News Headline: "Romney 'retired retroactively' from Bain Capital."
News Headline: "Romney again refuses to release tax returns."
If you come in late for work some morning, tell the boss you are arriving retroactively and already have a lot of work done.
Then tell the boss that you won't show him the work you did, but it was excellent work, and the boss can take your word for it.
And let QT know how it works out, will you?
News Headline: "The 'American Idol' shakeup: Predicting the new judges panel."
News Headline: "Predicting Romney's VP choice."
QT doesn't know which story is attracting greater public attention.
It doesn't know because it is afraid to look.
News Headline: "Why Mitt Romney won't release his tax returns: 6 theories."
1. He is hiding something.
2. There is something he is hiding.
3. He is hiding a number of things.
4. There are a number of things he is hiding.
5. There are some things he doesn't want voters to see.
6. So he is hiding them.
T.F., a Luxemburg, Wis., reader, regarding another reader's asking when gambling became gaming, and when can we have gambling back, writes:
"Gambling became gaming about the time terrorists became insurgents."
And R.R., a Chicago reader, regarding a news story about the "bad optics" of Obamacare's mandate penalty, writes:
"When did bad PR became bad optics, and when can we have bad PR back?"
And. . . .
News Item: "A publisher promoting an 'official' national convention magazine for the Democratic National Committee is. . . ."
QT will wait for the swimsuit issue.
News Item: "The U.S. Navy's new class of carriers will be the first to go without urinals, a decision made in part to give the service flexibility in accommodating female sailors. . . ."
The Navy is a proud and fierce fighting force.
But is it fully prepared to become involved in the argument about leaving the seat down?
QT News to Reassure Worried Readers Update:
According to the Near Earth Object Program of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration, no asteroid will come within 3.1 million miles of Earth in the next three months.
That we know of.
News Item: ". . . wonton destruction of private property. . . ."
News Item: ". . . acts of wonton vandalism. . . ."
News Item: ". . . a large bowl of wanton soup. . . ."
News Item: ". . . serving wanton soup. . . ."
What is going on in our Chinese restaurants?
QT Vote Count Countdown Update:
+ "Will GOP governors kill Obamacare?"
+ "Can Anthony Weiner make a comeback?"
+ "Did Mitt Romney lie about his tenure at Bain Capital?
+ "Are attack ads effective?"
+ "Should the GOP allow Sarah Palin to speak at Mitt Romney's convention?"
+ "Will Obama tackle the drug war?"
+ "Is Florida trying to purge legitimate voters?"
No, yes, yes, yes, oh please yes, no, yes.
Be patient. This will all be over before you know it.
News Headline: "Slower walking speed may be sign of Alzheimer's in elderly."
Or a sign of being elderly.
News Headline: "Obama birth probe finds 'national security threat.' "
Why is QT suddenly reminded of the right-wing strategist who reportedly described his job as "scaring the s--- out of stupid people"?
News Headline: "San Francisco eyes ways to cut plastic bottle use."
So here is an idea:
Sell liquids in glass bottles, with small deposits required to encourage the return of the bottles, which would then be cleaned, refilled and sold again.
That would never work.
News Item: "The FBI says it has launched an investigation into the discovery of sewing needles in four turkey sandwiches on separate Delta Air Lines flights. . . ."
Airlines meanwhile are announcing a $20 sucharge for sandwiches with no needles.
News Headline: "Traffic signs in New Zealand destroyed by prostitutes performing stunts."
There is probably an interesting story behind that.
From the QT Archive of Knowledge:
+ George Washington owned a dog named Sweetlips.
+ There are 24 dog days left in the dog days of summer.
Today's Birthdays: William Makepeace Thackeray, 201; Oscar Mayer Wienermobile, 76.
QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
QT is knocking off for the day.
In fact, it is knocking off retroactively.
Please unread this item and the previous two.
Write to QT at email@example.com
QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.