, all right.

 

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News Item: UCLA plans separate graduations for gays, blacks, Hispanics, Asians, American Indians and Filipinos, among others, to promote diversity.
The ceremonies will be separate but equal.
 

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News Item: Congressional Republicans cut $512 million from funds to fight wildfires.
News Item: Firefighters say recent equipment shortages have slowed efforts to contain record New Mexico wildfire.
Typical of firefighters to expect a government handout of adequate equipment to fight fires.
Talk about socialists.
 

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+ Sultan al-Qahtani regarding camel shows in Saudi Arabia:
"The nose should be long and droop down, that's more beautiful. . . . The hump should be high, but slightly to the back. . . ."
+ A camel breeder regarding the camel shows:
"You look for big eyes, long lashes and. . . ."
+ A local follower regarding the camel shows:
"The Arabian camel is the strongest yet most tender. . . ."
Not that there is anything wrong with that.
 

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News Headline: "Wisconsin recall won't determine the presidential race."
News Headline: "Wisconsin recall will resonate in presidential race."
News Headline: "Few November clues to be found in Wisconsin recall."
News Headline: "Recall election could foretell November vote."
So at least we have that straight.
 

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News Item: ". . . another mass shooting committed by a private citizen legally allowed to carry a concealed, loaded handgun in public. . . ."
And what else could the Founding Fathers have intended when they wrote the Second Amendment?

 

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K.P., a Morrison, Ill., reader, following QT's humiliating its computer by having its spell-checker enter the National Spelling Bee, writes:
"My spell-checker stops at 'Zay.' "
So does QT's.
But funny thing. It doesn't stop at "QT."
QT's spell-checker, by the way, has a problem with "swirlies" and "noogies" but none with "wet-willies" and "wedgies."
For those who might have wondered.
 

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News Headline: "Ultrahigh-intensity laser pulses could be measured with relativistic electrons."
Good news for anyone who had relativistic electrons in the office pool.
 

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QT Trickle-On Economics Update:
Meg Whitman, CEO of Hewlett-Packard, received $16.1 million in bonus stock options as preparations were made to lay off 27,000 workers.
 

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News Item: "Men prefer dumb, sleepy or drunk women over those with charm and intelligence when they're on the hunt for a one-night-stand, according to a new study."
More shocking news from the people who study things.

 

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News Item:  ". .  . the pop star flatly denied. . . ."
News Item:  ". . .  the organization roundly denied. . . ."
News Item:  ". . .  the government squarely denied. . . ."
News Item:  ". . .  the kind of triangulation that Obama exhibited. . . ."
Yes. But will he flatly, roundly or squarely deny he is triangulating?
 

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QT Summer Travel Advisory:
Twenty-nine days remain until the Welsh Llangollen Eisteddfod in Clwyd.

 

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News Headline: "Ever wonder why some people are intimidated by social media?"
No.

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From the QT Archive of Knowledge (Queen's Diamond Jubilee Edition):
+  Those meeting Queen Elizabeth on her travels are instructed not to sneeze in her presence.
+  Queen Elizabeth owns a salt shaker that weighs 14 pounds.
 

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Today's Birthdays: George III, 274; Apple II, 35.
 

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QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
Doug Dahlgren, a Chicago reader, writes:
"A newspaper photo caption: 'Where President Obama's campaign headquarters is located.' Isn't 'located' an unnecessary word? (At least it didn't read 'is located at.')"
Sorry. QT wishes it had time to answer each and every question it receives about redundancy.
But it is too busy at the moment studying aposiopesis, which, of course, might–


Write to QT at qt@wbez.org
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