Those scientists will believe anything. . . .

June 20, 2012


News Item: IBM Sequoia supercomputer sets record as world's fastest, performing 16.32 quadrillion calculations per second.
That is, if  you are inclined to take the computer's word for it.
 

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News Headline: "Obama wooing Wall Street again for campaign cash."
News Headline: "Romney woos Christian conservatives."
QT Abridged Too Far Dictionary of the English Language:
woo. v.tr. 1. to solicit favor or approval. 2.  to offer special treatment. 3. maybe cut a few deals. 4. sometimes you almost have to crawl. 5. really, whatever it takes [see: eyes, avert your].

 

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News Headline: "Is Twitter turning us into narcissists?"
News Headline: "Lindsay Lohan tweets 'note to self.' "
Asked and answered.
 

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Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) on what is wrong with the U.S. economy:
"There is an act of economic treason, in my judgment, going on this country from both parties for the last 30 years, where the transnational corporation is the one for whom everything is done."
Then again, what do you expect from a socialis –
Wait. No.
Those are the words of Patrick Buchanan.
Sorry.

 

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Karl Weiszhaar, a Denver reader, writes:
"I just made this up: What do you call a guy in the woods with an iPhone? An appy camper."
You will recall a recent study showing that laughter contributes aerobically to heart fitness.
There is no telling how many lives you may have saved today.

 

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News Headline: "Birther edging out prosecutor in judge race."
The headline writers seem to have run out games to play with the names of the candidates for a San Diego, Calif., judgeship.
Garland Peed now trails Gary Kreep by 1,458 votes.
There are only 2,000 absentee ballots left to be counted.
Soon, in this space, you will probably see these final results:
Kreep up on top and Peed all over.
QT tries never to run out of games to play.

 

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News Item: ". . . No campaign may ever top the Andrew Jackson-John Quincy Adams race of 1828, in which Jackson was accused of murder, drunkenness, cockfighting, slave-trading, and, most delicious of all, cannibalism. . . ."
Mitt Romney has been quiet on this subject, come to think of it.
Is he hiding something?
Why haven't we seen any real evidence that he isn't a cannibal?

 

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QT Sunspot and Solar Wind Update: 19 and 919,314 mph.

 

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News Headline: "Seek alternatives to 'pink slime' beef product."
News Headline: "Restaurants use 'meat glue' to make steaks out of scraps."
News Headline: "There's arsenic in our chicken, say two studies."
News Headline: "Beaver glands in your vanilla ice cream?"
Finally. Dessert.

 

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We Have Seen the Present, and It Does Not Work:
The National Security Agency has refused to tell two U.S. senators how many Americans it is spying on because that would "violate the privacy" of the Americans being spied upon.

 

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News Headline: "Physicists theorize neutrons may be escaping into a mirror universe."
Didn't you like it better when they sat under trees and let apples fall on their heads?
 

 

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QT Summer Travel Advisory:
Tourists visiting Moscow can now go to the square at Rustaveli Street and view a monument to Soviet-era processed cheese.

 

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News Headline: "China launches 3 astronauts into space."
News Headline: "Bristol Palin reality series launches on Lifetime."
Let the Chinese launch all they want.
We have our launches, too.

 

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News Headline: "Cyclist attacked by man swinging sausages."
There is probably an interesting story behind that.

 

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From the QT Archive of Knowledge:
+ President Clinton sent two emails while in office.
+ A 10-gallon hat holds three quarts.

 

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QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
P.S., a Montreal reader, regarding QT's pointing out that there is always a "the" in front of the Mahatma Gandhi, writes:
"I suppose it's time to note that it is The Ohio State University."
And we might as well get this done right now:
There is always a "the" in front of, in addition to the above, the Hague, the Netherlands and the Bronx.
There is never a "the" in front of Magna Carta, hoi polloi, Ukraine, Sudan or Lyric Opera.
And there is no "the" in the middle of Smokey Bear.
The QT thanks you for your time.


Write to QT at qt@wbez.org
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