March 19, 2005
John Wingspread Howell

My issue with salary and self worth is a little different. I have made just above or just below six figures for several years. I know that puts me in the top five percent, more or less, but I'm basically still living from paycheck to paycheck. I look at what I'm spending my money on, and it's nothing extravagant. In fact, I'm not living as extravagantly as I used to live years ago on a fraction of this income. Back then, of course, I had perfect credit and could always get another credit card or loan. Eventually that caught up with me and I had to file bankruptcy. Now I limit my use of credit and try to pay as I go for most things, thinking I'm making six figures, I should be able to have a comfortable, upper middle class lifestyle. But at the end of the month, I have just barely managed to tread water. Then I look around and see people I know make significantly less living better than I do. So I ask myself what's wrong with me? Why do I still struggle? How do they manage their money so much better than I? Or are they just living the credit illusion as I used to do?