A little conventional wisdom

August 29, 2012


News Item: "Republicans will weave the theme of Monday’s canceled convention session into the three remaining days’ themes — 'We Built It,' 'We Can Change It' and. . . ."
Change it?
Must have built it wrong.
 

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News Headline: "Chris Christie, overweight New Jersey governor, addresses GOP."
Hey. C'mon.
Christie gave a good old Republican keynote speech — the kind we haven't heard in a while — tough, conservative and almost reasonable.
He even used the word "bipartisan" three times.
There was one serious falsehood in the 2,638 words:
"We have a nominee who will tell us the truth."
But no speech is perfect.
 

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QT Trickle-On Economics Update:
When Mitt Romney campaigned at an Ohio coal mine earlier this month, the owners ordered the miners to attend while shutting down the mine and docking them a day's pay.
 

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Bill Savage, a Chicago reader, regarding reports of assaults with a banjo and a ukulele, agrees with another reader that the attackers were looking for treble but wonders if this is really anything to fret about.
 

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News Headline: "Romney on birther remark: 'We've got to have a little humor in a campaign."
News Headline: "Romney: No role in Bain management after 1999."
News Headline: "Romney claimed to be active at Bain in 2010 to avoid taxes."
The man keeps cracking us up.
 

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News Headline:
"Police want more surveillance cameras."
News Headline: "Drones could be used to monitor public from the sky."
The time approaches when the government's watchful eyes will never be off us once we are out the front door.
What could possibly go wrong?
 

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News Headline: "17 Afghans beheaded for singing and dancing."
For those keeping track of faith-based initiatives.

 

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News Headline: "Arizona plans 200-mile border fence."
The fence will cost $2.8 million a mile and be virtually impenetrable.
Illegal immigrants will have no choice but to go around it.
 

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News Headline: "Protesters dressed as giant vaginas greet GOP delegates."
Which is about as serious a considerations of women's issues as we will see this week in Tampa.
 

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News Headline: "Man throws cell phone at woman."
News Headline: "Man jumps bank counter demanding $5,000."
News Headline: "Man drives through fence at party."
News Headline: "Man crashes bulldozer into home."
News Headline: "Man dances nude in the street."
At least the man's day ended happily.
 

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Tom Nee, an Oak Lawn reader, regarding a bank robber in Edmonds, Wash., who disguised himself with a strip of duct tape across his nose, wants you to know the robber almost pulled it off.
 

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Mitt Romney on the advice his late father might have offered this week:
"Don't worry about what people think--just be bold, get the job done. That's the advice he'd give me.”
George Romney released 12 years of tax returns when he ran for president in 1968.
"One year could be a fluke," he said, "perhaps done for show."
 Do you think the father might have had more advice for the son?
 

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QT Sunspot and Solar Wind Update: 85 and 1,106,600 mph.
 

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News Headline: "Tribal casinos in California: the last vestige of indoor smoking."
When political correctness collides with political correctness. . . .
 

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QT Modern Corporate Gibberish of the Week:
Zayo has expanded its--
Wait. That one has a nice ring to it.
But Xilinx and Ixia have announced acquisitions.
  

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News Headline: "Sexting, nude photos, marijuana, talking to cats and gunfire lead to prison."
There is probably an interesting story behind that.
 

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QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
+ Beverly Feldt, a Homewood reader, regarding QT's warning that a group of geese is a gaggle only if it is on the water, writes:
"Are geese in flight a chevron?"
Geese in flight are a team or a skein.
Geese flying in a V formation are a chevron or wedge.
Geese flying in a close bunch are a plump.
For those getting tired of geese, a group of baboons is a congress of baboons, which may explain a great deal.
+ P.S., a Montreal reader, regarding QT's warning that there is always a "the" in front of the Mahatma Gandhi, not to mention the Ohio State University, writes:
"I was wondering if you have already listed The Glenlivet."
Yes. But what should a group of The Glenlivets be called?
Stupendous is larger than colossal, by the way.

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