Born on the. . . on the. . . .

July 4, 2012


From Poor QT's Almanack:
On this day in 1776, the American Revolution start–
Wait. Sorry. The revolution started on April 19, 1775.
From Poor QT's Almanack:
On this day in 1776, the Continental Congress voted for indepen–
Wait. Sorry. That was July 2.
From Poor QT's Almanack:
On this day in 1776, two days after voting for independence, the Continental Congress met for the formal signing of the Decla–
Wait. Sorry. Only John Hancock, the president of Congress, and Charles Thompson, the secretary, signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4.
In fact, the entire Continental Congress didn't sign it until August 2.
Except, of course, for Thomas McKean of Delaware, who didn't get around to signing it until 1781.
From Poor QT's Almanack:
Happy Fourth of July, anyway!
 

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A Republic, If You Can Keep It:
Two of three people you see on the street thinks the First Amendment "goes too far."

 

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President Obama campaigning as the Fourth of July approached:
"For those who have abandoned hope, we'll restore hope and we'll welcome them into a great national crusade to make America great again."
The Tea Party may be right.
Obama does have a tendency to cut down this great na–
Wait. No.
That was Ronald Reagan in 1980.
Sorry.

 

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News Headline: "Locals warned not to shoot into the sky when they see fireworks."
It could be the locals anywhere.
And it could be time for the. . . .

 

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QT Third Annual (Except for a Five Years Missed Here and There) Second Amendment Warning to Fourth of July Revelers:
If you fire a gun into the air, remember that a bullet will start at about 2,700 feet per second.
It will climb for about two miles.
It will come back down and hit whatever it hits at about 300 feet per second.
A bullet traveling at  200 feet per second will penetrate a skull.
All this takes about a minute.
Happy Fourth of July!

 

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QT Early Warning System:
Sixty-four years remain until the Tricentennial.


 

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News Headline: "Romney agrees with Obama: Health mandate not a tax."
Thank you, gentlemen.
You have given us a gift for the Fourth of July.
You have given us a moment of bipartisanship.
And next time, who knows?
You might even get together on a point not intended to mislead the voters.

 

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QT Guide to Fourth of July Fireworks (Giving Us All a Chance to Seem Surprisingly Knowledgeable to Our Friends at the Fireworks Show):
Chrysanthemums. Stars that burst from a central core.
Diadems. Ejected strips or disks that flicker brightly as they fall.
Hummers. Small tubes that spin and create a humming or screaming sound.
Turbillons. Ignited shells that spin like a top when they rise.
Strobes. Clusters of flashing, silvery lights that appear to float slowly the ground.
Salutes. The big booms that end most shows.
Now all you have to do is lean over at some point during the show say:
"Now that was a hummer."
 

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And is there a finer summer night sound than the sound of distant fireworks?

 

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QT is tempted now to tell you of the night 235 years ago when a British redcoat was trying slip past a Colonial farm, at which point a rooster started squawking and clamped its beak on the redcoat's pant leg, waking the farmer, who ran out of the house, saw what had happened, and shouted: "Chicken catch a Tory!"
But QT will resist the temptation.


 

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From the QT Archive of Knowledge:
+ Paul Revere was half French.
+ Benjamin Franklin liked to windsurf.

 

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QT takes this moment every Fourth of July to remember a walk it once took along Devon Avenue.
There were stops at a Kosher-style delicatessen run by a Korean and a Filipino laundromat run by an Iraqi.
QT then stopped for slice of Pakistani-style pizza served by a Russian waitress who was reading a Spanish novel in English translation.
"Do you like American food?" QT finally asked.
"Oh, yes."
"What is your favorite American food?"
"French fries."
Happy Fourth of July!

 

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Today's Birthdays: Meyer Lansky, 110; Tokyo Rose, 96.
No holiday is perfect.

 

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QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
There are 105,000 Google hits for "July 4 Celabration."
Anyway, Happy Fourth of July!

Write to QT at qt@wbez.org
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