WBEZ 91.5 Chicago

News Headline: "Wisconsin state recall nears pivotal day."
News Headline: "Recall effort trails in close race."
News Headline: "Volunteers push recall effort."
News Headline: "Clinton heading for Wisconsin."
News Headline: "Petition: Wisconsin needs your help, President Obama."
News Headline: "Obama would love to come to Wisconsin, understand, and rally the troops, as they say, whatever the outcome, but, well, what with scheduling and all–so, anyway, good luck and see everybody around."
Sorry. Made the last one up.
 

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News Headline: "Has Donald Trump hijacked Mitt Romney's campaign?"
Who hasn't?
Next question.
 

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News Headline: "Who will stop Syria's massacres?"
News Headline: "Syrian officials face Olympics ban."
That is the least the world can do.
And when hasn't the world done the least it can do?

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The Case for Zero Tolerance of Modern School Administrators:
+  Edmond North High School in Edmond, Okla., has named 45 valedictorians.
+  Dublin Jerome High School in Dublin, Ohio, has named 53 valedictorians.
All right. We can stop now.
The time arrives.
We are in the midst of the commencements.
 Happy graduation to all you valedictorians out there!
And, also, to the few high school seniors who aren't!
 

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News Headline: "Wisconsin recall officials unknowingly break law with Facebook posts."
Another reason to feel superior to Wisconsin.
Illinois officials always know exactly what they are doing when they break the law.
 

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News Headline: "Novel probe for ultracold quantum matter reported."
And weren't you getting a little tired of the same old ultracold quantum matter probes?
 

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News Headline: "CEO indicted in 16-count federal fraud case."

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News Headline: "Memorial Day car sales expected to be big success."
News Headline: "Get discounts on the go for your Memorial Day weekend."
News Headline: "Memorial day services to honor the fallen."
Wait. How did that last one get in there?

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From Poor QT's Almanack:
On this day we mark Memorial Day, which, it was promised long ago, would always be May 30, a day when the flowers were thought to be most in bloom, a day to honor the soldiers and sailors who died for us.
Only now it is whatever the last Monday of the month happens to be so we can have three-day weekends, and shame on us.

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News Headline: "Wave the flag on Memorial Day."
We should try to do this right, even on the wrong day.
If you display the flag:
+  The flag should not be used in advertisements.
+  The flag should not be draped on a car or podium.
+  The flag should not be displayed on clothing or any object that is designed to be discarded.

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News Headline: "Mitt Romney's new nickname: Rmoney."
News Headline: "Rot-ney?"
This is a frivolous waste of time.
We have more serious things to do.
Will everyone please stop trying to hang nicknames on Wall Street Willard?
 

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News Headline: "Romney: Obama's reckless spending fans a 'prairie fire of debt.' "
News Headline: "Romney: I'll fight 'spending inferno.' "
Federal spending in Obama's first three budget years has risen a total of 1.4 percent.
Add prairie fires and infernos to the list of things that aren't what they used to be.
 

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The Case for Zero Tolerance of Modern School Administrators:
Temescal Canyon High School in Lake Elsinore, Calif., has named 37 valedictorians.
 

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Bob Zuley, a Chicgo reader, writes:

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News Headline: "Is Obama vulnerable on the economy?"
News Headline: "Will Romney lurch to center?"
News Headline: "Can Tea Party maintain clout through election and beyond?"
News Headline: "Do early polls mean anything?"
News Headline: "Is there hope for a third party?"
News Headline: "Is Obama losing the super PAC war?"
News Headline: "Will young voters steal the show in 2012?"
Yes, yes, no, no, no, yes, no.
See how easy?

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The Case for Zero Tolerance of Modern School Administrators:
Memorial High School in Houston, Texas, has named 31 valedictorians.

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News Headline: "India to launch Mars mission."
For those wondering where our next tech support calls will be routed.

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News Headline: "Obama campaign: We won't talk about Romney's Mormonism."

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News Item: ". . . the start of the NATO summit in Chicago. . . ."
News Item: ". . . like multiple rings of a circus. . . ."
News Item: ". . . walking a diplomatic high wire. . . ."
News Item: ". . . NATO juggling act. . . ."
News Item: ". . . amid a carnival atmosphere. . . ."
News Item: ". . . international merry-go-round. . . ."
News Item: ". . . a roller-coaster relationship with. . . ."
We must be having more fun than we thought.
 

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News Headline: "Obama may not make the Arizona ballot for the usual stupid Arizona reasons."
Just the news, please.
Then again, maybe that is the news.

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The Not Me Decade, in Which Everybody Else Is Responsible for Everything, Continues:

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News Headline: "Chicago confident it can handle NATO protesters."
News Headline: "Pre-NATO situation under control: Chicago police."
News Headline: "Police prepare with riot gear and sound cannon."
News Headline: "Protesters brace for confrontations."
Is everyone enjoying the Age of Aquarius so far?

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News Headline: "NATO, SHMATO!"
But at least we have a dialogue started.

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News Item: ". . .  At lunch at the White House with top leaders of the House and Senate, Obama emphasized that he expects a 'serious bipartisan approach' to. . . ."

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