WBEZ | The Paper Machete http://www.wbez.org/tags/paper-machete Latest from WBEZ Chicago Public Radio en Come see me at Paper Machete tomorrow http://www.wbez.org/blogs/claire-zulkey/2013-05/come-see-me-paper-machete-tomorrow-107469 <p><p>Tomorrow I&#39;ll be reading at Christopher Piatt&#39;s <a href="http://thepapermacheteshow.com/2013/05/31/61-lineup-summer-kickoff-edition/">Paper Machete</a>, which is one of the first shows I mention when people ask me about the best readings in Chicago. I&#39;m going to discuss pot and Trayvon Martin. No lie. Aren&#39;t you intrigued? Some come down to the historic Green Mill, get your day drink on and enjoy the show!</p><div class="image-insert-image "><img alt="" class="image-original_image" src="http://www.wbez.org/system/files/styles/original_image/llo/insert-images/396306_10150537645499250_1327787318_n.jpg" title="" /></div><p><strong><a href="http://newyork.ucbtheatre.com/shows/view/145">BASSPROV</a><br /><a href="http://www.cdm.depaul.edu/people/pages/facultyinfo.aspx?fid=535">LISA BUSCANI</a><br /><a href="http://www.chrisdoucette.com/comedy/">CHRIS DOUCETTE</a><br />BRAD EINSTEIN<br />CLAIRE MULANEY AND JO SCOTT<br /><a href="http://www.zulkey.com">CLAIRE ZULKEY</a></strong></p><p>Plus cabaret music by <strong>GLAD FANNY</strong> and special musical guests <strong>SOFTWARE GIANT</strong></p><p><em>3 p.m. at the <em>GREEN MILL</em> in Uptown, Free!</em></p></p> Fri, 31 May 2013 13:53:00 -0500 http://www.wbez.org/blogs/claire-zulkey/2013-05/come-see-me-paper-machete-tomorrow-107469 What exactly is the Tribune asking us to pay for? http://www.wbez.org/blogs/onstagebackstage/2012-11/what-exactly-tribune-asking-us-pay-103747 <p><p><img alt="" class="image-original_image" src="http://www.wbez.org/system/files/styles/original_image/llo/insert-images/tribune%20paywall.jpg" style="height: 331px; width: 300px; float: left; " title="" />When the&nbsp;<em>Chicago Tribune</em>&#39;s paywall went up last week,&nbsp;Bill Adee,&nbsp;Vice President for digital development and operations <a href="http://www.wbez.org/sections/media/chicago-tribune-launches-paywall-103602">said there</a>&nbsp;was a great deal of Trib content &quot;worth paying for,&quot; like &quot;Chris Jones on theater, David Hall on sports, [and] Pulitzer Prize winner Mary Schmich.&quot;</p><p>But writer Coya Paz says that, &quot;With the exception of theatre reviews, I never read the <em>Tribune </em>when it was free, so it&rsquo;s hard to imagine I&rsquo;d pay for access now.&quot; Read an excerpt of her thoughts below or listen above:&nbsp;</p><p><em>When I was a teenager, living in a depressing strip mall suburb, I spent a lot of time imagining what my life would be like when I grew up. I would live in glamorous metropolis, in a giant loft apartment with no furniture except for a giant mattress in the middle of the floor. After wild nights out with my fabulous but tortured artist friends, I would wake up in bed with my impossibly hot lover and we would lie around for hours, drinking coffee, eating croissants and reading the newspaper. This seemed the height of sophisticated adult living: coffee and newspapers.</em></p><p><em>Now that I am an actual adult, I live in Humboldt Park, in a tiny, two-bedroom apartment cluttered with Ikea furniture and my three-year-old&#39;s plastic toys. I have no wild nights out with fabulous friends, though I do stay up late reading tortured Facebook statuses. In the morning, I eat a sensible, low-fat, high-protein breakfast and drink my coffee in the bathroom while I simultaneously try to put on mascara and brush my child&rsquo;s teeth. Every now and then my partner whizzes by, waves her iPad in front of my face and asks, &quot;Did you see this?&rdquo; pointing to some item of interest she found on </em>Buzzfeed <em>or </em>Pulse<em>. </em></p><p><em>I get the rest of my news on the radio or from Twitter, scanning 140 character headlines and clicking through to the full article when I have a minute. Despite all this, I feel pretty well informed. </em>Glamour Magazine<em> sends me a weekly email letting me know which nail polishes work best with current trends. </em><a href="http://gozamos.com/">Gozamos</a> <em>sends me a daily email letting me know about Latino-oriented arts and culture events happening near my &lsquo;hood. </em>Poets.org<em> sends me two poems a day, the </em>New York Times<em> sends me book and movie reviews and President Obama sends me hourly updates on how much money Mitt Romney has raised.</em></p><p><em>So when I heard the news that, as of October 31<sup>st</sup>, the </em>Chicago Tribune <em>will be charging $14.99 to access its online site, I was very surprised. Was there really a market for this? Like really, really, really, really? </em>The New York Times<em> is one thing, but the </em>Tribune<em>? Are people that loyal to their particular brand of commentary that they&rsquo;ll pay $14.99 a month for it? </em></p><p><em>It seems&hellip; steep. I mean, I&rsquo;m not opposed to paying for things I value, even when I could get them for free. I give money to </em>WBEZ <em>and I never even ask for the thank you gift, mostly because I think the last thing I want to be is one of those people who are carrying a public radio tote bag, like, &quot;Look at me, I&rsquo;m a liberal!&quot; I pay for MP3s instead of just having my DJ friends send me songs through Dropbox. And whenever a tip jar goes around, I&rsquo;ll throw a few bucks in, you know, just to be decent. </em></p><p><em>I&rsquo;m not opposed to subscribing to things either. I subscribe to dozens of magazines;&nbsp;</em>Lucky Magazine<em>, </em>Real Simple<em>, </em>Fast Company<em>, </em>New York Magazine<em>,</em> US Weekly<em>, </em>American Theatre Magazine<em>&nbsp;and</em> Natural Living<em>. I love holding a magazine in my hand, turning the pages, flipping back to a previous article to doublecheck something&nbsp;</em><em>&ndash;</em><em>&nbsp;lip gloss color, I don&#39;t know. Even when I don&rsquo;t have time to read magazines, I like having them around because it holds the promise of having time to read all those magazines. And best of all, I like passing them on to other people when I&rsquo;m done, getting a dog eared glossy in exchange. </em></p><p><em>Online access just isn&rsquo;t the same. . . .</em></p><p><a href="http://thepapermacheteshow.com/" target="_blank">The Paper Machete</a>&nbsp;<em>is a weekly live magazine at the Horseshoe in North Center. It&#39;s always at 3 p.m., it&#39;s always on Saturday, and it&#39;s always free. Get all your&nbsp;</em>The Paper Machete Radio Magazine&nbsp;<em>needs filled&nbsp;<a href="http://www.wbez.org/tags/paper-machete" target="_blank">here</a>, or download the podcast from iTunes&nbsp;<a href="http://itunes.apple.com/podcast/the-paper-machete-radio-magazine/id450280345" target="_blank">here</a>.</em></p></p> Thu, 08 Nov 2012 09:53:00 -0600 http://www.wbez.org/blogs/onstagebackstage/2012-11/what-exactly-tribune-asking-us-pay-103747 What is America most afraid of? Carousels, high schools and our own children http://www.wbez.org/blogs/onstagebackstage/2012-10/what-america-most-afraid-carousels-high-schools-and-our-own-children <img typeof="foaf:Image" src="http://llnw.wbez.org/main-images/silent hill carousel.jpg" alt="" /><p><p style="text-align: center; "><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/f06VJSsh8II" width="560"></iframe></p><p>Dana Norris, the&nbsp;founder and host of&nbsp;<a href="http://www.storyclubchicago.com/" target="_blank" title="">Story Club</a>, reviewed&nbsp;<em>Silent Hill 3D</em>,&nbsp;<em>Paranormal Activity</em> and <em>Sinister </em>for Halloween. What did she learn? In 2012, America has been the most afraid of moving to a new house or town, carousels and our own children, among other things.</p><p>Read an excerpt below, or listen above:</p><p><em>I hate horror movies because I don&rsquo;t need them. I know that other people get a delicious thrill from being scared but that&#39;s only because they&rsquo;re not normally scared, but I start out scared. I wake up every morning and walk to the &quot;L&quot; thinking,&ldquo;Is someone going to hit me in the back of the head with a brick?&rdquo;&nbsp;<br /><br />But I think that horror movies are important. Maybe they show us something about ourselves, what we all, as a culture, are most afraid of. I don&#39;t know for sure because I absolutely refuse to watch horror movies. But I wanted to investigate&nbsp;this theory further, so instead of watching the horror movies currently in theaters, I just watched the trailers with the sound off. This is what I found:</em></p><p><strong>Silent Hill 3D</strong><br /><br /><em>A girl with a mid-&#39;90s Meg Ryan haircut moves to a new town. Now, we all know that we should never, ever move to new towns because new towns are where the Devil lives. This town has an idyllic-looking high school, and then we smash cut to some dude WITHOUT A FACE and then we smash cut to a little girl with black eyes who makes snow tornadoes behind her, which seems to me more like an X-Men thing than a horror movie thing to me, but that&#39;s just me.<br /><br />So Meg-Ryan-haircut, she&#39;s a teenager and she lives with her Dad who&#39;s played by Sean Bean, the guy who plays both Boromir in&nbsp;</em>Lord of the Rings&nbsp;<em>and Edward Stark in&nbsp;</em>Game of Thrones<em>&nbsp;so you know he is going to die before the movie ends, so, spoiler, sorry. And then the teenage girl&#39;s boyfriend is the guy who plays Jon Snow in&nbsp;</em>Game of Thrones<em>&nbsp;and I&rsquo;m like: Did the Khaleesi direct this movie?&nbsp;&nbsp;<br /><br />Anyway, Meg-Ryan-haircut keeps having dreams that she&rsquo;s in some sort of devil basement and &ndash; oh no, a door handle is jiggling, that is not good. And then Edward Stark is kidnapped cause that&rsquo;s what he does. And there&rsquo;s a message on the wall in &ndash; blood? It&rsquo;s too dark to be blood. Tar? Tar&#39;s the worst, it&#39;s so hard to clean up &ndash; telling her to go to Silent Hill. And then Jon Snow gets kidnapped too, so Meg-Ryan-haircut has to go to Silent Hill to get the cast of&nbsp;</em>Game of Thrones<em>&nbsp;back. And then there&rsquo;s this like, guy crawling towards her who is MADE OF SPIDERS and you guys, I close my eyes and that is all I see now. And then there&rsquo;s a carnival? And Edward Stark is forced to work there by the Devil? And Meg-Ryan-haircut is on a carousel and it&rsquo;s on fire? And then it&#39;s over, so maybe it makes more sense in 3D, I don&#39;t know. I&#39;m giving it. . . </em><em>two stars.&nbsp;</em></p><p><a href="http://thepapermacheteshow.com/" target="_blank">The Paper Machete</a><em>&nbsp;is a weekly live magazine at the Horseshoe in North Center. It&#39;s always at 3 p.m., it&#39;s always on Saturday, and it&#39;s always free. Get all your</em>&nbsp;The Paper Machete Radio Magazine<em>&nbsp;needs filled&nbsp;<a href="http://www.wbez.org/tags/paper-machete" target="_blank">here</a>, or download the podcast from iTunes&nbsp;<a href="http://itunes.apple.com/podcast/the-paper-machete-radio-magazine/id450280345" target="_blank">here</a>.</em></p></p> Wed, 31 Oct 2012 05:00:00 -0500 http://www.wbez.org/blogs/onstagebackstage/2012-10/what-america-most-afraid-carousels-high-schools-and-our-own-children Top Halloween costumes for 2012: Southwest Airlines flight attendant, sexy Mitt Romney and cat costume for a dog http://www.wbez.org/blogs/onstagebackstage/2012-10/top-halloween-costumes-2012-southwest-airlines-flight-attendant-sexy <p><p><img alt="" class="image-original_image" src="http://www.wbez.org/system/files/styles/original_image/llo/insert-images/8064372566_d435561798_z.jpg" style="float: left; height: 270px; width: 300px; " title="Zombie Mitt Romney. (Flickr/Bob Jagendorf)" />Stuck trying to figure out what to be for Halloween? Don&#39;t <a href="http://thestir.cafemom.com/beauty_style/145296/how_to_make_your_own">want to try being a binder full of women</a>? Reading at&nbsp;<em>The Paper Machete</em>, comedian Ken Barnard has some ideas for you.</p><p>Read an excerpt below or listen to more picks above:</p><p><em>All Hallows Eve is almost upon us, and the only thing more embarrassing than showing up to a Halloween party without a costume is showing up with a costume that someone is already wearing. So I&#39;ve taken all of the guesswork out of Devil&#39;s Night for you guys this year and researched the top costumes of 2012.</em></p><p><strong><em>Top Scary Costumes</em></strong></p><p><em>1) Devil</em></p><p><em>2) Southwest Airlines flight attendant<br />3) Penn State Defensive Coordinator<br />4) Scary Spider-Man<br />5) President-elect Mitt Romney<br /><br /><strong>Top Pet Costumes</strong><br />1) Cat costume (for a dog)<br />2) Dog costume (for a cat)<br />3) Dog costume (for a dog)<br />4) Spider-Man dog<br />5) Dog in a cage on top of a car<br /><br /><strong>Top Plus-size Costumes</strong><br />1) Bulging Hulk<br />2) Fat Ninja<br />3) Overweight Spider-Man<br />4) Diabetic Pirate<br />5) Gluttonous Devil<br /><br /><strong>Top Halloween T-shirts</strong><br />1) This is my costume.<br />2) My other costume is an actual costume.<br />3) This isn&rsquo;t my costume.<br />4) My child is an honor student at Elm Street Elementary. Tonight my child is also a zombie.<br />5) A shirt that says Spider-man on it.<br /><br /><strong>Top costumes for Women</strong><br />1) Cat Woman<br />2) Spider-Man Woman<br />3) Cowgirl<br />4) Witch<br />5) Michele Obama<br /><br /><strong>Top Sexy costumes for Women</strong><br />1) Sexy Pirate<br />2) Sexy Slut<br />2) Slutty slut<br />3) Skanky skank<br />4) Witch<br />5) Slutty Michele Obama<br />6) Michael Jackson<br /><br /><strong>Top Sexy Costumes for Men</strong><br />1.) Sexy Construction Worker<br />2.) Sexy Butcher<br />3.) Sexy Baseball Fan<br />4.) Sexy Pool Boy<br />5.) Sexy Mitt Romney<br /><br /><strong>Top Costumes for Elderly</strong><br />1) Good driver<br />2) Grandma<br />3) Spider Old Man<br />4) Slutty old person<br />5) Hobo &nbsp;<br /><br /><strong>Top Costumes for Kids</strong><br />1) Spoiled brat<br />2) Angry Bird<br />3) Spider-Man<br />4) Orphan<br /><br /><strong>Top Scariest Costumes for Kids</strong><br />1) American child<br />2) Terrorist<br />3) Muslim<br />2) Muslim terrorist<br />3) Spider-Man boy<br /><br /><strong>Top Costumes for Teenagers</strong><br />1) Disinterested young adult<br />2) Spider-Man<br />3) Skateboarding sh*t head<br />4) John Mayer<br />5) Angry bird<br /><br /><strong>Top Costumes for Insecure Teenage Boys</strong><br />1) Football player<br /><br /><strong>Top 10 Costumes for 47-year-old Divorced Men</strong><br />1) Creeper<br />2) P*** hound<br />3) Corvette owner<br />4) Alcoholic<br />5) Depressed Spider-Man<br /><br /><strong>Top Baby Costumes</strong><br />1) Ugly baby<br />2) Anne Geddes model<br />3) Still born baby<br />4) Opposite sex baby<br />5) Orphan (leave baby somewhere)<br />6) $235,000 (cost of a child - not including college.)<br />7) Oprah<br /><br /><strong>Top Michael Costumes</strong><br />1) Michael Myers<br />2) Michael Jackson<br />3) Michael Clarke Duncan<br />4) Zombie Michael Clarke Duncan<br />5) Michael McDonald<br /><br /><strong>Top Racist Costumes</strong><br />1) Black face<br />2) Yellow face<br />3) Zombie face<br />4) Amazing Race<br />5) Cold Case<br />6) Without a Trace<br /><br /><strong>Top Zombie Costumes</strong><br />1) Zombie Bruce Jenner<br />1) Zombie Obama<br />2) Zombie Romney<br />3) Sexy Zombie Romney<br />4) Rob Romney Zombie<br />5) White Zombie Romney<br />6) Romney Zombie Baseball Glove<br />7) Zombie Tagg Romney<br />8) Zombie Ben Romney<br />9) Josh Romney Zombie<br />10) Matt Zombie Romney<br />11) Craig Romeny Zombie<br />13) Breast Cancer Awareness Zombie Romney<br />14) Trigg Zombie<br />15) Zombie Romney Bo Bomney Banana Fanan Rob Zombie Me My Mo Momney Zombie Romney<br /><br /><strong>Top Spider-Man costumes</strong><br />1) Spider-Man<br />2) Sexy Spider-Man<br />3) Transgender Spider-Man<br />4) Zombie Spider-Man<br />5) Zombie Romney Spider-Man</em></p><p><em>So after all of this research, I&rsquo;ve decided to not dress up at all this year. Because I&rsquo;m Mormon.</em></p><p><a href="http://thepapermacheteshow.com/" target="_blank">The Paper Machete</a>&nbsp;<em>is a weekly live magazine at the Horseshoe in North Center. It&#39;s always at 3 p.m., it&#39;s always on Saturday, and it&#39;s always free. Get all your&nbsp;</em>The Paper Machete Radio Magazine&nbsp;<em>needs filled&nbsp;<a href="http://www.wbez.org/tags/paper-machete" target="_blank">here</a>, or download the podcast from iTunes&nbsp;<a href="http://itunes.apple.com/podcast/the-paper-machete-radio-magazine/id450280345" target="_blank">here</a>.</em></p></p> Thu, 25 Oct 2012 05:00:00 -0500 http://www.wbez.org/blogs/onstagebackstage/2012-10/top-halloween-costumes-2012-southwest-airlines-flight-attendant-sexy What Mitt Romney and President Barack Obama can learn from television http://www.wbez.org/blogs/onstagebackstage/2012-10/what-mitt-romney-and-president-barack-obama-can-learn-television <p><p><img alt="" class="image-original_image" src="http://www.wbez.org/system/files/styles/original_image/llo/insert-images/romney-2012-cleareyesbracelet.jpg" style="float: right; height: 300px; width: 300px; " title="(Photo from store.mittromney.com)" />Being the leader of the free world doesn&#39;t leave a lot of free time, but President&#39;s still manage to participate in the great American past time of plopping down in front of the television and being whisked away to a fantasy land.</p><p>Along those lines,&nbsp;&quot;I think it&#39;s pretty funny that Barack Obama loves combating terror so much that even when he goes home at night, he watches a show about it,&quot; said <em>New York</em> magazine television critic Margaret Lyons at <em>The Paper Machete</em>, on the President&#39;s admitted love of Showtime&#39;s <em>Homeland</em>. However, Lyons thinks Mitt Romney might want to&nbsp;check out <em>Parenthood </em>to &quot;examine his white privilege.&quot; And both candidates should reevaluate their love for <em>Modern Family</em>, because &quot;I&nbsp;hope they don&#39;t think that&#39;s an average family.&quot;</p><p>Read an excerpt below or listen above:</p><p><em>Mitt Romney came under fire[last week] for co-opting the </em>Friday Night Lights<em> slogan &quot;Clear eyes, full hearts, can&#39;t lose.&quot; If you&#39;ve ever watched </em>Friday Night Lights <em>you know that it&#39;s completely antithetical to everything Mitt Romney represents. And another person who knows that that&#39;s true is </em><a href="http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/thr-esq/friday-night-lights-creator-accuses-378606">Friday Night Lights</a><em><a href="http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/thr-esq/friday-night-lights-creator-accuses-378606">&#39; creator and executive producer Peter Berg</a>, who came up with the motto &quot;Clear eyes, full hearts, can&#39;t lose&quot; and wrote a letter to Mitt Romney this week begging him to stop using it.</em></p><p><em>In the letter, Berg compared Mitt Romney to one and only one character in the show, Buddy Garrity, who is like the weird gregarious villain of the series; he&#39;s a car salesman who cheats on his wife and is horrible.</em></p><p><em>But it made me think a lot about what </em>Friday Night Lights<em> can teach us, and what lessons I wish Mitt Romney could have learned from watching </em>Friday Night Lights<em>. The whole show centers on coach and in the first few seasons, they live and teach in Dillon. The football team gets a huge fancy stadium and they have a jumbotron and they travel on luxurious buses, even though they&#39;re high school students. And all of that is supported by Buddy Garrity and his team of Panther boosters. It&#39;s all privately funded and great! </em></p><p><em>Mrs. Coach, in the first few seasons, is the school guidance counselor, and she&#39;s unable to provide services to a lot of her students who are poor because the school is publicly funded.&nbsp;</em><em>So this tells us that when people get to donate their money to whoever they want, they might get to donate it to football jumbotrons; they probably will not donate it to drug counseling available to late literacy learners in high school.</em></p><p>Friday Night Lights<em> focuses on the idea of group responsibility: no one of us is more important than the team. That&#39;s the message of Smash Williams, who is a great football player, but he&#39;s not better by himself, he needs everyone. That&#39;s the message of QB1 Matt Saracen, the hero of our show, who grows from nerd to quarterback with the help and guidance of those around him.</em></p><p><em>If anyone seems like Mitt Romney on </em>Friday Night Lights<em>, it&#39;s probably JD McCoy. He&#39;s the evil dad of the sad quarterback who&#39;s a jerk (because of his evil dad he becomes a jerk. I think that&#39;s how the world works, I&#39;m pretty sure. Also he looks exactly like Mitt Romney).</em></p><p><a href="http://thepapermacheteshow.com/" target="_blank">The Paper Machete</a>&nbsp;<em>is a weekly live magazine at the Horseshoe in North Center. It&#39;s always at 3 pm., it&#39;s always on Saturday, and it&#39;s always free. Get all your&nbsp;</em>The Paper Machete Radio Magazine&nbsp;<em>needs filled&nbsp;<a href="http://www.wbez.org/tags/paper-machete" target="_blank">here</a>, or download the podcast from iTunes&nbsp;<a href="http://itunes.apple.com/podcast/the-paper-machete-radio-magazine/id450280345" target="_blank">here</a>.</em></p></p> Wed, 24 Oct 2012 08:00:00 -0500 http://www.wbez.org/blogs/onstagebackstage/2012-10/what-mitt-romney-and-president-barack-obama-can-learn-television A memo to Chicago men: Wear more suits http://www.wbez.org/blogs/onstagebackstage/2012-10/memo-chicago-men-wear-more-suits-103232 <p><p><img alt="" class="image-original_image" src="http://www.wbez.org/system/files/styles/original_image/llo/insert-images/5915842997_a3386c09a8_z.jpg" style="height: 225px; width: 300px; float: left; " title="(Flickr/Greg Wass)" />&quot;We may not be able to topple New York with it&rsquo;s prominence as a port of textiles and trade. We may not be able to overshadow L.A.&rsquo;s fashion scene with its scientifically and artificially enhanced people and superstars,&quot; said writer <a href="http://shannoncason.com/">Shannon Cason</a> at a special <em>Paper Machete</em> at the Green Mill. But he has one idea to spice up Chicago: The men should wear more suits. Read an excerpt below or listen above:&nbsp;</p><p><em>New York has Fashion Week, a week-long extravaganza, sponsored by Mercedes-Benz, showcasing the world&rsquo;s top design house selections for the upcoming season. Chicago has Fashion Focus, a week-long celebration in its eighth year highlighting Chicago&rsquo;s thriving fashion industry, sponsored by Dunkin Donuts. (Naw...it&rsquo;s not sponsored by Dunkin Donuts...I said that to be funny.)</em></p><p><em>But Chicago has lagged behind other major cities on the fashion-conscious index. In a recent </em>Huffington Post <em>ranking of The Most Fashionable Cities, Chicago placed 6th. Not bad, but behind: New York; Los Angeles; Irvine, California; Miami; and Dallas. </em></p><p><em>F***ing Dallas man . . . I didn&rsquo;t know cowboys were so stylish!</em></p><p><em>In an effort to increase Chicago&rsquo;s standings among the stylish cities of the United States, I propose an initiative that Chicago&rsquo;s men: Wear More Suits. The style consciousness of a city doesn&rsquo;t lie in the will of that city&rsquo;s women. The responsibility is in the hands of the city&rsquo;s men.</em></p><p><em>Women are beautiful. New York women, L.A. women, Miami women, even Dallas women, and Chicago women&nbsp;</em><em>&mdash;&nbsp;</em><em>finest women on the terra firma (I can&rsquo;t include mermaids because I haven&rsquo;t seen one yet&nbsp;</em><em>&mdash;</em><em>&nbsp;in all fairness). But there&rsquo;s something about a Midwest woman that represents a woman the way she was meant to be: Her curves, her down-to-earth sensibilities. The way she covers herself in the winter months and slowly sheds layers (and layers . . . and layers) and shows her skin for the short summer season. I&rsquo;m getting myself aroused up here. . . .</em></p><p><em>The men are responsible for our dismal ranking. It&rsquo;s our flip-flops, and our ill-fitted pants, our f***ing ironic tee-shirts and our f***ing hoodies. Everyone has to wear a f***ing hoodie. I&rsquo;ve counted 30 men in this room and I&rsquo;ve counted 25 of them wearing f***ing hoodies. The other five are just showing off their ironic tee-shirts. But the women&nbsp;</em><em>&mdash;&nbsp;</em><em>you guys are gorgeous. And this isn&rsquo;t just an attempt from me to get more women. . . well, you guys really </em>are<em> gorgeous. . . .&nbsp;</em></p><p><a href="http://thepapermacheteshow.com/" target="_blank">The Paper Machete</a>&nbsp;<em>is a weekly live magazine at the Horseshoe in North Center. It&#39;s always at 3 pm., it&#39;s always on Saturday, and it&#39;s always free. Get all your</em>&nbsp;The Paper Machete Radio Magazine<em>&nbsp;needs filled&nbsp;<a href="http://www.wbez.org/tags/paper-machete" target="_blank">here</a>, or download the podcast from iTunes&nbsp;<a href="http://itunes.apple.com/podcast/the-paper-machete-radio-magazine/id450280345" target="_blank">here</a>.</em></p></p> Fri, 19 Oct 2012 05:00:00 -0500 http://www.wbez.org/blogs/onstagebackstage/2012-10/memo-chicago-men-wear-more-suits-103232 Are the terrible things we say online only terrible in repetition? http://www.wbez.org/blogs/onstagebackstage/2012-10/are-terrible-things-we-say-online-only-terrible-repetition-103231 <p><p><img alt="" class="image-original_image" src="http://www.wbez.org/system/files/styles/original_image/llo/insert-images/fox%20news.jpg" style="float: right; height: 268px; width: 300px; " title="(Screenshot via Gawker)" />&ldquo;You know, you wait for the end of these things, and then you worry about how they may end,&rdquo;<a href="http://observer.com/2012/09/breaking-fox-news-airs-live-suicide-of-carjacker-video/"> said FOX News&#39; Shepard Smith </a>as the network chose to air a clip of a carjacker committing suicide by shooting himself in the head. Smith quickly apologized for the choice, saying, &quot;And we really messed up. And we&#39;re all very sorry. That didn&#39;t belong on TV.&quot;</p><p>The incident inspired writer <a href="http://ourmaninchicago.net">Scott Smith</a>. At a special <em>Paper Machete</em> at the Green Mill, he mused: &quot;Maybe, in an unexpected way, there isn&rsquo;t any harm in Gawker or Buzzfeed airing a clip of a guy killing himself when in our current media landscape these incidents aren&#39;t really worth the import they&rsquo;re given. They only seem that way because they&#39;re everywhere now. Something isn&rsquo;t just said, it&rsquo;s retweeted, maybe hundreds of times, and that amplification gives it an undeserved status as a topic worth discussing. And then a week later we wonder why we were so mad.&quot;</p><p>Read an excerpt or listen below:</p><p><em>Does it seem weird to anyone else that we&rsquo;re no longer talking about how the highest-rated cable news channel in America broadcast a live suicide?</em></p><p><em>(It gets funnier, don&#39;t worry.) </em></p><p><em>I know, it happened over</em> two weeks ago<em> and with the speed at which news operates it&rsquo;s like I&rsquo;m pestering you about something that happened during the Taft administration. And sure, it seems like it was an honest mistake but where was . . . the processing? The part where we as a society collectively feel remorse for something like this that happens and examine How We Got Here, that part was just . . . missing. It was as if we got really sh**canned the night before but we&rsquo;re somehow able to get up the next morning and run a triathalon. All of the whippets but none of the headache. Whatever concerns we might have had about how our insatiable thirst for destructive acts led us&nbsp;</em><em>&mdash;</em><em>&nbsp;even inadvertently</em><em>&nbsp;</em><em>&mdash;&nbsp;</em><em>to witness a live suicide were gone once the next episode of </em>Here Comes Honey Boo Boo<em> aired. (Because if that&rsquo;s not a show about people killing themselves</em><em>&nbsp;</em><em>&mdash;</em><em>&nbsp;albeit very, very slowly</em><em>&nbsp;</em><em>&mdash;&nbsp;</em><em>I don&rsquo;t know what is.) </em></p><p><em>I had my thinking on this retroactively confirmed when I went back and read <a href="http://gawker.com/5947440">a post Gawker&rsquo;s Hamilton Nolan wrote</a> about how terrible it was that Fox News was running live car chases in the first place, and how they were &ldquo;mayhem porn&rdquo; and what did they expect would happen? Of course, all of this would have had more impact <a href="http://gawker.com/5947427/fox-just-aired-a-live-broadcast-of-a-car-chase-that-ended-with-a-suicide">if Gawker hadn&rsquo;t posted</a> the unedited suicide clip itself some 45 minutes before. <a href="http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2012/09/05/804051/clinton-medicare-ryan-lies/">As the Big Dog says</a>, it takes some brass to attack a guy for doing what you did. Nolan&rsquo;s justification for airing the clip was as follows &ldquo;When we heard that Fox News had aired a suicide, what was the first thing we all did? Search on the internet for the clip. The clip is news.&rdquo; </em></p><p><em>I invite all of you to review your own Internet search history to determine what </em>you <em>think of as news. </em></p><p><em>(You thought about it, didn&#39;t you?)</em></p><p><em>Gawker&rsquo;s misunderstanding is really very simple: The news is not that this suicide happened</em><em>&nbsp;</em><em>&mdash;&nbsp;</em><em>as Gawker pointed out, an unhappy ending to a car chase is almost the point of airing it in the first place. No, the news is the context in which it occurred. But that&rsquo;s the part of this story that&rsquo;s missing on Gawker, Buzzfeed and almost everywhere else that posted just the clip under the guise of news. What made the clip newsworthy wasn&rsquo;t the event itself but that it violated a standard Fox News had set (which, I know,&quot;Fox has standards,&rdquo; LOL!).</em></p><p><a href="http://thepapermacheteshow.com/" target="_blank">The Paper Machete</a>&nbsp;<em>is a weekly live magazine at the Horseshoe in North Center. It&#39;s always at 3 pm., it&#39;s always on Saturday, and it&#39;s always free. Get all your</em>&nbsp;The Paper Machete Radio Magazine<em>&nbsp;needs filled&nbsp;<a href="http://www.wbez.org/tags/paper-machete" target="_blank">here</a>, or download the podcast from iTunes&nbsp;<a href="http://itunes.apple.com/podcast/the-paper-machete-radio-magazine/id450280345" target="_blank">here</a>.</em></p></p> Thu, 18 Oct 2012 10:20:00 -0500 http://www.wbez.org/blogs/onstagebackstage/2012-10/are-terrible-things-we-say-online-only-terrible-repetition-103231 You don't deserve a MacArthur 'genius' grant, so don't even joke about it http://www.wbez.org/blogs/onstagebackstage/2012-10/you-dont-deserve-macarthur-genius-grant-so-dont-even-joke-about-it <p><p><img alt="" class="image-original_image" src="http://www.wbez.org/system/files/styles/original_image/llo/insert-images/4768560542_d59eb4baea_z.jpg" style="float: left; height: 218px; width: 300px; " title="Junot Diaz, 2012 MacArthur Genius, in 2010. (Flickr/American Library Association)" />This year&#39;s crop of MacArthur geniuses &mdash; <a href="http://www.wbez.org/blogs/alison-cuddy/2012-10/macarthur-fellows-include-5-chicago-ties-102820">several of whom were from Chicago</a> &mdash; inevitably inspired jealousy, frustration and anger amongst those in creative and science fields. But Write Club founder Ian Belknap doesn&#39;t want to hear about how you deserve it more than them, not even for a second. Read an excerpt below or listen above:&nbsp;</p><div><em>The MacArthur Fellows &ndash; the &ldquo;genius&rdquo; grants &ndash; were announced this&nbsp;week. Each year, Chicago&rsquo;s largest private foundation awards these&nbsp;prestigious prizes, each of which comes with $500,000, no strings&nbsp;attached.</em></div><div>&nbsp;</div><div><em>I will discuss this year&rsquo;s &ldquo;class&rdquo; of &ldquo;geniuses,&rdquo; but before I do, I&rsquo;d like&nbsp;to begin by eliminating something.</em></div><div>&nbsp;</div><div><em>Each and every year, when the MacArthur Fellows are announced,&nbsp;there is some dipsh** in your circle of acquaintance who says or posts&nbsp;or tweets some variation of the following: &quot;Aw DANG! I didn&rsquo;t win AGAIN!&quot; Or &quot;Guess I&rsquo;ll have to wait till next year,&quot; or, &quot;</em><em>Who do I gotta blow to get a Genius grant?&quot;</em></div><div>&nbsp;</div><div><em>There. That sh** right there? That sh** that is burning up right now?&nbsp;Let&rsquo;s all of us agree right now that that is some sh** that we will never,&nbsp;ever say again, OK?</em></div><div>&nbsp;</div><div><em>That sh** was maybe MODERATELY amusing when it was first&nbsp;uttered. But that was like 30 years ago. And what shallow reservoir of&nbsp;funny there was in this remark has long since evaporated. Look &ndash;&nbsp;when you&rsquo;re the eighteen millionth person to say a thing, it is&nbsp;SUPREMELY annoying to the rest of us. It&rsquo;s like you&rsquo;re the &ldquo;Where&rsquo;s&nbsp;the Beef?&rdquo; lady &ndash; your moment of cultural relevance is long past and&nbsp;we&rsquo;d all be grateful if you&rsquo;d shut your f***ing trap.</em></div><div>&nbsp;</div><div><em>So can we all swear here and now to two things &ndash; raise your right&nbsp;hand and repeat after me:&nbsp;I, state your name, will never willingly utter any variation of this&nbsp;MacArthur remark, because saying something this boring and&nbsp;stupid just demonstrates that the gulf that separates me from&nbsp;being a genius is quite vast.</em></div><div>&nbsp;</div><div><em>I further pledge that if anyone should make any version of this&nbsp;remark with earshot of me, I shall strike them full in the face&nbsp;with a flyswatter, a flyswatter I shall carry for this purpose.&nbsp;</em></div><div>&nbsp;</div><div><em>OK. Good. Let us never speak of this again.</em></div><div>&nbsp;</div><div><a href="http://thepapermacheteshow.com/" target="_blank">The Paper Machete</a><em>&nbsp;is a weekly live magazine at the Horseshoe in North Center. It&#39;s always at 3 pm., it&#39;s always on Saturday, and it&#39;s always free. Get all your</em>&nbsp;The Paper Machete Radio Magazine&nbsp;<em>needs filled&nbsp;<a href="http://www.wbez.org/tags/paper-machete" target="_blank">here</a>, or download the podcast from iTunes&nbsp;<a href="http://itunes.apple.com/podcast/the-paper-machete-radio-magazine/id450280345" target="_blank">here</a>.</em></div></p> Fri, 12 Oct 2012 08:00:00 -0500 http://www.wbez.org/blogs/onstagebackstage/2012-10/you-dont-deserve-macarthur-genius-grant-so-dont-even-joke-about-it Who will show up on election day, and will they look like America? http://www.wbez.org/blogs/onstagebackstage/2012-10/who-will-show-election-day-and-will-they-look-america-103030 <p><p><img alt="" class="image-original_image" src="http://www.wbez.org/system/files/styles/original_image/llo/insert-images/presidential%20debate%201.jpg" style="float: right; height: 148px; width: 300px; " title="Governor Romney and President Obama at their first debate in Denver (Screenshot via WSJLive)" />In a month of weekly presidential debates, Thursday evening brings two fresh faces to the mix, as Republican Vice Presidential nominee Paul Ryan and incumbent Vice President Joe Biden go head to head.</p><p>But lurking behind these two men is the memory of last week&#39;s first presidential debate. Writer J.C. Aevaliotis argues that evening revealed the true difference between Gov. Romney and President Obama, and that it comes down to what they think America looks like. &quot;100% of America, Republicans are saying. Mitt Romney&rsquo;s electoral fate, and maybe the GOP&rsquo;s future, depend on how well they understand what that means,&quot; said Aevaliotis. Read an excerpt below or listen above:</p><p><em>...On the eve of the first presidential debate of the election season, Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson spent a full day hyping an exclusive video they described as &ldquo;explosive,&rdquo; promising that the newly unearthed video of Obama speaking about race would change the dynamics of the election. The video, a 5-year-old public speech at a university in Virginia, was greeted with a collective &ldquo;meh.&rdquo;</em></p><p><em>Carlson and Hannity insisted that the video contained excerpts removed in other reporting, that the coverage of the speech in 2007 was incomplete and biased in favor of Obama. Here&rsquo;s Carlson: &quot;People say &#39;this has already been reported.&#39; Well, actually, it hasn&#39;t been reported, and I know because I reported on it the first time.&quot;</em></p><p><em>And what Hannity and Carlson claim is that the video shows is a radically racial Obama, fomenting discord with intentionally incendiary rhetoric delivered in a blacker-sounding voice than Obama&rsquo;s normal voice. The &ldquo;news&rdquo; was quickly drowned out by the hype of the first debate, though a handful of prominent conservatives claim that the video shows us a &ldquo;true&rdquo; Obama, ignored by most media. A simultaneously racist and racially-divisive Obama.</em></p><p><em>On the conservative blog </em><a href="http://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2012/10/obama-slandered-american-as-racist-using-dishonest-claims-about-the-response-to-hurricane-katrina.php">PowerLine</a><em><a href="http://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2012/10/obama-slandered-american-as-racist-using-dishonest-claims-about-the-response-to-hurricane-katrina.php">, Paul Mirengoff said </a>that the speech isn&rsquo;t &ldquo;ancient history,&rdquo; but a &ldquo;sincere&rdquo; statement of how Obama sees America. Mirengoff summarizes Obama&rsquo;s view this way: &quot;America needs to redistribute wealth from whites to blacks in order to offset, as best it can, the nation&rsquo;s basic racism.&rdquo; Mirengoff goes on to say that &ldquo;the redistribution of wealth from middle class suburbs to the inner city constitutes the core of Obama&rsquo;s domestic agenda for his second term,&rdquo; and that &ldquo;Obama will aggressively pursue that agenda through executive orders, regulations, and coercion if America makes the grave mistake of re-electing him.&rdquo;</em></p><p><em>The chord Mirengoff, Hannity, and Carlson attempted to strike is a resonant one for conservatives, many of whom believe that Obama&rsquo;s not-so-secret electoral strategy is to dole out free goodies from the public coffers to ensure that welfare recipients turn out in droves to re-elect him.</em></p><div><a href="http://thepapermacheteshow.com/" target="_blank">The Paper Machete</a><em>&nbsp;is a weekly live magazine at the Horseshoe in North Center. It&#39;s always at 3 pm., it&#39;s always on Saturday, and it&#39;s always free. Get all your</em>&nbsp;The Paper Machete Radio Magazine&nbsp;<em>needs filled&nbsp;<a href="http://www.wbez.org/tags/paper-machete" target="_blank">here</a>, or download the podcast from iTunes&nbsp;<a href="http://itunes.apple.com/podcast/the-paper-machete-radio-magazine/id450280345" target="_blank">here</a>.</em></div></p> Thu, 11 Oct 2012 08:00:00 -0500 http://www.wbez.org/blogs/onstagebackstage/2012-10/who-will-show-election-day-and-will-they-look-america-103030 Was Jesus married? http://www.wbez.org/blogs/onstagebackstage/2012-09/was-jesus-married-102676 <p><p><img alt="" class="image-original_image" src="http://www.wbez.org/system/files/styles/original_image/llo/insert-images/3012673675_35d05d229b_z.jpg" style="float: left; height: 523px; width: 300px; " title="(Flickr/matthew Hunt)" />This internet exploded last week when it became potentially possible that Jesus was <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/09/was-jesus-married-ancient-papyrus-mentions-his-wife/">not the saint you might think</a>, as a scrap of paper revealed he had potentially been married.</p><p>But &quot;The idea that Jesus was married does more than make the New Testament more saleable as a Lifetime mini-series,&quot; said James Finn Garner at <em>The Paper Machete</em>. &quot;(You know somewhere the concept has been pitched, and a producer has said, &#39;I like the story, but this guy Jesus, he needs to be sexed up.&#39;) If the scrap proves to be accurate, it might shake the foundations of the Christian church as we know it, at least until the church as we know it squelches it.&quot;&nbsp;Read an excerpt below or listen above:</p><p><em>The scrap, cut from a larger scroll, contained seven lines of sentence fragments. Among these were the words: &ldquo;Jesus said, My wife.&rdquo;&nbsp;</em></p><p><em>Now, I&rsquo;d like to get address the elephant in the room right now and head straight for the Borscht Belt treatment:&nbsp; Jesus said, &ldquo;My wife wants to take a vacation, spark up our LOVE life. Wants to go to the Dead Sea. I say, Why the Dead Sea? She says, it reminds me of our love life.&rdquo;</em></p><p><em>And also:&nbsp; How can you tell that Jesus was married? He brings 5000 people over and then asks, &ldquo;Hey, we got any food?&rdquo; I like that one better.</em></p><p><em>The headlines screamed the predictably sensational question,&ldquo;Was Jesus married?&rdquo; The expert from Harvard answered strongly that she had no idea. The sentence wasn&rsquo;t complete, it had no context, the scrap had been cut from a larger papyrus we don&rsquo;t have. It was written 150 years after the death of Jesus, who as you remember, was someone prone to speak a little cryptically. It could have been the start of a parable, analogy, mystical figurative allusion, or something else.</em></p><p><em>But I ask you, what&rsquo;s more fun, scholarship or baseless conjecture?&nbsp; Then let&rsquo;s get to it.</em></p><p><a href="http://thepapermacheteshow.com/" target="_blank">The Paper Machete</a><em>&nbsp;is a weekly live magazine at the Horseshoe in North Center. It&#39;s always at 3 pm., it&#39;s always on Saturday, and it&#39;s always free. Get all your</em>&nbsp;The Paper Machete Radio Magazine<em>&nbsp;needs filled&nbsp;<a href="http://www.wbez.org/tags/paper-machete" target="_blank">here</a>, or download the podcast from iTunes&nbsp;<a href="http://itunes.apple.com/podcast/the-paper-machete-radio-magazine/id450280345" target="_blank">here</a>.</em></p></p> Fri, 28 Sep 2012 08:00:00 -0500 http://www.wbez.org/blogs/onstagebackstage/2012-09/was-jesus-married-102676