WBEZ | children

List: What would you have been named?

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 09:31:00 -0500

If you tell me you have a child, I’m probably going to ask what his or her name is, mostly because I want to discern what type of person you are based on the name you picked. I find name choice a fascinating little corner of the attic that is the human mind.

If I was born a boy, I would have been named Alexander. But by the time my brother was born, my parents were on to John/Jack. Would Jack have been a different person if he were Alexander? I put a call out on my Facebook page last week for people to reveal their “other” name, and got some pretty fun tales in response:

Anne Elizabeth Moore: Guess what. Buffy. For reals. My parents expected me to be a red-headed boy, and would have named that boy Buffy. Thankfully by the time they did have a red-headed boy, I had talked them out of that insanity.

Alissa Rowinsky Wright: Adam. But, initially, they were going to name me Black Elk. A totally appropriate name for a Jewish kid about to be born in Topeka, Kansas. Thanks, hippie parents, for coming to your senses!

Jessica Grose : Zeke. My older brother is Jacob and my mom thought Jake and Zeke sounded like a pair of bank robbers. My dad was not that into this idea, so Nicholas and Alexander were also in the running.

Kirsten Palmer: Samuel Palmer [which became my younger brother’s name.]

Zev Valancy: I asked many times, and have always been denied. It’s a source of frustration.

Carrie Raisler: My parents were sure I was going to be a boy and were planning to name me Christian. I believe they pulled my name out of thin air in the hospital.

Lauren Fox: Neil — because I was born three days after the moon landing.

Nicole Cliffe: Daniel. But then, when my little brother was born, they named him “Michael,” because Daniel was . . . my name? You know, it’s weird.

Paula Winfrey Brown: I was to be Brice Corbin (after my dad). I was given the nickname Corky before birth. When I came out a girl, they still wanted that God awful nickname so I became Paula Courtney aka Corky until I was 6 and demanded a name that wasn’t stupid.

Ellen Werne: A few years ago my mom said, out of the blue in the middle of JC Penney, “If I had it to do over, I would have named you Hannah.”

Raia Fink: Rafael

Maura Farrell Devine: Cornelius

M Molly Backes: Brian. I recently got into an argument with my younger sister where she was like “No, I was going to be Brian if I was a boy!” and I said right, because they didn’t name me Brian, so you could still be a Brian. This argument looks even stupider now that I type it out.

Samantha Irby: Samuel. Some imagination on my parents, Jesus.

Todd Karzen: Willamina. On the day I was born, the Sesame Street letter of the day was W. My older brother (then 3 years old) insisted that I be named Willamina. I’m so lucky I turned out male, narrowly escaping the life of an Amish girl.

Emily Weaver: I would have been Ray Harold, had I been a boy, which is the name my younger brother got, and is based on various grandfathers and great-grandfathers. I remember feeling salty as a little kid when my parents talked about the “what you might have been named” since his name was in the running for me. But my name was not in the running for him. I was all hurt, like “Why didn’t you want to name him Emily?” and I couldn’t understand that it was because I was already named Emily. Kids! I think he would have been Amanda.

Mary Richardson: Graham Brian Downing Richardson, Jr. Which is what my brother was named three years later. What is weird is the names of my parents’ first two babies (I was the third) who died at birth (born too early). The first was named Brian Dennis. The second was named Anne Elizabeth. My little sister (who is still alive) is named Elizabeth Susan. So not only did my parents not have any qualms about using names already thought of for other children, they used names already used for other children.

Jackie Gregory: Jack. Yep.

Matt Shaffer: Per my mom, I would have been named Amelia, after a nun who took her in during some turbulent years in the late 60s.

Sarah Kaiman: Noah. But my mom really liked Magic for a bit for either gender. FYI — This was pre-Magic Johnson.

Kevin Smokler: Kara. My mom had a thing for Irish names. Like every midwestern Jew in the 70s, apparently.

Martha Burzynski: Reports varied widely over the years; Michal (Polish version of Michael) or Beau.

Emily Guendelsberger: Grover. At least, that is the myth.

Meghan Haynes: Ajax (hot...mess... what happens when your father is a comic book fan, shaking my head); God knew what he was doing when He made me, I was spared!

Who would you have been? Follow Claire Zulkey @Zulkey.

Teacher brings library close to home for her Little Village neighbors

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 03:54:00 -0500

The enclosed porch behind Rachel Perveiler’s Little Village apartment is crammed with shelves stuffed with books and games. It’s also filled with children from her neighborhood.

Perveiler’s porch is the meeting place for “La Biblioteca del Personas,” or the People’s Library. Meeting here has become a weekly ritual for Perveiler and the children in her neighborhood.

“Okay boys, are you turning in books?” Perveiler asked brothers Joaquin and Jose Camacho.

“I want to still keep this one, but I’m returning this one back.” Joaquin said.

“Okay, go ahead, put it back,” Perveiler said.

As the children looked through the shelves, pulling out books, Perveiler asked 9-year old Jaylene Rios what she thought of her most recent selection.

“Did you like Charlotte’s Web, or no?” Perveiler asked.

“Oh yeah. I’m barely right there,” Jaylene said, as she pointed to a place toward the beginning of the book.

“The first chapter? Okay, so you liked it?” Perveiler asked.

“Yeah,” Jaylene said.

Since the library began two years ago, the teacher said she’s watched the kids develop what she hopes will become a life-long reading habit, and she’s seen their reading skills improve.

She points to Jaylene, who started with Frog and Toad are Friends and has now moved on to Charlotte’s Web.

“I’ve seen their interests grow,” Perveiler said. Rather than just coming over because I’m here and I’m a new person, they come over actually to check out books, and they want to get a new book or they want to get a book that they know their friend just read.”

The library began when the 23-year-old moved to Little Village back in 2011 to be close to her first job as a special education teacher at nearby Finkl Academy.

Perveiler was moving into her apartment when some of the neighbor kids saw her carrying boxes.

“They offered to help carry the boxes in. When they found out they were children’s books, they were curious to see why [I had] all these children’s books,” Perveiler said.

The books were for her classroom, but since it was still summer, the kids asked if they could borrow them. They sat on her porch, read the books and returned them the same afternoon.

Word about the books soon spread in the neighborhood, and the children began coming to Perveiler’s regularly. As the library evolved, the group members decided they needed to have some rules and expectations for members. They even developed a pledge, which greets visitors as they enter the library.

Joaquin Camacho, 9, read the hand-lettered poster out loud.

“As a member of the library, I pledge to be a role model. I promise to [show] respect and responsibility,” Joaquin said. “I promise these in the name of leadership, because the world needs leaders.”

Before they can use the library, kids must also complete a special task. Each new member makes a bookmark to take home. After a week, they have to bring it back to Perveiler in good shape to prove they’re responsible. If it’s ruined, they have to do it again before they can check out a book.

Today, the library has around 500 books, mostly donations from friends and family. But, as Joaquin said, not all of the books come from outside sources.

“My brother, Jose, and I are going to make a comic book, The Adventures of Big Fist and Lightning Man,” Joaquin said. “We’re going to put it in the library with the other comics.”

The library doesn’t just have books for children: Leslie Luna, 9, said her father uses the library to improve his English.

“He talks Spanish, and so he’s practicing his English,” Leslie said. “When he was in Mexico he almost dropped out of school, because he needed to work for his family, so he didn’t get to do a lot of education in his life.”

Leslie said she chooses books for the two of them to read together. “I like to help him, a lot,” she said.

When Perveiler isn’t available at the makeshift library, her boyfriend, Michael Aumiller, helps fill in. He said he’s also the unofficial homework helper.

“They have limited access to internet and that sort of thing, so they like to borrow my encyclopedias. I’ll flag things down that are important,” Aumiller said.

Aumiller said in neighborhoods facing challenges like Little Village, it’s important to have an involved

network of neighbors.

“Since the library started, I’ve noticed we just have a greater sense of connection to the community,” he said. “I just think that is something that is very important to the overall health of Drake Avenue.”

As for Perveiler, she hopes that sense of community spreads to the kids, along with improved literacy skills.

“I would like to see their interest in reading and their interest in each other socially, as friendships in their community, continue to grow,” Perveiler said. “If the space remains on the back porch always, that is perfectly fine with me.”

Rebecca Kruth is a WBEZ Arts and Culture Desk intern. Follow her @rjkruth.

Heritage Matters: Children's Health, Culture, & Community Event

Thu, 07 Feb 2013 11:48:00 -0600

This Heritage Matters panel discussion explores children’s health through the lens of mental and physical health, cultural identity, family and community dynamics.

The Children’s Health, Culture, & Community panel brought together presenters from three CCA member communities. Muhammad Sankari, Youth Organizer at Arab American Action Network discusses how his organization creates a safe space for youth to build healthy relationships and assist with their dual cultural identity. Peggy Montes, a former Chicago Public School teacher and a founder of the Bronzeville Children’s Museum, explains how her museum creates interactive exhibits that educate children and their parents about cultural heritage and healthy lifestyles. Veronica Ocasio, representative from the Institute of Puerto Rican Arts and Culture, shares her institute’s role in helping to develop the Humboldt Park community into a campus of wellness.

Jenifer Cartland, Ph. D., Research Associate Professor at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine is the moderator of the discussion. “The social environment plays a critical role in the health of young people, so it is important to consider the role cultural organizations play in creating healthy community environments,” said Dr. Cartland, commenting on the panel.

Heritage Matters is a panel discussion series at Chicago Cultural Alliance

that engages CCA member organizations to speak about contemporary issues.

Recorded live Thursday, February 7, 2013 at the Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children's Hospital of Chicago.

Unfamous Kids Named After Famous People

Thu, 10 Jan 2013 09:37:00 -0600

About a month ago, Drew Magary published an astounding little post on Deadspin about some of the most unusual names in 2012. My favorite is “Donathan,” just because it kind of makes sense, yet doesn’t, sort of like “Denjamin” or “Staniel” or “Misterpher.”

Anyway, this got me thinking on the ways people name their kids. Our son is named “Paul” which is a pretty straightforward name, except my underlying rationale for doing so is maybe a little weird. He’s named for a baseball player.

My affection for Paul Konerko has been documented online before, although what used to be a crush has leveled off to a rational appreciation for his hard work, good attitude and odd ability to have a successful yet scandal-free athletic career. So the name “Paul” to me became imbued with those good qualities (incidentally, while the White Sox did lose the night my Paul was born, Paulie K. homered.)

The more I thought about it, I was able to come up with even more good famous Pauls who have brought me happiness throughout my life: Paul McCartney, Paul F. Tompkins, Paul Scheer, Paul Rudd, RuPaul. So why not a Paul for me? A good precedent had been set by the Pauls who had come before him.

I’m not completely alone. A friend of mine named Stephanie was nicknamed “Stevie” at birth due to her parents’ affection for the Fleetwood Mac singer Ms. Nicks. I know a child of some Bears fans who is named Keller because that’s Mike Ditka’s middle name.

I must know other kids out there who were named after athletes and various other famous people, but my coffee intake is low and so I can’t summon them at this time. So please share with me: who were your (or your friends’ or family’s) kids named for that’s in the pop culture realm, and why? Feel free to be totally judgmental of your peer’s decisions.

Small wonders

Mon, 07 Jan 2013 09:15:00 -0600

On Friday, while perusing Facebook, I saw that my friend Bex Schwartz had posted this photo from her childhood with the caption “This photo from when I was three explains a lot:”

Something about that photo rang a bell for me. It wasn’t the bangs or the couch or the baby brother (although those were recognizable to me, too). It was those Underoos. Was it possible that I wore the same underpants as did a friend of mine (whom I’ve never met in person) and who lives 800 miles away? I did a little search through my parents’ slides on Flickr and realized that I too was rocking Wonder Woman Underoos in my youth:

I’d all but forgotten about those Underoos. What a funny coincidence. Was it possible that Bex and I were just sisters from another mister, or were there more of us secret Wonder Women from across the country? We put out a call on Facebook and Twitter and quickly found that we were not alone:

Thanks to Carrie, Deb, Jen and Stacey, Nellie and Rusty for those pics.

Obviously, something about those superheroine-themed underpants must have been meaningful to all of us girls, or else we wouldn’t have posed for photos in them. Look at how proud we all are, as we should have been, because we were incredibly awesome. Little did our parents know when buying us those red, blue and gold undergarments that they were raising a secret generation of incognito superhero girls. (Or maybe they did!) I had all but forgotten that I was once Wonder Woman. But now I’m glad that I was, and that I was not alone.

We want to find more of you out there. Bex and I have started a Tumblr called Small Wonderoos collecting these old photos. If you are a member of the sisterhood, please check us out and submit your own. And think about how wonderful we all are.

Tips for guaranteeing a perfect 'Scared of Santa' photo

Tue, 18 Dec 2012 10:00:00 -0600

The best part of Christmas are those hilarious “scared of Santa” photos posted on the Chicago Tribune’s website. Truth be told, it wouldn’t feel like Christmas without a couple dozen photos of terrified children sobbing on strange men’s laps. So avoid feeling like a failure this year and turning out a regular boring old photo of your sweet child smiling on a friendly fat guy’s knee, here are some tips on how to elicit a surefire winner:

Try to find a hungover Santa if you can. His dour expression and the bags under his eyes will contribute to a hilarious image.
Better yet: skinny Santa. What could be worse?
Dress your child much too warmly for the occasion, and try to find a Santa in extremely high demand. That way, after the hours of waiting in line (don’t forget to forget the snacks), your little one will be uncomfortable and miserable.
Have the big “stranger danger” chat with your child on the way to meet Santa, but as you wait in line say, “Well, Santa probably doesn’t want to hurt you.”
Inform your child that Santa’s beard is full of earwigs which will crawl into his or her ear and lay thousands of holiday eggs.
Give your child a long script to recite to Santa and inform him that if he deviates from it, even by one word, Santa will kill your dog. Make sure you give him a lot to drink before you do this and go somewhere where there are no public restrooms in sight.
Tell your child that you’re sorry, but this year Santa has decided that every other child who comes to sit on his knee will be abducted on Christmas Eve and there’s no way of knowing which is which.
If all else fails, give your child a merry little pinch on the upper arm right before he or she goes up for the photo. Ho ho ho and a ha ha ha!

New moms apologize a lot

Thu, 15 Nov 2012 05:00:00 -0600

I know some people think of new mothers as smug, self-satisfied creatures who know what they’ve done is amazing and the rest of the world is irrelevant, but that hasn’t been the case in my experience. New moms apologize. A lot. Sorry about the way I look. Sorry, the house is a mess. Sorry my stroller is so big. Sorry the baby just spit up. Sorry the baby is crying. Sorry if the way I feed my baby might offend you. Sorry, I just forgot what I was going to say because THE BABY ATE MY BRAIN! Aargh! I’m not myself, as you can see. Sorry.

This is me, although getting a little progressively less so I as I slide amongst this matrix of knowing what I’m doing and accepting a new reality. I think some of us (self-described) educated, somewhat-hip moms who think, “I read STFU Parents! I get it!” then feel dismayed when we realize that we are not exactly the same, plus baby. And having a baby is not like Angelina Jolie having a baby. It’s not striding through the airport all skinny with great sunglasses clutching your tiny quiet child to your chest as you go off and be awesome. It’s very much like it is in the movies and TV, which makes you feel like such a cliche as your hair falls in your face and you wonder if you got poo under your nails and your shirt has been spit up on but you don’t feel like adding to the laundry pile and you wonder if you should keep picking up the house or just only do it when people come over and not just people, but really important people like the president.

The craziest thing is, I have noticed that some of us new moms continue to apologize amongst even our own kind. I had lunch with a girlfriend the other day who has a baby and she seemed frazzled as she tried to play it cool, juggling a 20-pound baby and a 30-pound stroller out of her car — not to mention a 10-pound diaper bag. I went to a party a new mom threw for other new moms and she seemed worried that all she had for her guests was guacamole and booze. (Let's be real: All you really need is the booze). I saw myself in these ladies and tried to impart the sentiment that, hey, we’re all the same here. I don’t know any of those women who make it all look easy and that they’ve got it all under control. Frankly, I don’t want to. So when we’re around our own kind at least, I hope we can try to let go of apologizing for our current state of being. At the very least we should enjoy that brief moment we don't feel the need to apologize.

I don’t have a really good wrap up to this post. The baby is crying upstairs and I have to cook dinner tonight and currently the table I’m typing this on is festooned with papers and a dirty kleenex and a pacifier and and an empty dog heartworm medicine box and soy sauce packets so my brain is I don't know what. I’m sorry. But I know some of you will understand.

Raising a Cubs-Sox fan

Fri, 18 May 2012 08:14:00 -0500

How can you raise your child without the trauma of picking sides in the Cubs-Sox rivalry? You may not believe it, but you can.

That’s the beauty of being a long-time sports reporter, covering both Chicago baseball teams. At times I may favor one over the other, but to outright hate the other team, well, that just goes against my grain.

It also went against the grain of the person most responsible for my love of baseball, my late-maternal grandfather. He was a native of Poland who delivered coal for a living – you can kind of figure out the era since anyone under 40 probably has no idea what that means. Suffice it to say, he brought his coal truck to both Wrigley Field and Comiskey Park, and he loved baseball – both teams. He taught me the ins, outs and intricacies of both the Cubs and the Sox.

I grew up without much money, so the only way for me to see a game was to go on a Girl Scouts’ field trip or as a reward for good grades. I cherished any game I got to see. As I got older, I could buy a ticket with baby-sitting money – that was pure gold. If I had a little extra money, buying a scorecard with a pencil was the icing on the cake. I went to both parks, experienced the pain of the 1969 Cubs and saw Dick Allen blast home runs for the Sox at Old Comiskey. As a baseball purist, seeing Pittsburgh‘s Roberto Clemente play in right field at Wrigley versus the Cubs is etched into my memory for all time.

Fast forward: My career has allowed me to cover both the White Sox and Cubs. It is my belief as a sports reporter that we should not tip our hand on the air regarding any preference. Why tick off opposing fans? Also, you may blind yourself by single-minded loyalty and miss some great baseball achievements or moments (or not appreciate them fully).

That’s why I raised my son to enjoy both Chicago baseball teams. When Jaxon was just a few weeks old, he was in the arms of the then-Cubs PR director Sharon Pannozzo in the press box. A few years later, he got to meet one of his favorite players, Cubs first baseman Mark Grace, in the dugout. When Jaxon was 6 years old, White Sox grounds keeper Roger Bossard invited him to U.S. Cellular, and unexpectedly gave my little boy a ball for the players sign.

There are two other interesting moments stuck in my mind: I remember when first year manager Ozzie Guillen saw Jax, put him on his lap and said, “I knew you when you were in your mommy’s tummy.” A look of puzzlement came across the face of this awe-struck child. Moments later, when Frank Thomas learned my son was outside the locker room, he ran out and brought Jaxon into the club house. It was a chance for this massive player to show his gentle side.

In 2003, Jaxon was at the Cubs-Florida game 6, (the infamous “Bartman game”) sitting in the bleachers. He was supposed to see history -- a Chicago team going to the World Series. As the crowd directed its anger at a fan’s mistake, my husband smartly left the game – there are no emotional scars on them. My son did get to see the White Sox play in the World Series. Some snarky adults chided him for being too young to appreciate it. The next night there was a sign that read “I waited my whole life to see a World Series! (8 years).” Guess who held up the sign?

In a very rare occurrence in 2008, Jaxon saw both the Sox and Cubs play in the post season. Imagine if he only took one side?

These are special and unique circumstances for a kid to form an opinion. Nevertheless he has some nice memories without hatred or malice towards any baseball fans, Cubs or Sox.

Now, as a teenager, baseball is behind him. But I have no regrets letting him enjoy both the Sox and Cubs. He would have missed plenty otherwise.

Follow Cheryl Raye Stout on Twitter: @CRayeStout

Great not-so-great ideas for your kid's next birthday party!

Wed, 09 May 2012 14:23:00 -0500

More kids may be born during the spring than any other time of year. It’s also possible more kids are born during the fall. We really don’t know, but we do know it’s important to have a “news peg.” And many kids (maybe even in the hundreds) do celebrate their birthdays around this time. If you have one of those lucky kids and are looking for a new way to celebrate his/her birthday, here are some ideas!

The Make Someone Else’s Sundae Party

Kids today get everything they want. Treats are handed out daily. The result: The thrill of the Make Your Own Sundae Party is gone. Teach your kids that life doesn’t always work out the way they want it to while still getting credit for giving them ice cream with a Make Someone Else’s Sundae Party. Each kid gets to make the sundae of his/her dreams — and then has to give it to another child at the party who doesn’t like half of its ingredients.

The Inflate One of Those Inflatable Things Party

Kids love to jump around on those big inflatable things. But do they have any idea of what it takes to fill them with air? Do they even know there’s air inside of them? Inspire your birthday boy’s/girl’s curiosity — and get a cheaper rate — by holding a party during the setup period for another child’s birthday party. Each kid at the party will get a chance to help inflate an inflatable — old-school-style, by breathing into it. If your child has enough strength in his/her lungs left, he/she can blow out the candles on a cake after!

The Goodie Bag Party

Let’s be honest: Most little kids put up with birthday parties so at the end they can get the goodie bag full of cheap candy and toys (both usually made from the same ingredients). The Goodie Bag Party saves you the hassle of organizing activities and saves kids the agony of being made to do them. Here, parents drive their kids to the home of the birthday boy/girl, ring the doorbell, receive a goodie bag, say a quick “Happy Birthday” and then head back home.

The Photo Studio Party

The Photo Studio Party saves money and provides you with high-quality photographic memories. But a word of warning: This idea only works with little kids who won’t remember their party years later. Simply take your toddler to an inexpensive photo studio and request photos of your birthday boy or girl against backgrounds of kids having fun at a party. Years later, make up names for those background kids and take credit for throwing an amazing birthday bash.

The Entrust Your Child With a Man With Minimal Soccer Coaching Experience, No Experience With Large Groups of Children and a 45-Minute Rental of an Indoor Athletic Space Party

No further description necessary.

The Taio Cruz “Dynamite” Dance Party

Dance parties for kids have become quite popular in this age of easy-to-make mixes. Some parents play songs they like, others play “kids music.” Both ultimately leave the kids unfulfilled. The inexplicable truth is that today’s kids ages 4 to 8 only want to listen to one song: “Dynamite” by Taio Cruz. So, clear out the furniture in the living room, put Taio’s classic on a loop, leave the room and let your birthday boy/girl and friends “put their hands up in the air sometimes and say ‘Ayo’” for the next three and half hours.

The Put Together a Porcupine Workshop Party

The Build a Bear Workshop is a fine idea — until you actually take your birthday boy/girl and his/her friends to the place and the whining commences. “But I already have a bear!” “I don’t like bears!” “Mommy, why did the bear have to become the de facto stuffed animal!?” The kids have a point. So why don’t be different and turn those whines into smiles and the occasional tears with a Put Together a Porcupine Workshop Party — featuring real quills!

The Adult-Style Party

Too often kids’ birthday parties are focused on kid-oriented activities at the expense of preparing your little ones for the real world. So, why not try an Adult-Style Party? Invite an assortment of your birthday boy’s/girl’s friends, school acquaintances and complete strangers, but make sure your child spends the bulk of the party cornered by a stranger. Lead the group in activities like “So, What Do You Do?,” “Yes, Mad Men Is a Great Television Show,” and “I’m Going to Get Another Drink.”

(The Interview Show is back at The Hideout Friday, June 1, from 6:30 p.m. to 8 p.m. Guests include Ada St. and MK chef/owner Michael Kornick, The Fish That Ate the Whale author Rich Cohen, The Hood Internet DJ/producer STV SLV and musician, teacher and Coach House Sounds founder Matt Baron.)

'Why Have Children?': How to decide, ethically

Wed, 02 May 2012 12:48:00 -0500

Recently, I read an advice column on the popular women’s issues website The Hairpin called “Ask a Married Dude.” The posts regularly get hundreds of comments (this one has almost 500), and is one of many popular columns on the site, including “Ask a Queer Chick” and “Ask a Bowl of Hummus.”

In the most recent installation, a woman writes in to ask about having kids.”When did you and your spouse feel ready to have a baby?” she asks. “Did you have a steady job? Did you feel like a grown up? How did you know you could take care of a human for at least two decades?”

Well, according to A Married Dude, having a baby is really no big deal. “Sometimes you just never really know,” the advice-giver writes, warning, however, that “[h]angovers are much more painful once you have a baby.” Your life changes forever once you have a baby, but not in a dramatic way. “Basically, it's like having a pet. So, yeah, the best way to prepare for having a kid is to have pets for a while.”

Okay, so, A Married Dude is not claiming to be an expert on parenthood. In fact, he’s pretty upfront about the fact that his only qualification for giving such advice is Being Married. Still, the popularity of the somewhat flippant recurring feature reveals how young people -- or at least, people of a reproductive age -- are approaching their reproductive futures. Their concerns focus around the questions: How will my life change? Will I be able to go out with friends? Will I miss spontaneous vacations? Can I still get drunk?

Christine Overall, a philosophy professor at Queen’s University, Ontario, says the people who ask those questions are going about it all wrong (and she’s not just referring to those who are preoccupied with that last one). In her new book, Why Have Children? The Ethical Debate, Overall argues that people should be thinking much less about themselves and much more about society at large when deciding to have kids. On Wednesday, she sits down with Tony Sarabia on Eight Forty-Eight to outline her argument and talk about the book.

Overall concludes that the ratio of one adult to one child makes the most ethical sense. The strongest reason to have a child, she says, is that it creates a unique kind of relationship -- one that lasts for life, and the only kind in which we create the other person. She denounces all other reasons as inadequate. Having a child because you like the idea of someone there to take care of you later in life, someone to bear your name, or as a method of strengthening a relationship, for example, are ethically irresponsible.

A human being’s environmental footprint in the developed world is immense. Yet Overall notes a strange contradiction in contemporary Western culture, one in which the burden of justification falls on those who choose not to have children rather than on those who do. This backward thinking, she argues, needs to be adjusted. Overall’s not saying we should never have children. She’s just asking us to consider the impact a child might have beyond our weekend plans for the next 18 years.