News Headline: "New 'God particle' may help explain the universe."
In language none of us will be able to understand.
A Republic, If You Can Keep It:
Half the people you see on the street, according to a survey, are unaware that the Supreme Court recently handed down a decision on health care.
News Headline: "Countdown to Taxmageddon."
News Headline: "Feds sued for suspected Irangate documents."
We can hope a scandal doesn't happen involving next year's scheduled tax increases.
Or are we ready for Taxmageddongate?
News Item (2006): ". . . turning a corner in Afghanistan. . . ."
News Item (2008): ". . . turned a corner in Afghanistan. . . ."
News Item (2010): ". . . have turned a corner in Afghanistan. . . ."
News Item (2012): ". . . turned a corner in Afghanistan. . . ."
The trouble with the turning of corners is the going in circles.
TV Reporter: "What are two freedoms guaranteed in the Bill of Rights?"
Man on Street: "Uh."
This was not an uncommon answer during the report.
So. It has reached this point:
It used to be said that we took our freedoms for granted.
But at least we knew approximately what they were.
News Headline: "New species of fly decapitates ants--and then lives in their heads."
A question for creationists:
When did the Intelligent Designer start snorting bath salts?
News Headline: "Former Olympian Michael Johnson: Slave descendants have 'superior athletic gene.' "
QT's younger son once had a teacher who announced that it was impossible to be racist toward whites.
QT's son got into a little trouble for challenging this point.
QT has not often been prouder of its son.
New York GOP congressional candidate Chris Collins defending the U.S. health-care system by citing its achievements:
"People now don't die from prostate cancer, breast cancer and some of the other things."
Do remember when we expected political candidates to be reasonably intelligent, reasonably informed and some of the other things?
News Item: ". . . the Washington Post Company surely broke new ground by appointing Laura Evans as executive owner of the customer experience. . . ."
Katherine Rylaarsdam, a Baltimore reader, writes:
"I'll own my own damn experience, thank you."
And beyond asking when did the guy in the complaints department become the executive owner of the customer experience, B.N., a Chicago reader, wants to know:
When did gambling become "gaming," and when can we have gambling back?
And. . . .
News Headline: "Go Burger unveils hamburger topped with hot dog."
News Headline: "15 crazy potato chip flavors."
It's a good thing agribusiness isn't manipulating us in every imaginable way into eating large amounts of unhealthy foods just for the sake of its profits.
We can be glad of that.
News Headline: "7-Eleven shrinks Double Gulp to 50 ounces."
See? All it takes is restraint.
News Headline: "Pope Benedict tries to purify scandal-ridden Vatican Bank."
"And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them. . . ."
Would that work?
News Headline: "Romney agrees with Obama: Health mandate not a tax."
News Headline: "Romney, in shift, agrees health-care mandate is a tax."
All right. He did it again.
But let's try to look on the bright side.
A candidate who is two-faced is right half the time.
From the QT Archive of Knowledge:
+ The Eiffel Tower is six inches taller in the summer.
+ One percent of Americans think Jesus Christ was "the greatest American of all time."
Today's Birthdays: Czar Nicholas I, 216; The Duke of Earl, 75.
QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
News Item: ". . . careened through the streets. . . ."
News Item: ". . . careened through the intersection. . . ."
To careen is to tip to one side.
And a car will do this sometimes, but only sometimes, when it travels at high speed--or careers--through the streets or an intersection.
The verb is "to career."
Inflammable is more flammable than flammable, by the way.
Write to QT at email@example.com
QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.