A few words from a work creator

September 5, 2012


Union leader Mary Kay Henry telling the Democratic Convention how a business ought to be run:
"Make the best quality of goods possible at the lowest cost possible, paying the highest wages possible."
And then adding for the benefit of business owners who go around saying "I built that":
"We must all lift together and pull together."
But what do you expect from a—
No. Wait.
Those are the words of Henry Ford.
Sorry.
 

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News Item: ". . . efforts by the Obama campaign to show him as caring about ordinary Americans. . . ."
News Item: ". . . to showcase Mitt Romney as a man who understands everyday Americans. . . ."
This is a free country, so choose your insult.
Which are you, ordinary or everyday?
 

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News Headline: "What to look for at the Democratic Convention."
OK. Let's split up to cover more ground.
You over there, look for speeches about the Wall Street prosecutions.
And you, next to him, look for speeches about the tighter gun laws.
And you take the Patriot Act and the actions restoring our rights after—
What? You want to know what QT will look for?
QT will look for a purple unicorn doing the hokey-pokey.
 

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News Headline: "Ryan: President 'running campaign based on envy and division.' "
QT freely admits: It is envious of a 15 percent tax rate.
Or to put it another way:
What else is Mitt Romney hiding in his tax returns?
 

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W.S., an Evanston reader, regarding the U.S. military's installing "healthy vending machines" to help keep soldiers trim, wonders if this should be a case of donut ask, donut tell.
 

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QT Yellowstone Caldera (the eruptions of which can be violent enough to send a layer of ash six feet deep as far away as Chicago and which erupts every 600,000 or so years and last erupted 640,000 years ago) Update:
New research suggests that, contrary to previous belief, there could be a "relatively rapid" eruption of the caldera without "any clear sign of magma moving towards the surface" to warn us.
Not to worry.
The ash cloud won't reach Chicago for hours.
 

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News Item: ". . . even with a depressed voter turnout. . . ."
Depressed? Inconsolable is more like it.
 

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We Have Seen the Present, and It Does Not Work:
The State Department's chief diversity officer has warned against using the expression "hold down the fort," as it might be offensive to American Indians.
 

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News Headline: "Federal cuts threaten taps being performed live at military funerals."
Note to federal budget planners:
When you make up the next budget, start, before anything else, with providing funds for buglers to perform taps at every military funeral.
Start with that.
Then fill in the rest.
 

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News Item: ". . . Barack Obama's grandfather grew up in a polygamist culture in Kenya and Mitt Romney's grandfather lived on a polygamist Mormon commune. . .  ."
QT Abridged Too Far Dictionary of the English Language:
polygamy n. 1. the custom or condition of being married to more than one person at a time, often in a communal setting. 2. communism with benefits [see: presidency, utterly irrelevant subjects brought up repeatedly in campaigns for the].
 

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QT What Passes for Miracles These Days Update:
Justin Bieber has an image of Jesus on his left leg and the name "Jesus" on his ribcage.
You can't explain that.
 

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News Headline: "Maple syrup heist baffles Quebec."
Gene Christianson, an Overland Park, Kan., reader, says you never know when someone is going to get sticky fingers.
 

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QT Early Warning System:
Ten days remain until International Sing-Out Day, during which you will be asked to "sing out your words instead of speaking them," and "you can even add a few dance steps, if you like."
We may want to keep a special eye on Vice President Biden.
 

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News Item: ". . . including a sweep by a dog-sniffing unit. . . ."
News Item: ". . . revising their dog-sniffing policy. . . ."
News of interest for those who sniff dogs.
 

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QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
News Item: ". . . an old adage that a fish rots from the head. . . ."
News Item: ". . . the old adage that you drive for show, putt for dough. . . ."
And there is the adage that there is no such thing as a new adage, so just stay with adage.
The military past tense of "open fire" is not "opened fire" but "open fired," by the way.

Write to QT at qt@wbez.org
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