WBEZ | friendship http://www.wbez.org/tags/friendship Latest from WBEZ Chicago Public Radio en The Importance Of Friends And The Difficulty Keeping Them http://www.wbez.org/programs/here-and-now/2015-11-27/importance-friends-and-difficulty-keeping-them-113966 <img typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://llnw.wbez.org//main-images/pinky-swear-624x416.jpg" alt="" /><p><div id="attachment_96731"><img alt="Pinky swear (Pixabay)" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/media.wbur.org/wordpress/11/files/2015/11/pinky-swear-624x416.jpg" style="height: 413px; width: 620px;" title="Friendships have a tendency to change in adulthood – largely because we have less time for them. (Pixabay)" /><p>Friendship is unlike any other relationship in a person&rsquo;s life. It can be difficult to define and may carry different meanings for different people. Two friends may describe the degree of their relationship in totally different ways.</p></div><p>While family bonds are typically considered unconditional, friendships are voluntary and thus subject to being set aside when people enter adulthood&nbsp;and &ldquo;more important&rdquo; events arise.</p><p>Researcher&nbsp;Emily Langan&nbsp;studies friendship. She speaks with&nbsp;<a href="http://hereandnow.wbur.org/2015/11/26/friendship-research-langan" target="_blank"><em>Here &amp; Now&rsquo;s </em></a>Meghna Chakrabarti about its importance in human development and how it changes over time.</p></p> Fri, 27 Nov 2015 11:20:00 -0600 http://www.wbez.org/programs/here-and-now/2015-11-27/importance-friends-and-difficulty-keeping-them-113966 StoryCorps Chicago: Changed by Friendship http://www.wbez.org/series/storycorps/storycorps-chicago-changed-friendship-113879 <img typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://llnw.wbez.org//main-images/Sarah Michaelson and Michael Herzovi.JPG" alt="" /><p><p>A few years ago, Sarah Michaelson went to see a friend perform in an old-fashioned radio show in front of a live audience. During the show, a man in a wheelchair told a story about how he had never had a girlfriend. Sarah was impressed by his performance and approached him after the show.</p><p>Michael Herzovi and Sarah eventually became Facebook friends. The two recently stopped by the StoryCorps booth to talk about the time she asked him out on their first date.</p><p dir="ltr"><em><a href="http://www.storycorps.org">StoryCorps&rsquo; </a>mission is to provide Americans of all backgrounds and beliefs with the opportunity to share, record and preserve their stories. These excerpts, edited by WBEZ, present some of our favorites from the current visit, as well as from previous trips.</em></p><p dir="ltr"><em>This story was recorded in partnership with the&nbsp;<a href="http://reelabilitieschicago.org/" target="_blank">Reel Abilities Film Festival</a>.</em></p><div>&nbsp;</div></p> Fri, 20 Nov 2015 15:01:00 -0600 http://www.wbez.org/series/storycorps/storycorps-chicago-changed-friendship-113879 Friends brought together by chance discuss life's ups and downs http://www.wbez.org/series/storycorps/friends-brought-together-chance-discuss-lifes-ups-and-downs-112131 <img typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://llnw.wbez.org//main-images/StoryCorps 150529 Laura Gabrielle bh.jpg" alt="" /><p><p>Laura Harris and Gabrielle Shubart are strong friends. Schubart, who volunteers with hospice counseling, is in her fifties. Harris is a retired nurse in her seventies. The two struck up a friendship by chance in 2001 and have remained close ever since.</p><p><em>StoryCorps&rsquo; mission is to provide Americans of all backgrounds and beliefs with the opportunity to share, record and preserve their stories. These excerpts, edited by WBEZ, present some of our favorites from the current visit, as well as from previous trips.</em></p></p> Tue, 02 Jun 2015 13:22:00 -0500 http://www.wbez.org/series/storycorps/friends-brought-together-chance-discuss-lifes-ups-and-downs-112131 Parents bond over closing of a Chicago public school http://www.wbez.org/series/storycorps/parents-bond-over-closing-chicago-public-school-112075 <img typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://llnw.wbez.org//main-images/StoryCorps 150521 Jeanette Angela bh.jpg" alt="" /><p><p>In 2013, Chicago Public Schools closed fifty schools as part of a restructuring. When Angela Ross found out her kids&rsquo; elementary school was closing, she could hardly believe it. Then Jeanette Ramann and other parents from a nearby Bronzeville school came to help with the transition. Today, Ross and Ramann are friends and fellow education advocates.</p><p><em>StoryCorps&rsquo; mission is to provide Americans of all backgrounds and beliefs with the opportunity to share, record and preserve their stories. These excerpts, edited by WBEZ, present some of our favorites from the current visit, as well as from previous trips.</em></p><p><em>This story was recorded as part of a collaboration between StoryCorps Chicago and <a href="http://schoolprojectfilm.com">The School Project</a> </em></p><p>&nbsp;</p></p> Fri, 22 May 2015 09:08:00 -0500 http://www.wbez.org/series/storycorps/parents-bond-over-closing-chicago-public-school-112075 Friends describe love's endurance after alcoholic husband's death http://www.wbez.org/series/storycorps/friends-describe-loves-endurance-after-alcoholic-husbands-death-110855 <img typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://llnw.wbez.org//main-images/StoryCorps 140926 Lisa Sophia bh.JPG" alt="" /><p><p>Shortly after the fall of the Berlin Wall - and George H.W. Bush&rsquo;s &ldquo;thousand points of light&rdquo; speech - two young American women became close friends while serving in the Peace Corps in Hungary. Lisa Jurkovic and Sophia Forero were assigned to the same village for their two year stints. And during their stay, Lisa met another Peace Corps volunteer named Nick. Recently, Lisa stopped by the StoryCorps booth to talk with Sophia about the impact Nick had on both of their lives.<br /><br />&ldquo;Didn&rsquo;t you meet him playing volleyball?&rdquo; Sophia asks. &ldquo;Do you remember looking at him and thinking he was kind of cute?&rdquo;<br /><br />&ldquo;Black hair, fabulous green eyes,&rdquo; Lisa says. &ldquo;He was absolutely the life of the party. He was the one who wanted to go out for pizza afterwards. He was the one who gathered everybody together. If somebody felt bad, he made that person feel better. I liked how honest he was, and open, and friendly. He always made sure that I was happy.&rdquo;<br /><br />Lisa and Nick spent every weekend together, travelling by train, to meet one another.<br /><br />&ldquo;When did you realize this person was someone who was going to be special to you?&rdquo; Sophia asks.&nbsp; &ldquo;Two months in,&rdquo; Lisa says.</p><p>&ldquo;Was there anything in Nick&rsquo;s behavior that made you think that the road with Nick might be difficult?&rdquo;</p><p>&ldquo;Nick had a very hard time enjoying anything without drinking.&rdquo;</p><p>&ldquo;When you married him, did you ever imagine that ten years into your marriage he would become more withdrawn or as withdrawn as he became?&rdquo;</p><p>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t believe that anyone sets out in a marriage predicting anything like that. I&rsquo;m 46 now. It&rsquo;s easy to look back. And at 24 the heart wants what the heart wants.&rdquo;</p><p>&ldquo;That&rsquo;s really true, isn&rsquo;t it?&rdquo; Sophia sighs. &ldquo;For the last three years of his life, he was slowly just drinking himself to death.&rdquo;</p><p>&ldquo;It became impossible for him to be in the house,&rdquo; Lisa says. &ldquo;He refused to seek help for eight years. And he was a liability. He was wrecking cars and it couldn&rsquo;t go on.&rdquo;</p><p>Sophia says, &ldquo;And you basically made the decision in order to make sure that your children&hellip;&rdquo;<br />&ldquo;&hellip;were safe,&rdquo; Lisa finishes.</p><p>&ldquo;Do you ever really think about how much courage that took? Are you able to process that?,&rdquo; Sophia asked.</p><p>&ldquo;It had to happen,&rdquo; Lisa responded.</p><p>&ldquo;I know, but do you realize how important it was for your children? He drove me crazy like a brother, but there&rsquo;s a part of me that really loved him,&rdquo; Sophia recalled, &ldquo;And there&rsquo;s a part of me&hellip;I just wanted to shake him and say: Just do this! Why can&rsquo;t you do this?&rdquo;</p><p>&ldquo;Because his pride would not allow it,&rdquo; Lisa says.</p><p>&ldquo;You know that you loved him very much,&rdquo; Sophia says. &ldquo;You know that.&rdquo;</p><p>&ldquo;I still do,&rdquo; Lisa says.</p></p> Thu, 25 Sep 2014 15:09:00 -0500 http://www.wbez.org/series/storycorps/friends-describe-loves-endurance-after-alcoholic-husbands-death-110855 Hepatitis C survivors bond over advocacy work http://www.wbez.org/series/storycorps/hepatitis-c-survivors-bond-over-advocacy-work-110754 <img typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://llnw.wbez.org//main-images/StoryCorps 140822 Alan Lucinda bh.JPG" alt="" /><p><p>In 1988 Lucinda Porter checked into a motel room and took a massive overdose of Tylenol.</p><p>Her organs began to fail and her liver was completely gone. She survived, but she needed blood transfusions. And six weeks later, she started feeling tired.</p><p>Eventually she was diagnosed with non-A, non-B Hepatitis. &ldquo;Hepatitis C didn&rsquo;t even have a name yet. It would be another year before it would,&rdquo; Porter says in this week&rsquo;s StoryCorps. Porter was joined in the Chicago booth by her friend and fellow Hepatitis C survivor Alan Franciscus.</p><p><a href="http://www.cdc.gov/hepatitis/c/cfaq.htm">Hepatitis C</a> has been in the news a lot lately. An expensive new drug called Sovaldi has the potential to cure people of the disease. But the costs are extraordinary, and<a href="http://online.wsj.com/articles/how-illinois-allocates-84-000-drug-for-hepatitis-c-1407114940?mod=rss_Health"> state Medicaid plans are still tyring to figure out how to pay for it.</a></p><p>Both Porter and Franciscus have been cured of the disease, but their experiences offer a window into the effects - both good and bad - that Hepatitis C can have on a person&rsquo;s life.</p><p>Franciscus ran a support group for people living with the disease, and in time he invited Porter to write a monthly column for the group&rsquo;s newsletter. Porter went back to school and became a nurse. And she continued to learn about the disease from Franciscus and others.</p><p>&ldquo;One of the things we hear about Hepatatis C is that there are no symptoms,&rdquo; Franciscus says. &ldquo;Did you have any symptoms?&rdquo;</p><p>&ldquo;I did and I didn&rsquo;t,&rdquo; Porter says. &ldquo;Like many people, you find out what the symptoms are and you find out later. And I think that was why meeting you changed everything because suddenly we were talking about it. And we compared notes and we found out that neither one of us could remember anything, we both had brain fog. &nbsp;And we were both tired&hellip;Everything changed.&rdquo;</p><p>&ldquo;Can you expand on that a little,&rdquo; Franciscus asks, &ldquo;about meeting kindred spirits and people we become so close to?&rdquo;</p><p>&ldquo;I remember one time working in the Tenderloin neighborhood of San Francisco,&rdquo; Porter say. &ldquo;I couldn&rsquo;t do much, because I was a nurse walking around in San Francisco, It wasn&rsquo;t like I had a mobile van with me. I was with other outreach workers. But I got to make a difference for that moment. I got to look in their eyes for that moment.&rdquo;</p><p>&ldquo;And here we are, we&rsquo;re both cured,&rdquo; Porter continues. &ldquo;We both went through treatment and both of us continued to do advocacy while we continued treatment.&rdquo;</p><p>Treatment for Hepatitis C can be variously depressing or agitating, depending on the drugs you&rsquo;re given. Patients often are subject to either rage or malaise. But, Porter says, &ldquo;When I&rsquo;m open, it invites you to share your suffering. And we can carry it together.&rdquo;</p><p>Even though she&rsquo;s cured, Porter says, &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t want to forget the memory of it...and I want to help others.&rdquo;</p><p><iframe frameborder="no" height="450" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/playlists/6250422&amp;color=ff5500&amp;auto_play=false&amp;hide_related=false&amp;show_artwork=true&amp;show_comments=true&amp;show_user=true&amp;show_reposts=false" width="888px"></iframe></p></p> Fri, 05 Sep 2014 09:19:00 -0500 http://www.wbez.org/series/storycorps/hepatitis-c-survivors-bond-over-advocacy-work-110754 Friends bond over grief http://www.wbez.org/series/storycorps/friends-bond-over-grief-110224 <p><p><img alt="" class="image-original_image" src="http://www.wbez.org/system/files/styles/original_image/llo/insert-images/140523%20StoryCorps%20Julie%20Karen.JPG" style="float: left; height: 233px; width: 350px; margin: 5px;" title="Friends Julie Knausenberger and Karen Williams interviewed each other at the Chicago StoryCorps Booth. (Photo courtesy of StoryCorps)" />Julie Knausenberger was ten when her dad died as a by-stander in a drive-by shooting. Years later, her sister died of a heroin overdose.</p><p>Karen Williams&rsquo; dad died of a heart attack just before she turned ten. And her sister died in a car accident.</p><p>The two friends recently interviewed each other at the Chicago StoryCorps Booth and talked about how those deaths allowed them to forge a lasting friendship.</p><p>The first time they met was at a gathering for students of their graduate school in Washington, DC. The night they met, Karen told Julie she was going to meet her deceased sister&rsquo;s best friend. Karen said, &ldquo;Usually when someone&rsquo;s genuinely being friendly and asking questions to get to know your family, I tend to do this apologetic thing where I&rsquo;m like: You&rsquo;re going to ask me these really kind questions and I&rsquo;m going to have to say yep, my father also died&hellip;&rdquo;</p><p>And instead, Julie said, &ldquo;Oh my God! Your sister died too!? Your dad died too?!&rdquo;</p><p>Her sister had recently died and she wanted to know the details of what had happened to Karen&rsquo;s sister and dad. Was it sudden? Were they sick? Was it traumatic?</p><p>Karen was taken aback by the conversation. It was the first time that she could talk to someone openly about their deaths without feeling guilty about bringing the other person down.</p><p>And with that, the two began a friendship that has stood the test of time. They have helped each other along the way with a healthy doses of humor and honesty.<br />&ldquo;You were the first friend I made that really took me as I was and reminded me that I have a lot of cool things to offer to other people,&rdquo; Julie said. &ldquo;I&rsquo;m really glad that we found each other.&rdquo;</p><p>&ldquo;Yeah, I feel really glad that we ended up in the same place at the same time.&rdquo;</p><p><iframe frameborder="no" height="450" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Fplaylists%2F6250422" width="100%"></iframe></p></p> Fri, 23 May 2014 08:05:00 -0500 http://www.wbez.org/series/storycorps/friends-bond-over-grief-110224 The changing Face(book) of friendship http://www.wbez.org/blogs/bez/2012-11/changing-facebook-friendship-103776 <p><div class="image-insert-image "><img alt="" class="image-original_image" src="http://www.wbez.org/system/files/styles/original_image/llo/insert-images/facebook%20grid%20flickr%20dan%20taylor.jpg" style="height: 732px; width: 620px;" title="What does friendship mean in the age of Facebook? (Flickr/Dan Taylor)" /></div><p>Recently, I attended the funeral of a friend I had known for more than 50 years. I went to the funeral out of respect for my old comrade, but also out of respect for the concept of friendship itself.</p><p>I&rsquo;m &ldquo;old school.&rdquo; Calling someone a friend is a big deal to me. In my mind, friendship doesn&rsquo;t simply result from knowing someone. It isn&rsquo;t based on growing up in the same neighborhood, attending the same church or even being college roommates, nor is it the byproduct of working together, singing in the same choir or being someone&rsquo;s regular doubles-partner at the tennis club. You may do all of these activities with people you like. They may be people you sometimes casually refer to as friends, but they are, in fact, acquaintances, people you simply know.</p><p>To me, friendship is about intimacy, trust, mutual caring and responsibility.&nbsp;Calling someone a friend is analogous to telling someone you love them. Both pronouncements should be a mixture of reason, emotions, affection, empathy, simpatico and joy. And the key ingredient, the bonding principle, the social cement for all these attributes and feelings, is time: time spent together getting to know each other, time spent getting to know what you like and dislike about each other. Time enough to decide, &ldquo;OK, now I know a lot about you. And, I know a lot of things that I don&rsquo;t like about you. Yet, I still choose to call you friend.&rdquo;</p><p>In <em>Twentysomethings: Why do Young Adults Seem Stuck?</em>, authors Robin Marantz Henig and Samantha Henig explore some of the pitfalls of social networking and modern friendship. Simply put, they argue that having 500 Facebook friends should not be associated with true friendship. Constant contact can be exciting, efficient, fun, and challenging; but, they argue, creating virtual bonds &ldquo;can&rsquo;t quite take the place of real ones.&rdquo; Real friendship, like dancing, is a more intimate, face-to-face relationship.</p><p>As I said, I&rsquo;m &ldquo;old school&rdquo; when it comes to friendship. Aristotle wrote on a number of topics during his lifetime, including some of his best work on the nature of friendship. I can do no better than leave you with a few of his thoughts:</p><ul><li>&ldquo;What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.&rdquo;</li><li>&ldquo;Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.&rdquo;</li><li>&ldquo;A friend to all is a friend to none.&rdquo;</li><li>&ldquo;The antidote for fifty enemies is one friend.&rdquo;</li><li>&ldquo;Without friends, no one would want to live, even if he had all other goods.&rdquo;</li></ul><p><em>Al Gini is a Professor of Business Ethics and Chairman of the Management Department in the Quinlan School of Business at Loyola University Chicago.</em></p></p> Tue, 27 Nov 2012 05:00:00 -0600 http://www.wbez.org/blogs/bez/2012-11/changing-facebook-friendship-103776 Mission #59 ODE (OWED) TO OUR FRIENDS http://www.wbez.org/blog/mission-amy-kr/mission-59-ode-owed-our-friends <p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>This week's mission begins here...</p> <p><iframe height="390" frameborder="0" width="560" allowfullscreen="" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/6al_aehISgE" type="text/html" class="youtube-player" title="YouTube video player"></iframe></p><p>So now that you've viewed, I have two questions for you:</p><p>a) Isn't friendship, like, the best invention ever?</p><p>b) Who is the &quot;Charise&quot;&nbsp;in your life?</p><p><strong>I now invite you to honor/celebrate a&nbsp;cherished friend(s) by writing him/her a short &quot;ode&quot; in the comment section below. And by ode I mean any form of expression that feels heartfelt and easy enough to do in the confines of our designated digital space. </strong>&nbsp;It could be a&nbsp;sentence...a short poem...a link to a photo...a simple inside-joke message...you name it.</p><p>I will then take each &quot;ode&quot; and put them together in <strong>one big video ode a la mode.</strong>&nbsp; In other words,&nbsp; I'll craft a video comprised of all your friendship shout-outs, and then you all can surprise your buddies with it.</p><p><strong>I'll need your mini odes by Wednesday 5pm CST.<br /></strong></p><p><span style="font-weight: bold;">Then return to this very spot on </span><strong>Thursday afternoon, with your friend(s) in hand, to share the video gift together.</strong></p><p><u><strong>*QUICK RECAP*</strong></u></p><p>SUBMIT&nbsp;FRIENDSHIP&nbsp;ODE&nbsp; in comment section by WEDNESDAY 5PM CST</p><p>RETURN THURSDAY ANYTIME AFTER 2PM CST for friendship video gift</p><p style="padding: 0px; display: block; margin: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none;"><a title="blocked::http://feeds.feedburner.com/amykr" style="color: rgb(0, 51, 153); line-height: 1.2em; text-decoration: none; outline-style: none;" href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/amykr" target="_blank" rel="nofollow"><span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1296509803_2" title="blocked::http://feeds.feedburner.com/amykr" style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none;">CLICK HERE</span></a>&nbsp;to subscribe to/receive Mission Amy K R</p><p style="padding: 0px; display: block; margin: 0px; line-height: 1.2em; outline-style: none;">&nbsp;</p><p>Your pal,</p><p>amy</p><p>&nbsp;</p></p> Mon, 31 Jan 2011 17:54:00 -0600 http://www.wbez.org/blog/mission-amy-kr/mission-59-ode-owed-our-friends Two guns in a gym bag http://www.wbez.org/gscott/2008/08/two-guns-in-a-gym-bag/368 <p>"If you're going to get in with outlaws and write about them, then you've got to be willing to break the law yourself." -- Mark Fleisher (mentor) <a onclick="urchinTracker('/outgoing/www.chicagopublicradio.org/content.aspx?audioID=25808&amp;referer=http://blogs.vocalo.org/wp-admin/edit.php');" href="http://www.chicagopublicradio.org/content.aspx?audioID=25808">D-Bo</a>, a West Side heroin and crack cocaine dealer, hands me an old gym satchel, and starts rapping insistently on Jenny's front door. All morning Jenny's been slamming me with text messages, issuing a frantic series of "911" missives alerting me to her boyfriend's increasingly violent tantrums. Now here I stand next to D-Bo, the two of us here to "evict" Jenny's boyfriend, Darren, a reckless but profitable dealer of heroin and crack cocaine. Jenny and I hatched our "friendship" in a Cicero crackhouse. She's a self-titled "functional crackhead," a former exotic dancer who now works as an executive assistant to a cosmetics tycoon. Every evening, most mornings before work, and all weekend long, Jenny runs the crack circuit, usually traversing the same turf I occupy. She came out of nowhere...few autobiographical details. But she's got money, she smokes crack, she shares her money and drugs, and she helps "dysfunctional addicts" with their daily business. "Money buys love out here," a local dealer named Mike tells me, "and it buys forgiveness." He trusts Jenny, "but only about half as far as I can throw her."<!--break--> Whatever the case, the local gang leader has told me she's all right. When I'm out here on the streets, I defer to him on matters such as this. After all, his blessing is my protective shield. I am, in his eyes, <a href="http://chicagogangs.org/index.php?pr=BLACK_SOULS" target="_blank">a Black Soul</a>. Jenny comes to the door, flings it open dramatically. She's crying. Darren smacked her a few times, I later learn. D-Bo and I enter the house. She's trying to tell us something in confidence, out of Darren's earshot. But we can't make sense of her words. We take her into the bathroom, where all she can manage to say is, "I want him out of here now. And I want my apartment keys and my car keys." Clear enough. D-Bo takes the lead. Out the bathroom, I'm tailing D-Bo to Darren's "business," a bedroom in the apartment set aside for storage and dealing of drugs. Darren's pissed. He doesn't want to leave. He's shouting, pounding the wall. D-Bo's in Darren's face, yelling at him to calm down. He grabs Darren in a half nelson, ushers him to Darren's business room, shoves him in there, tells him to sit the f**k down and shut the f**k up. He comes out to the hallway, where I'm standing, and grabs the gym bag from my hand. When he grabs the bag, I realize what's in there--a heater. A handgun. A piece. A life sentence. When he opens the bag, I see two handguns--a .45 and a .357. D-Bo grabs the bigger gun, and I'm left holding the .357. I see that it's loaded. I zip up the bag. Jenny sees D-Bo enter Darren's room, gun in hand. I'm thinking, "I'm f**ked, we're all f**ked." Jenny darts out the bathroom, her robe coming loose and exposing her body, which is naked from the waist up. She tries to storm the business room to stop D-Bo from hurting Darren, but D-Bo shoves her back into the hallway, where she sees me holding the gym bag sporting some obvious weight, like a pregnant alley cat. Her eyes meet mine, and I can see her next move. Jenny comes at me with hands groping for the bag. She wants the other gun, whose envelopment in the bag she has deduced. I back away while unzipping the bag, pull the gun out, and shove it in the back of my pants. I push her away, throw the bag aside, and guide her into a chair in the kitchen. It all happens in one unpunctuated motion. I'm too close to this situation. I'm just a writer. Why am I here? What am I going to do if D-Bo shoots Darren? I can't stop or even slow the salvo of questions battering my mind. So I focus on Jenny and try to calm her down. She keeps asking for the gun. Together we wonder what's happening in the business room. They've been in there for a while now. Time passes. Jenny's tear storm has passed; she has dressed herself in casual attire; cosmetics have been applied to her face. "What the f**k is goin' on in there?" she asks ... it's a rhetorical question, but she and I communicate almost telepathically with each other that the answer is obvious. Then she says it, "They're getting high...those motherf**kers are getting high together!" Now she's fuming. And beating on the business room door. Long and short of it: D-Bo went in there and tried to calm Darren, who quickly figured out the way to get himself off the hook and buy some extra time here at Jenny's: Get D-Bo high and then give him what he wants. D-Bo has been hurting lately. He lost his previous, lucrative "lick" (illegal money-making endeavor). Darren, knowing all of this, turns D-Bo on to some crack, a "bump" of heroin, and then cuts a deal with D-Bo to distribute Darren's narcotics in exchange for a hefty commission. D-Bo went into the business room with a purpose derived from friendship and love: Evict Darren to protect Jenny. Once in the room, his purpose changed as he discerned a way to satisfy the greater mission of self-preservation and self-advancement. Coming out of the room, D-Bo and Darren appear to be best buddies, long-time friends reunited after years of separation. Jenny's pissed, but D-Bo tells her, "This man really loves you. And he's doing his business. You can't just kick him outta here...he's got clients, he's got his s**t here ... you know, he needs time. But I think you all love each other. You really do. And you can work it out." D-Bo says all of this with a gun in his back pocket and crack and heroin in his front pockets. He says this as Darren's newest employee. We all know what's going on. Money buys love, it buys friendship, it buys forgiveness, and it buys loyalty. Most important of all, though, it buys betrayal. "If you want to understand what's going on with people's relationships on the street," a colleague once told me, "follow the money." <a onclick="urchinTracker('/outgoing/www.chicagopublicradio.org/Content.aspx?audioID=25808&amp;referer=http://blogs.vocalo.org/wp-admin/edit.php');urchinTracker('/outgoing/www.chicagopublicradio.org/Content.aspx?audioID=25808&amp;referer=http://blogs.vocalo.org/wp-admin/edit.php');urchinTracker('/outgoing/www.chicagopublicradio.org/Content.aspx?audioID=25808&amp;referer=http://blogs.vocalo.org/wp-admin/post.php?action=edit&amp;post=368&amp;message=1&amp;_wp_original_http_referer=http%3A%2F%2Fapps.wbez.org%2Fblog%2Fwp-admin%2Fedit.php%3Fpost_status%3Dpending');" href="http://www.chicagopublicradio.org/Content.aspx?audioID=25808">But are "street people" any different from "the rest of us"? </a> Can you take stock of your relationships and honestly say that they nothing to do with the distribution of either material resources (e.g., money, property) or symbolic resources (e.g., reputation, status)? Can you think of a time when you entered a relationship, did something good for someone, betrayed someone and the reason had to do with money?</p> Sun, 03 Aug 2008 12:14:00 -0500 http://www.wbez.org/gscott/2008/08/two-guns-in-a-gym-bag/368