WBEZ | 5.1 billion http://www.wbez.org/tags/51-billion Latest from WBEZ Chicago Public Radio en How the U.S. Postal Service can make up the $5.1 billion it lost this year http://www.wbez.org/blog/mark-bazer/2011-11-17/how-us-postal-service-can-make-51-billion-it-lost-year-94137 <img typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://llnw.wbez.org/blog/photo/2011-November/2011-11-17/3371759372_d1c7a23b0d.jpg" alt="" /><p><p><img alt="" class="caption" src="http://llnw.wbez.org/blog/insert-image/2011-November/2011-11-17/3371759372_d1c7a23b0d.jpg" style="margin-right: 10px; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; float: left; width: 300px; height: 254px;" title="U.S. Post Office 62536 in Glenarm, IL (Flickr/Randy von Liski)"><i>"The U.S. Postal Service said Tuesday that it lost $5.1 billion in the past year." — <a href="http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hv9pbUPEvHMIYp9HeTwptUJqX1Rw?docId=f23e5c50acda4a2ba6456d1a3c04c467">Associated Press</a></i></p><p>How the U.S. Postal Service can make up the $5.1 billion it lost this year:&nbsp;</p><p>•&nbsp;Raise price of stamps to $5.1 billion for one year. Get one extremely wealthy person in America to send just one letter.</p><p>•&nbsp;Sell&nbsp;<em>The Definitive Map to the Stars’ Homes</em>&nbsp;on street corners in Beverly Hills.</p><p>• Drive efficiency by giving all postal workers e-mail addresses instead of stubbornly making them use U.S. mail to coordinate meetings, exchange files, etc.</p><p>• Cancel mail on Saturdays. Also remove “sleet” from that poem about conditions mail carriers will work in.</p><p>•&nbsp;Don’t let people get away with that "writing DON’T BEND on envelopes" crap. (Note: This won’t save money but may boost morale.)</p><p>•&nbsp;Somehow convince Bed, Bath &amp; Beyond to mail out more 20%-off coupons.</p><p>• Compete with airlines by letting people put themselves in boxes with holes on top and then mail themselves to their destination.</p><p>•&nbsp;Cancel this year’s Postal Service holiday party featuring Led Zeppelin reunion.</p><p>•&nbsp;Set up a meeting with AOL to discuss working together again.</p><p>• Promise same-day delivery. Apologize later.</p><p>•&nbsp;Replace rude woman behind counter at my local post office with rude robot.</p><p>• Eliminate mail carriers. Drop off mail at one person’s house on every block, let people pass mail down the street until everyone gets theirs.&nbsp;</p><p>•&nbsp;Do a better job getting the word out about Sweetest Day.</p><p>•&nbsp;Let people mail weed.</p><p>———</p><p>More ideas to recoup the $5.1 billion? Let me know in the comments.</p></p> Thu, 17 Nov 2011 15:25:00 -0600 http://www.wbez.org/blog/mark-bazer/2011-11-17/how-us-postal-service-can-make-51-billion-it-lost-year-94137