WBEZ | mall santa http://www.wbez.org/tags/mall-santa Latest from WBEZ Chicago Public Radio en Tips for guaranteeing a perfect 'Scared of Santa' photo http://www.wbez.org/blogs/claire-zulkey/2012-12/tips-guaranteeing-perfect-scared-santa-photo-104443 <p><p><span id="internal-source-marker_0.5099058862703227">The best part of Christmas are those hilarious &ldquo;scared of Santa&rdquo; photos&nbsp;<a href="http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/holidaily/sns-holiday-christmas-bad-santa,0,7208347.photogallery">posted on the&nbsp;</a></span><em><a href="http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/holidaily/sns-holiday-christmas-bad-santa,0,7208347.photogallery">Chicago Tribune</a></em><a href="http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/holidaily/sns-holiday-christmas-bad-santa,0,7208347.photogallery"><em>&rsquo;s</em> website</a>. Truth be told, it wouldn&rsquo;t feel like Christmas without a couple dozen photos of terrified children sobbing on strange men&rsquo;s laps. So avoid feeling like a failure this year and turning out a regular boring old photo of your sweet child smiling on a friendly fat guy&rsquo;s knee, here are some tips on how to elicit a surefire winner:</p><br /><div class="image-insert-image "><img alt="" class="image-original_image" src="http://www.wbez.org/system/files/styles/original_image/llo/insert-images/4176024999_7f503c1ce2.jpg" style="float: left; height: 445px; width: 300px;" title="Ho ho ho? (Flickr/Stephen M. Scott)" /></div><ul><li dir="ltr">Try to find a hungover Santa if you can. His dour expression and the bags under his eyes will contribute to a hilarious image.<br />&nbsp;</li><li dir="ltr">Better yet: skinny Santa. What could be worse?<br />&nbsp;</li><li dir="ltr">Dress your child much too warmly for the occasion, and try to find a Santa in extremely high demand. That way, after the hours of waiting in line (don&rsquo;t forget to forget the snacks), your little one will be uncomfortable and miserable.<br />&nbsp;</li><li dir="ltr">Have the big &ldquo;stranger danger&rdquo; chat with your child on the way to meet Santa, but as you wait in line say, &ldquo;Well, Santa&nbsp;probably&nbsp;doesn&rsquo;t want to hurt you.&rdquo;&nbsp;<br />&nbsp;</li><li dir="ltr">Inform your child that Santa&rsquo;s beard is full of earwigs which will crawl into his or her ear and lay thousands of holiday eggs.&nbsp;<br />&nbsp;</li><li dir="ltr">Give your child a long script to recite to Santa and inform him that if he deviates from it, even by one word, Santa will kill your dog. Make sure you give him a lot to drink before you do this and go somewhere where there are no public restrooms in sight.&nbsp;<br />&nbsp;</li><li dir="ltr">Tell your child that you&rsquo;re sorry, but this year Santa has decided that every other child who comes to sit on his knee will be abducted on Christmas Eve and there&rsquo;s no way of knowing which is which.&nbsp;<br />&nbsp;</li><li dir="ltr">If all else fails, give your child a merry little pinch on the upper arm right before he or she goes up for the photo. Ho ho ho and a ha ha ha!</li></ul></p> Tue, 18 Dec 2012 10:00:00 -0600 http://www.wbez.org/blogs/claire-zulkey/2012-12/tips-guaranteeing-perfect-scared-santa-photo-104443