The heavens shall tremble

August 24, 2012


News Headline: "Hurricane threatens to disrupt Republican convention."

These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: 
A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, 
A heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.


Uh-oh.
And a cautionary note to the Democrats:
Your convention will be in a hurricane zone, also.
 

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News Item: ". . . The survey also found that half of American men would punch a co-worker if they could get away with it. . . ."
Which leaves half of American men available to be punched.
These social issues often sort themselves out.
 

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News Headline: "Rep. Michele Bachmann claims Muslim infiltration in federal government."
News Headline: "Texas judge claims Obama will hand over America to U.N. if  re-elected."
Do you remember when the lunatic fringe stayed off  to itself, maybe handing out a few pamphlets, instead of holding important public office?
Just reminiscing.
 

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News Item: "JetBlue and Canada's WestJet are cutting legroom for some nonpremium seats. At the same time, they're increasing legroom for seats in higher-priced sections."
These jet cabins will be an excellent place for travelers to study Mitt Romney's tax proposals.

 

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News Item: ". . . organized anarchist groups have shown up at past conventions. . . . "
Add anarchists to the list of things that aren't what they used to be.
And Michael L. Smith, a San Diego, Calif., reader, wants to know when a bank teller became a "relationship officer," and when can we have bank tellers back?
And. . . .
 

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News Headline: "Poll: 57 percent of Republicans don't like Muslims."
These polls are useful.
Now Americans who are reasonable and tolerant can know, with some assurance, that they don't like 57 percent of Republicans.
 

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News Item: TV networks will again limit coverage of Republican and Democratic conventions to one hour of prime time each night.
But the networks will still offer "Last Man Standing" and "Criminal Minds."
So give them credit for a few more hours.
 

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QT What Passes for Miracles These Days Update:
An image of Jesus has been discovered in the wall stains beneath a pay phone in a hot dog stand in Lawrence, N.H.
 

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Modern Education + the Criminal Mind =
A man in Port Charlotte, Fla., attempted to use a bicycle as his getaway vehicle after stealing a 32-inch TV from a Wal-Mart, police said.
 

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News Item: "Des Moines officials will continue to monitor complaints about a putrid smell wafting from an animal rendering plant. . . . 'It's a putrid, dead animal smell,' said Bruce Gerleman, who owns the downtown seafood restaurant Splash. Gerleman also owns Jethro's BBQ in. . . ."
QT will bow here to vegetarians, who are thinking that some dead animal smells are evidently preferable to others.

 

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From the QT Archive of Knowledge:
+ The billionth digit of pi is 9.
+ What do you think Mitt Romney is hiding in his tax returns, anyway?

 

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News Headline: "Gun enthusiasts keep starting wildfires in Utah."
Mass murders, Saturday nights in Chicago — and now wildfires, too.
Can we ever thank our gun enthusiasts enough?
 

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QT Early Warning System:
Eight days remain until National Cholesterol Education Month.
QT hopes to teach the alphabet to its jar of mayonnaise.

 

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News Headline: "Frackers in frantic search for guar bean substitute."
Do our frackers excite too easily?
 

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From Poor QT's Almanack:
On this day in history 1,602 years ago Rome was overrun by the Visigoths, 1,443 years to the day before the invention of the potato chip, in what was almost certainly a coincidence.
 

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QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
George Smith, a Glendale Heights reader, regarding QT's mentioning the display of  "13-ton boulder carved into John Wayne's head," writes:
"Wow, I had no idea that John Wayne's head was on display in Lubbock, Texas, or that it was large enough to have a 13-ton boulder carved into it."
Sorry.
QT will not waste time on distractions about the quality of its writing while we face the important issues of jobs and the economy.
One doesn't escape by the skin of his teeth, by the way, but with the skin of his teeth.


Write to QT at qt@wbez.org
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