Obama. Forward. Well, not always. . . .

June 1, 2012


News Headline: "Wisconsin state recall nears pivotal day."
News Headline: "Recall effort trails in close race."
News Headline: "Volunteers push recall effort."
News Headline: "Clinton heading for Wisconsin."
News Headline: "Petition: Wisconsin needs your help, President Obama."
News Headline: "Obama would love to come to Wisconsin, understand, and rally the troops, as they say, whatever the outcome, but, well, what with scheduling and all–so, anyway, good luck and see everybody around."
Sorry. Made the last one up.
 

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News Headline: "Has Donald Trump hijacked Mitt Romney's campaign?"
Who hasn't?
Next question.
 

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News Headline: "Who will stop Syria's massacres?"
News Headline: "Syrian officials face Olympics ban."
That is the least the world can do.
And when hasn't the world done the least it can do?
 

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Tomorrow is World Environment Day.
As of this writing, there still was one.

 

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News Item: "Ground beef producers are hoping the summer grilling season will provide a bounce-back from a customer revolt this spring over a product dubbed 'pink slime'. . . ."
News Item: "U.S. regulators denied a request to change the name of high-fructose corn syrup to merely 'corn sugar'. . . ."
We'll have to let these controversies play out.
But we do seem to have the start of a recipe here. . . .
 

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News Headline: "Is Marco Rubio the Sarah Palin of 2012?"
News Headline: "Texas' Ted Cruz: The GOP's next Marco Rubio?"
QT will get back to you as soon as it figures out who the next Ted Cruz will be.

 

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QT What Passes for Miracles These Days Update:
An image of Jesus has been found in a bathroom's shower mold in Splendora, Texas.
 

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News Item: ". . . Mitt Romney and the RNC, which are projected to raise at least $800 million, as well as a $1 billion outside attack operation. . . ."
News Item: ". . . the Obama campaign has pledged to raise $1 billion for its 2012 re-election effort. . . ."
Wouldn't it be more efficient just to put the United States up on eBay?

 

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News Headline: "Meghan McCain: Karl Rove is a 'pathetic excuse for a human being.' "
Who would have suspected that was the case?
 

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Tom Nee, an Oak Lawn reader, regarding a business news story stating that "multi-million-dollar mansions and $100,000 Porsches are flying off local shelves," writes:
"Could this have something to do with earthquake activity?"
Are you, by chance, voicing concern about the New Madrid Fault, which stretches across the central United States and whose last major earthquake 200 years ago changed the course of the Mississippi River, rang church bells in Boston and knocked bison to the ground in the Plains?
QT thought you were.
Well. Rest easy.
Scientists say the chance of another major New Madrid earthquake anytime soon is "unlikely."
Which is to say it could happen at any moment but probably won't.
So stop worrying.

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News Headline: "Why do Republicans want to privatize the Postal Service?"
Because it is high time we started running the government like a business.
In other news, it is reported that JPMorgan Chase's recent $2 billion loss in derivatives trading may turn out to be as much as $5 billion.

 

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News Headline: "San Diego girl wins National Spelling Bee."
QT was inspired to enter its computer spell-checker in the bee.
The test consisted of the five most recent winning words.
The spell-checker managed "guerdon."
It failed on "guetapens," "Laodicean," "stromuhr" and "cymotrichous."
Never miss an opportunity to humiliate a computer.
 

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News Headline: ”Andromeda galaxy to hit Milky Way in 4 billion years."
Not to start a panic, but astronomers were telling us 15 years ago that the collision would happen in 5 billion years.
 

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From the QT Archive of Knowledge:
+ The opposite of a libertarian is a necessitarian.
+ Wisconsin produces 20 pounds of cheddar cheese a second.
 

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QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
Howard Palmer, a Sugarloaf, Pa., reader, writes:
"Should there be one space or two spaces after a period?"
One space. Unless you prefer two spaces.
It was the invention of the typewriter that prompted the two-space rule.
The feeling was that two spaces worked better in a typewritten text to give pause between sentences
But the typewriter is almost gone now.
And so is the rule.
The first syllable of "gigabyte," by the way, should be pronounced JIG, not GIG.
And the first two syllables of "gerrymander" should be pronounced GARY, not JERRY.


Write to QT at qt@wbez.org
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