WBEZ | Religion

Evanston prevails over new Jewish boys’ school

Fri, 03 May 2013 09:03:00 -0500

An Orthodox Jewish school has lost a legal battle with the City of Evanston in its bid to open a new learning facility there. In 2006, the Joan Dachs Bais Yaakov Elementary School purchased the former Shure Brothers electronics company building along Evanston’s southwest border. They hoped to renovate the property into a new facility for early child education and for its growing boys’ school, which is currently located in Chicago’s West Ridge neighborhood on the far North Side.

In a ruling this week, Cook County Judge Mary Anne Mason sided with the City of Evanston, which denied the school permission to use the land for anything other than industrial purposes.

“They made a business decision to go ahead and purchase the property, knowing that they still had a number of steps to go through afterwards to secure city approval,” said Grant Farrar, Corporation Counsel for the City of Evanston. “The City of Evanston was concerned about removing this property from the tax rolls.”

Forty percent of Evanston’s land is tax-exempt, owned by religious institutions, universities, and nonprofits. Some Evanston aldermen expressed concern that reclassifying the zoning for the school’s property from light industrial to commercial, which would allow for use as a school, would permanently chip away at an already-diminishing property tax base. Evanston’s industrial sector has thinned during the last several decades.

The board purchased the property for $2 million with knowledge that they would have to secure a change or exception to the zoning rule. They did not include a contingency clause in their purchase that would nullify the purchase if they failed to obtain the zoning -- a precaution that is common in similar cases. Still, representatives of the Joan Dachs Bais Yaakov Elementary School say they intend to fight further by appealing the ruling.

“We continue to believe that that is an ideal property,” said Moshe Davis, president of the school’s board. “We’re looking at all options because we have to make sure that our children are taken care of.”

Odette Yousef is the reporter for WBEZ's North Side Bureau. Follow her @oyousef.

Historic church’s date with wrecking ball may be delayed

Wed, 01 May 2013 09:11:00 -0500

The Archdiocese of Chicago is now saying it doesn’t have a set date to demolish a historic church.

The 133-year old St James Catholic Church was slated for demolition Wednesday. But in a statement, the archdiocese said there are “many ongoing conversations” about preserving the building.

Eileen Quigley, who’s with the group of parishioners fighting to keep the church open called the Friends of St. James, said she was surprised to hear that. She said her group has repeatedly asked the archdiocese for more dialogue, but hasn’t heard back.

“We are hoping that maybe this is a sign that they heard at least part of our call. One part is to stop the demolition, but is not really finished until we can get back in there, we can get them to agree to let us go back in there and pray,” Quigley said.

The parishioners appealed the archdiocese’s decision to tear down the building to the Vatican and are waiting to hear back.

The Archdiocese said the parish remains subject to a court order which prohibits use and occupancy of the structure.

In a recent letter to Peter Borre, a canon law consultant based in Boston who has been working with the Friends of St James, Ald. Robert Fioretti said the city has not asked the archdiocese to demolish the building or to pay fines.

The court case filed by the city was based on an inspection that found several safety issues in the church, which has been closed to worship.

Cardinal George speaks in support of coalition for free water for nonprofits

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 18:03:00 -0500

Cardinal Francis George has joined a large interfaith coalition pushing for free or discounted water for religious institutions.

The coalition, working together since Mayor Rahm Emanuel cut the exemption that gave churches free water in December 2011, is now responding to the mayor’s proposal that would charge nonprofits for water based on their assets. Nonprofits with net assets under $1 million would be exempt from paying for water, while those with more than $250 million in assets would pay the full charge. Those in between would pay a discounted rate.

Cardinal Francis George voiced opposition to the plan, though he was careful in how he addressed his challenge to the mayor:

“As we go forward and people are saying that there has to be some kind of mutual accommodation, I would just like to say that they should look at the budgets and the operating deficits and the savings, much more so than assets,” he said. “If you don’t want a city that only has government institutions, then you have to see to the solvency of religious institutions and other non-profits.”

The Cardinal said he and other religious leaders want to find a middle ground with city officials.

Aldermen that support the coalition proposed a change to restore the water exemption last December, but that’s been stuck in committee.

In a statement, Tom Alexander, the mayor’s deputy communications director, called the asset-based compromise “a fair, reasonable proposal that will allow all non-profit institutions the chance to continue providing their vital community services, while paying their fair share, just as residents do.”

Alexander said the measure is the mayor’s “final proposal” after holding meetings with faith leaders, aldermen and community groups. He said they hope to bring the proposal up at the next City Council meeting.

The Middle East in Turmoil: A Political Economy Analysis

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 11:55:00 -0500

Dr. Khairy Tourk is a professor of Economics at Illinois Institute of Technology. He received his undergraduate degree from Alexandria University, Egypt and his PhD. from the University of California at Berkeley. He is a consultant to the World Bank, IMF and Bank Negara in Malaysia and has held teaching and research positions at top universities in Japan such as The University of Tokyo, Nagoya University and Hitotsubashi University.

A long time observer of the world from within, Dr. Tourk’s present focus is economic modernization in Egypt and the political economies of East Asia with an emphasis on the role played by Japan in the industrialization of its neighbors before and after 1945. Dr. Tourk is a member of the Center for East Asian Studies and the Economic Policy and Public Finance group at the University of Chicago.

Dr. Tourk was born in Alexandria, Egypt and credits the varied richness of his surroundings in his formative years as the driving force behind his life-long passion for comparative studies.

Recorded live Sunday, April 28, 2013 at The Stevenson Center on Democracy.

Reconciling Lives - German-Jewish Dialogue

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 11:33:00 -0500

Chair of the Association of Israelis of Central European Origin, Ambassador (retired) Reuven Merhav gives a keynote address, followed by a panel discussion and presentation of the book “Reconciling Lives”. Panelists include Ambassador Reuven Merhav, author and photographer Alvin Gilens, AJC Chicago Board Member Phil Dunn and German ARSP volunteer Pia Kulhawy, who will discuss the current status and future of German-Jewish Dialogue and Reconciliation.

The Jewish-American author Alvin Gilens presents his new book “Reconciling Lives”. This book features the stories of young German volunteers sent by Action Reconciliation Service for Peace (ARSP) to the US, Great Britain, Czech Republic and Israel, and the relationships they built with Holocaust survivors during a year of service. When Alvin Gilens first learned about ARSP over twenty years ago he found a healing force that moved him deeply. Hearing the powerful stories from German volunteers about their experiences of reconciliation with survivors of Nazi Germany, he recognized that those are stories that must be told.

Recorded live Tuesday, April 23, 2013 at Goethe-Institut Chicago.

This is what Islamophobia looks like

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 04:11:00 -0500

Even before Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was captured last Friday, people have been quick to assign blame for the explosions in Boston, assuaging their fears by holding someone responsible.

After rounding up the usual suspects, like Obama and the homosexuals, the sights were quickly pointed at Muslims. In response The Washington Post’s Max Fisher reported that in the hours following the blasts, Muslims across the world quickly denounced the act, begging those responsible not to be Muslims. Fisher writes,

“Libyan families waved signs in Arabic and English reading ‘Benghazi is against Terrorism,’ ‘Thugs and killers don’t represent Benghazi nor Islam,’ ‘Chris Stevens was a Friend To all Libyans.’...A similar demonstration soon gathered in Tripoli. The tone at both rallies was positive and pro-American, but there was a second, subtler message being sent to the United States: We’re on your side, not theirs.”

The goal was to eschew radicalism by pointing out that “Muslims view ‘Islamic extremists’ the same way most Christians view the Westboro Baptist Church.” However, Muslims abroad and at home were also worried that Islamic involvement would incite the waves of Islamophobic attacks we saw after Park51, the community center in Lower Manhattan, was announced.

They wouldn't have to wait long for an answer. The day after the attack professional Islamophobe Pamela Geller was already trying to pin Boston on Muslims, labelling the act one of violent “jihad.” When @EliClifton attempted to call her out for being a bigot, Geller tweeted back that the “blood [is] on your hands.” According to Geller, anyone who tries to defend Muslims is as responsible as they are.

Sadly, her logic reflected the harsh reality of police profiling after the Boston attacks. A New Yorker article detailed the way one runner’s apartment was torn apart by the FBI while his neighbors watched, helpless to stop it. The man’s body was ripped to shreds by the explosion, a victim like many others that day.

What made him different from the others who were also treated in the hospital? What made him a suspect? He was Saudi.

However, Boston isn’t alone in this. A Salon article from March profiled the recent wave of Islamophobic surveillance in the NYPD police department. A report from the police force, called "Mapping Muslims," indicated that the “harassment and violations of civil liberties are constant facts of life for American Muslims today.” Salon's Falguni A. Sheth calls the program “dangerous, divisive, discriminatory, and deeply oppressive.”

This is the new culture of internment for Muslims. Despite being a citizen, Tsarnaev won’t even be read his Miranda rights, and some are using his citizenship to argue for stricter immigration laws. We are trying to systemically take away the few rights he has as a criminal, those allegedly offered to everyone guilty of a crime in the United States. You can tell a lot about a people by how they treat those they perceive as their enemies.

What does Islamophobia say about us? On Tuesday, a plane departing from Logan Airport in Boston was delayed after two of the passengers began to speak Arabic to each other. The following day, still two days prior to Tsarnaev’s capture, a Bangladeshi man was jumped outside of an Applebee’s and a Palestinian woman was assaulted in Medford, Mass.

While she was walking down the street with her friend, a white man came up to Hema Abolaban, a local physician, and started harassing her. He shouted, “F*** you Muslims! You are terrorists! I hate you! You are involved in the Boston explosions!” He then punched Abolaban and kept insulting her as he walked away.

Abolaban claims that she didn’t say anything back to him, which is understandable. What do you say to someone who believes that you’re capable of unimaginable crimes, including the death of an 8-year-old child, because of the simple fact of your religion? All Americans were Bostonians last week. Why couldn’t that include Muslims?

Every year, as many people are killed by their household furniture as they are by terrorism, but we are not as concerned with the private, death by ottoman. We fear public terror, as fueled by footage of Newtown, Aurora, Hurricane Sandy and the threat of North Korea. In Mao II, Don DeLillo wrote that popular images of terror provide us with “an unremitting mood of catastrophe. This is where we find emotional experience not available elsewhere...We don’t even need catastrophes, necessarily. We only need the reports and predictions and warnings.”

In an essay for The New Yorker, Adam Gopnik echoed DeLillo’s discourse of fear:

“The toxic combination of round-the-clock cable television—does anyone now recall the killer of Gianni Versace, who claimed exactly the same kind of attention then as Dzhokhar Tsarnaev did today?—and an already exaggerated sense of the risk of terrorism turned a horrible story of maiming and death and cruelty into a national epic of fear. What terrorists want is to terrify people; Americans always oblige.”

If the Tzarnaev brothers wanted to scare us, they hit us at the right time, when Americans are particularly vulnerable. We look at Congress’ inability to pass wildly popular gun control laws and feel powerless, the product of a broken system that no longer protects us. Every Boston is an affirmation of cultural pessimism, an empire in slow decline. Terrorists become ciphers for phantom neuroses we dare not name, and due to the role of Islamic extremism in 9/11, Islamophobia acts as the easy emotional shortcut for our feelings of loss.

As a culture, we often focus on the extremists who are destroying the world, rather than the everyday people who are working to make it better — like the countless millions whose thoughts were with the victims in Boston or Kevin James, the Muslim firefighter who was a first responder at Ground Zero. In a tragedy, Mr. Rogers famously advised, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

Patton Oswalt echoed Rogers’ sentiments. Oswalt wrote, “You watch the videos of the carnage, and there are people running towards the destruction to help out.” For Oswalt, it’s a reminder to “look [evil] in the eye and think, ‘The good outnumber you, and we always will.’"

This is how the world begins again — when we remember we aren't alone in it.

Take Marie Roberts. After her husband gunned down five children in an Amish school in 2006, Roberts went to the victims’ families to seek forgiveness and grace. In doing so, Roberts found strangers she learned to call neighbors, families she learned to call friends and a community she could call home again. There was no going back, but in building a bridge over the destruction, their families figured out a way to move forward.

Instead of continuing to hold Muslims responsible, we should ask what what we do if the culprits were "one of us." How would we help? Would we reach out as Muslims have? Would we shut down a city to hold a candlelight vigil, as Tehran did to support Americans after 9/11? Instead of forcing a nation of Muslims to be accountable for two radicals, we must all take responsibility for Boston. Each of us must clean up the mess by working together as a force for good, building a more peaceful, loving world.

Instead of searching for enemies in the wreckage, we need to start creating allies. All around the world, Muslims are standing with us. It’s time to stand with them.

Nico Lang writes about LGBTQ issues in Chicago. You can follow Nico on Facebook, Twitter or Tumblr.

Germans vs. Russians: The Origins of Chicago's Organized Jewish Community 1859-1923

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 10:21:00 -0500

Tobias Brinkmann speaks about Chicago’s Jewish community from the founding of the United Hebrew Relief Association in 1859 to the creation of Jewish Charities of Chicago in 1923, a time when organizations that served “German” (Central European) Jews merged with those that served “Russian” (Eastern European) Jews. Dr. Brinkmann's discussion assessed the highly charged conflicts between established members of the community and more recent immigrants, conflicts that had much to do with social status and assimilation and little to do with actual origins.

Dr. Tobias Brinkmann is Associate Professor of Jewish Studies and History at Penn State University. He is a member of the Academic Council of the American Jewish Historical Society and the Board of the Leo Baeck Institute in London. His most recent publication is Sundays at Sinai: A Jewish Congregation in Chicago.

Recorded live Saturday, April 21, 2013 at Spertus.

Download a PDF of Dr. Brinkmann's presentation below.

A historic Chicago church says good-bye to its bells

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 20:03:00 -0500

Workers took down the bells at St. James Church in Chicago’s Bronzeville neighborhood Wednesday.

The Archdiocese of Chicago plans to demolish the 137-year-old building, despite efforts by the Friends of Historic St. James, a group of parishioners that have been advocating to save the church.

“I think the cold and rainy weather reflects the sadness and tears that many of us have seeing these bells being removed,” said Dave Samber, who’s at the forefront of the advocacy efforts. “This is the beginning of what could very well be an end, but it doesn’t have to be.”

Samber said his group, the Friends of Historic St. James, still has time to reverse the Archdiocese’s decision. Parishioners appealed to the Vatican earlier this month to halt the demolition and to suspend the removal of parochial goods, and are waiting to hear back.

A private real estate developer has said he’s committed to investing $5 million to help restoration efforts.

But the Archdiocese of Chicago said the total cost for restoration is $12 million. In a statement, the Archdiocese said it can’t afford to renovate the building and instead will invest $7 million to build a new church a block away on Michigan Avenue.

“The Archdiocese feels that it would be fiscally irresponsible to renovate the existing building … The new St. James Church will better serve the parish, the parishioners and the community in the future,” the statement said.

According to the Archdiocese, the new St. James Church will seat 500 people. In the meantime, the parish will hold mass in its current parish center, and operate its food pantry, as it’s been doing while the church building has been vacant.

The organ and the bells will be saved for use in other Archdiocesan parishes, a spokeswoman said. Demolition is slated to start May 1.

But Eva Leonard, who’s attended St. James for 30 years, said she won’t let go of her church that easily.

“We are going to move back in there,” Leonard said. ‘Cause this is what we want to do. It’s my only Catholic church; [I] can’t see it torn down, no way.”

Preservation Chicago Board President Ward Miller said he expected to see more dialogue between the Archdiocese and its congregation.

“The Cardinal should have come out with his people, he should have talked to all of us. There just has been dead silence for all of us,” Miller said.

Chicago evangelicals pushing for immigration reform on Capitol Hill, at home

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 19:54:00 -0500

Evangelical leaders from across the country, including many from the Chicago area, are meeting with members of Congress Wednesday to press for immigration reform. Evangelical Protestants have traditionally resisted offering legal status to people who enter the country illegally. So this lobbying effort represents a major shift for some evangelicals, including those close to home in greater Chicago.

Glen Ellyn is an almost picture-perfect Middle American suburb with a commuter train depot smack in the middle of town, tall houses with wide porches and neatly-kept front lawns, and well-equipped playgrounds where mothers push their children on swings at midday.

Not far from the town center is a large, red brick building topped with a white steeple: the Glen Ellyn Evangelical Covenant Church.

The Rev. Mike Langer, the pastor of Spiritual Formation and Outreach, stepped inside the church’s red-carpeted sanctuary, and pointed out the organ alongside a set of drums.

“We are sort of a hybrid of the new and the old,” he said. “You see a traditional old arched ceiling. A professor of mine was fond of saying, ‘If you turn these upside down, it looks like Noah’s Ark, and the theology behind that was that we’re all in here saved and everyone else is drowning.”

Rev. Langer gave a little laugh, then added, “I don’t really like to think of that as the theological framework that we work from.”

He’s trying to convince his largely affluent congregation, which was founded by Swedish immigrants, that changing the law to help today’s immigrants is a moral issue, one worthy of their prayers … and political support.

“I support immigration reform because I think it more reflects our Biblical values than anything we currently have in place,” he said.

That’s why Rev. Langer supports the Evangelical Statement of Principles for Immigration Reform, a document signed by some 200 national evangelical leaders. It calls for keeping families united, and creating a path for citizenship. But the pastors are quick to point out that they aren’t advocating for a general amnesty, and they want stronger, more secure borders.

Evangelicals haven’t always supported these ideas, and still, not all do: Studies show white evangelicals are divided fairly evenly on the issue, and even question why - or whether - their churches should be involved.

“There are folks that I serve communion (to) who strongly disagree with me right here in this church,” Pastor Langer said. “I love them and they love me, and we continue to work with one another.”

His church has just one Latino member. And when that lone member faced deportation after being stopped for a traffic violation, fellow congregation members rallied around him and offered financial help.

“I think the problem is when we don’t have that relationship established with the actual immigrant, it’s easy to sort of scandalize that person, to have the impression that this illegal label is the defining label of this human being,” the pastor said, adding, “That leads to so many misconceptions.”
Matthew Soerens, a former lay minister at the Willow Creek mega-church in the Chicago suburbs, has co-authored a book on the topic: Welcoming the Stranger: Justice, Compassion and Truth in the Immigration Debate.

“Frankly our churches haven’t done a great job of discipling people to respond to issues of immigration in ways that are consistent with Scripture,” Soerens said.

“The Hebrew word for immigrant ... appears in the Old Testament alone 92 times,” he said. “This isn’t one or two verses, this is a consistent theme throughout Scripture.”

The real catalyst for change may be demographics. Latinos represent the fastest-growing group within evangelical churches. A recent Public Religion Research Institute poll shows 60 percent of white evangelicals would support a path to citizenship if immigrants met certain requirements.

But that community is still split. A recent poll by the Pew Research Center found a majority of white Protestant evangelicals consider immigrants a burden, and think they threaten American values.

Given the divide, many evangelical pastors are hesitant to even talk about the subject, Soerens said.

“It’s probably easiest as a pastor to not address this issue because it is controversial and because a certain percentage of any congregation is probably not going to agree with what they hear,” he said. “And that means they might not come back to church, or they might not tithe, or whatever the case may be.”

But the momentum is moving in the other direction. Wednesday, Soerens and other religious leaders spent the day visiting Capitol Hill, meeting with 75 members of Congress, particularly those who are evangelical Christians. They planned to publicly pray for lawmakers by name, and worship into the evening.

“We’ll be asking that God would give these legislators wisdom, to know how to address the challenging circumstances that so many of our immigrant brothers and sisters find themselves in,” Soerens said. “But even more than that, I think our legislators need courage. I have talked to plenty of legislators who, behind the scenes, will tell you they basically know what they need to do, but it’s a politically risky thing.”

Some skeptics have suggested the evangelical push for immigration reform is an attempt to attract more Latinos to the Republican party.

Pastor Langer of the Glen Ellyn church scoffed at that idea, saying he’s never heard it mentioned by religious leaders. He won’t disclose his own party affiliation, except to say he’s not a registered Republican.

“I have no stake in this benefiting the Republican Party, as an evangelical. I have a stake in benefiting the kingdom of God,” he said.

Still, he believes Latinos would become a natural constituency for the Republican Party, if Republicans were viewed as more supportive of reform.

Gay Christian battles tensions in faith community

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 16:52:00 -0500

When most people come out, they roll out their big news slowly. First you tell a few people, dip your toes into the water of public opinion and use loved ones as an emotional litmus test.

But when Brad Allen came out, he went big. He was already out to those who knew him well, but after making the decision to start dating last September, Allen came out on Facebook.

“I’ve never been one to do anything half-assed, ” Allen shrugged over a cup of coffee.

Devoutly religious, Allen shared his coming out story with Facebook friends through an essay on Pastor in Process, a Tumblr about his personal religious journey. Allen's sexuality was a huge component in his understanding of God. Rather than forcing him to turn away from God, he says it brought them closer together. He writes,

“I believe God’s perfect Plan A was that everyone would be heterosexual and marry one opposite-gender spouse and make 2.5 kids with an eternal puppy and fruit from the Trees of the Garden. Most of us did not get Plan A. Some of us got a version of it, but it has been revised a few times. When Plan A isn’t possible because of divorce or war or infertility or homosexuality, does that mean those people are shelved forever because Plan A is unattainable? Quite the contrary, God, in His infinite patience, enters and makes a beautiful Plan B, C, D, or ZZ. He never stops creating beauty from our messes.
“[...] Here I find myself: looking for love, messy as ever, loved by Abba to the point of ridiculousness, and still trying to figure it out. I can’t wait to have a beer with Christ in heaven and talk this out with Him. He’s going to either say “Good job, kiddo. You did the best you could with what you were given. Welcome!” or “Brad, my dear son, you really messed that one up. Welcome!” I hope to see you there listening in on that conversation after I listen in on your conversation with Him over what has troubled you your whole life.
“Those conversations are going to be pretty rad.”

Last month’s Facebook post became a lightning rod for discussion among Allen’s melange of Christian, conservative and gay friends, populations that complement each other as often as they clash.

Allen was unapologetic about his decision to remain a follower of Christ’s teachings, seeking to be “the best gay Christian [he] could be.”

Many applauded Allen. Others argued he’d been led astray. One commenter took Allen to task for “consummating his homosexual desires.”

He wrote, “While I'm proud of you for ‘confessing your sins one to another,’ I also need to call you out...I hope you recognize your sin and remove yourself from that.”

This comment garnered 11 “likes” from Allen’s Facebook friends.

Rather than dismissing his critics, Allen did exactly what a "pastor in process" would do: he engaged them.

“I didn’t cut out the people I disagreed with," he said. I wanted to disagree with them publicly so we could debate. No one’s public mind was changed. But in personal emails, they were extremely encouraged to see the tenor of the conversation unfold."

In that way, Allen succeeded.

“I wanted to get the conversation going amongst other people who would never talk about it,” he said.

Allen grew up in a “religious cult,” where topics like these were never addressed. Until he was 17, Allen lived in a closed community that was “incestuous and weird” but claims it taught him about “how groupthink happens and how massive groups of people can all think the same way.”

In the cult, members were banned from getting shots or wearing jewelry. Even wedding rings were forbidden. Allen wasn’t allowed to wear shorts or short sleeves, which were considered “immodest.”

“It took me five years for to be able to put on shorts without that twinge of being a sin,” he said.

Instead of running away from faith after this radical experience, Allen stayed with the church after leaving the cult. He joined Exodus International, the right-wing Christian organization that preaches gay conversion therapy.

At the time, Allen thought if God wanted him to be straight there must be a cure for his desires. He said it wasn’t the cult that made him want to be perfect. It was God.

“I wasn’t repressed," Allen said. I was trying to change.”

Allen thought Exodus might have the answer.

But he found the reality of Exodus far different from the message it preached.

“Their motto is ‘Change Is Possible,’ but it’s a bait and switch,” Allen stated. “When you get inside the gates, they don’t claim to really change people.”

In addition, it was Exodus’ political orientation that convinced Allen the organization wasn't for him. Allen said,

“Exodus was political for a short time, and I happened to work there during that time. Christ came to be countercultural. We’re not supposed to use the weapons of the world to fight the world. I saw a bunch of Christians who would pray and then go into the most partisan, American-centric, Republican-centric nonsense. This is not what Christianity is about. The fact that they are calling it Christianity is taking God’s name in vain.”

Allen left Exodus to explore the community’s conflicts through ministry. Allen described himself as a “Bar Pastor” and said he found his calling among other gay Christians.

“I saw so much pain from gay people who were religious," he said. "This is a group of people who genuinely need to know the unconditional love of God. I felt like the next manifestation of my calling began to form when I visited gay bars.”

Allen recounted an experience of informally ministering to a man in Denver.

“There was a guy by himself with his phone. We talked to each other for two hours. He was thinking about doing something illegal to make money and was desperate and at the end of his rope. I took him out to his car and prayed for him. It was so beautiful that I believe that that’s what God wants me to do. I am called to be like Jesus, and I get there maybe a seventh of the time. If I can be in a place to love like Christ did, I can be a pastor without ever using religious words.”

Allen says it’s important that the faithful minister to their “gay brethren” and have these sorts of conversations openly or they risk alienating people in harmful ways. He noted the risk of suicide among the queer and religious.

“I was prepared to kill myself before I finally accepted my sexuality and faith," Allen said. "I am just thankful that God saved me from that fate, although others haven’t been so lucky.”

Allen credits gay-affirming congregations like Denver’s A House for All Sinners and All Saints and relationships he’s built with allies with helping him finding a home in the church.

He said it wasn’t just the “unconditional love” of his supporters that saved him but also the “conservative friends who took the time to listen.”

“My friend Dave is older and a self-admitted homophobe and he asked several times to sit down and hear my process so he could grow. He said, ‘Brad, you are my best chance of overcoming my homophobia because I love you so much and I respect your journey. Help me know how to grow.’ I felt more loved by this man than almost anyone.”

Allen says Christianity has so many internal conflicts because there’s always some tension in being human, and as a gay Christian, he lives that tension everyday.

“Some days I do a decent job," he said. "Other days I f*ck it up. Story of my life."

Nico Lang writes about LGBTQ issues in Chicago. You can find Nico on Tumblr, Facebook or Twitter.