WBEZ | Books

What is the ultimate Chicago book?

Tue, 07 May 2013 14:15:00 -0500

Curious Citizen Pavel Gigov asked a question a few months ago that might have been answered in Rachel Shteir's recent New York Times Book Review article. Pavel wants to know which single book could teach him the most about Chicago. In Shteir's infamous review of three recent books about Chicago, she gave short shrift to the city's literary context, instead focusing on myriad problems plaguing "Poor Chicago." Nearly three weeks out and, with our collective ire down to simmering, now is as good a time as any to answer Pavel's question.

To start off, we reached out to someone who’s at least familiar with the theme: Annie Tully, who directs the One Book, One Chicago program at the Chicago Public Library. After huddling with library staff and consulting their master lists, she sent us a list of titles that could potentially fit the bill for Pavel. That list, produced below, includes fiction, non-fiction, poetry, children's literature and graphic novels. While The Encyclopedia of Chicago contains a lot of facts about the city, Chicago Poems by Carl Sandberg may convey more essential truths. Could Gwendolyn Brooks’ Bronzeville Boys and Girls be more instructive than Mike Royko's early columns?

Of course we can't settle on one book to define Chicago, because there are as many “Chicagos” as there are Chicagoans. Rachel Shteir would certainly have a different choice (possibly Sister Carrie) than Neil Steinberg. But that just means we get to have a conversation about our choices and hopefully understand more about the vast array of different Chicagos.

So please choose a book from this list that best explains Chicago as you understand it. If your choice isn't listed, please add it. Maybe Rick Kogan's Dr. Night Life should be included, who knows? We'll talk about the top five books next Monday on Morning Shift.

Andrew Gill is a WBEZ web producer. Follow him @andrewgill.

Interview with 'Sexy Feminism' co-author Jennifer Keishin Armstrong

Fri, 03 May 2013 08:54:00 -0500

I chat with a homegirl today, who grew up in the Chicago suburbs before moving to New York, where she spent a decade on staff at Entertainment Weekly, cofounded SexyFeminist.com, and now writes for several publications, including Women’s Health, Runner’s World, Writer’s Digest, Fast Company, and New York‘s Vulture. Jennifer Keishin Armstrong's history of The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Mary and Lou and Rhoda and Ted, is coming out on Tuesday, while her collaboration with Heather Wood Rudulph, Sexy Feminism, was released earlier this year. She has provided pop culture commentary for CNN, VH1, A&E, and ABC and teaches for Gotham Writers' Workshop. You can learn a lot more about her here.

I’m guilty of this myself but often, women criticize other women’s definitions of feminism. What were some criticisms you anticipated people lobbing towards Sexy Feminism that you wanted to head off at the pass and address within it?
We knew when we named our website Sexy Feminist (and then our book Sexy Feminism) that we were being a little, you know, provocative. But we knew it would start specific discussions, and we were right. Our thing is that we're definitely NOT delineating ourselves from other feminists somehow—you know, we're sexy feminists, and the others aren't—but we're saying that, despite continued misperception, ALL feminism is sexy. And we'll stop calling our website Sexy Feminist when everyone gets that. The idea is to stop people who have not necessarily identified as feminists but who are feminist-curious to look at the book or the site and want to learn more.

Tell me about the cover of the book: what were some other possibilities (if any) that were considered?
The only other possibility we got from the publisher was a very straightforward cover with no photos or graphics, which we thought was a little ... less than exciting, given the provocative name. This was the alternative we ended up with after sharing that feedback with them, and we felt okay about it. It's attention-grabbing, and that lipgloss is so fantastic that I ended up going out to hunt down anything I could find at Sephora that came close. (Hot tip: Tarte's lip crayon in "Enchanted" is my new favorite toy, and Tarte is one of our feminist-friendly cosmetic companies named in the book. Win win!)

What do you think are examples of pop culture that got feminism right both in terms of definition/idealism but also by demonstrating it in an everyday, practical way?
I feel a professional obligation to say this, but I also believe it: The Mary Tyler Moore Show. They weren't trying to be feminist, but the movement was so much in the air at the time, and they had so many feminist-identified women writing for the show, that it came through. I always say Mary Richards was the original Sexy Feminist. She really came into her empowerment throughout the series, and we saw her argue for equal pay to her male predecessor, we saw her talk about the pressures of being the only woman in the newsroom, and we saw her (mostly in later years) assert herself strongly with men. In one of the last episodes, she even asked Lou Grant out. It didn't work out, but still.

You’ve written books about The Mary Tyler Moore Show and the Mickey Mouse Club. What are some books about shows you’d read if they were written (but don’t want to write yourself?)
I love this question, because I can tell you that when figuring out my next book (which is now officially Seinfeld) I basically just pored over lists of TV shows. The ones I feel like I definitely can't tackle are sci-fi shows: I love some of them but don't have the geek-level knowledge required. So I think about stuff like Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Lost. Those are the two that I think could hold up to book treatment, but I'm not necessarily the right author for them.

Tell me about what you do as a career coach/consultant. And what do you do when you feel like you need consulting?
I'm very good at running other people's lives! Actually, I have to admit I think I've had a pretty good run in my own career so far, and I really do like helping other people figure out how to make those key decisions that can make a difference. Most of the time, it's that people are simply frozen into inaction by fear—fear of failing, fear of succeeding. And writing, in particular, is such a baffling career path full of constant decisions. You don't just take the corporate job and then wait 50 years so you can get your gold watch. So I can talk to clients about everything from getting their first few publication credits to moving to the next level of publications to getting an agent or going freelance full-time. It's funny you ask about what I do when I need consulting, because I've just recently started feeling that itch, like, okay, what now? I've started looking for mentors to befriend so I can ask them for a little advice in exchange for a few rounds of drinks; I also went to a great conference last week run by ASJA, and got tons of ideas for ways to advance my career more.

What’s something really unfeminist that you like? (Sometimes I dance to really misogynistic music.)
Oh, man, I do love me some "In da Club" and "Big Pimpin.'" They're just good songs. I also happen to really enjoy watching The Bachelor/Bachelorette. I always say I will allow myself to watch them because I have studied media and feminism enough that I watch them with a (very) critical lens, and because I don't personally have a Nielsen box, so I'm not actually affecting the ratings. If I get a Nielsen box, it must stop immediately.

When you worked at Entertainment Weekly, which fanbases tended to respond most rabidly when you wrote about their favorite show/artist/movie etc?
Well, despite my claims that I couldn't write a whole Lost book, I did do some reporting on Lost in my day, and, you know, you can imagine that fan base. But more surprisingly, people get just as into their Grey's Anatomy, for instance. I used to recap that and couldn't ever read the message board comments. They were very, very passionate, and channeled that passion into being not-always-kind to me.

Who are some of your favorite sexy feminists in pop culture (and you cannot name either Tina Fey or Amy Poehler.)
Ha! Those ladies do rule, but I've been totally enamored of Lena Dunham of late. If you watch or read her interviews, man, that girl is scary smart. And a totally out-and-proud feminist. She takes the loads of criticism of her work quite beautifully, and I think her constant nakedness onscreen really is revolutionary the way she does it. We truly do need to see more body types besides 90 pounds and 5-foot-10 with Olympic-level abs. I also adore Mindy Kaling, and her show does a lot of subtly feminist things: Her character is great at her job and clearly smart, even though she's a little boy crazy and talks like a teenager. But more importantly, she has this insane sexual confidence that I think makes her a strangely wonderful role model to young women. Also, she's unbelievably funny, in her own way.

You’ve worked with Heather Wood for a long time (back when I interviewed you for MBToolBox about Sirens Mag.) Why do you two work so well together and what tips do you have for working with a longtime collaborator?
We definitely just have that mind-meld thing happening. We're each totally comfortable letting the other speak on our behalf as a team. I'm an independent spirit, but it's nice to have a collaborator to fall back on sometimes when your life gets crazy with book deadlines or personal stuff. It's the best when I log onto the site and see that she's posted new content or edited a piece I'd been neglecting. We can talk each other off professional ledges sometimes, too. The main thing is to treat it almost like a romantic relationship. Keep lines of communication open and constantly express appreciation. One of the things I've noticed we automatically do, and I like, is to always thank each other. If she sees that I put up a new post, she thanks me. If she does our taxes, I thank her. I've actually carried this over into my romantic relationship, and it works wonders!

How does it feel to be the 347th person interviewed for Zulkey.com?
I feel really good about that number. There's something auspicious about it.

Follow Claire Zulkey @zulkey, check out previous interviews here or see her at Funny Ha-Ha tonight.

The Emily Bazelon interview

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 08:31:00 -0500

You'd think that with the It Gets Better project and a lower tolerance for bad behavior, bullying would be on its way out as a social phenomenon. Unfortunately, it seems like every day another story comes out about someone who took his or her own life due to torment they received from their peers. Today's interviewee has been very busy discussing what she learned while researching her book Sticks and Stones: Defeating the Culture of Bullying and Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy. In addition to that, she is a writer and senior editor of Slate, where she edits the legal column, "Jurisprudence", is co-editor of its blog on women's issues, XX Factor and regularly appears on Political Gabfest, a weekly Slate podcast with David Plotz and John Dickerson. She is also a contributing writer to The New York Times Magazine and her writing has also appeared in The Atlantic, Mother Jones, The Washington Post, The Boston Globe, The New Republic, and other publications. You can find out more about her here.

If you had to choose between your child being a bully or being the victim of bullying, which would you pick?
If I had to choose—of course I would rather not--I would actually rather have my kids be targets. The reason is not actually that I think that would make their lives easier. When you look at the research, the targets of bullying (now, it doesn’t happen to everyone)—but most kids can overcome this kind of adversity, but there is a higher risk of psychological problems in the short term and long term. And there also is a link to low academic performance. And I just care enormously about my kids’ treating other people well. It would kill me if they were singling out another kid to persecute them, which is what I think bullying is--that’s the definition I think we should use. My book has made me think a lot as a parent about whether we collectively emphasize individual achievement and happiness more than we do moral development and the sense of the collective good as we’re raising our kids.

When I was a kid, I was really obsessed with my friends talking about me, and when you write online, that happens in real time. So I’ve sort of been amazed by the thick skin that I’ve been able to build up over time writing online because you can’t take it all to heart. I wonder whether you’ve noticed if kids have been able to develop any coping mechanisms in terms of dealing with online bullying, or whether being able to take it or ignore comes more with adulthood.
You know, I haven’t seen anyone compare adults and kids. My sense is that kids are not going to be as good at having a thick skin. I agree with you, I try to have a thick skin, but a lot of adults actually don’t. I think the issue with kids is that developmentally speaking, they’re just more vulnerable. They don’t have it all figured out. It’s harder sometimes for them to have perspective, even to separate the short term from the long term, right? I think that cyber bullying can be really damaging for kids. Luckily, as we were saying earlier, that’s not always the case, and most kids can make it through. But when you see some of the cruelty that goes on online, it’s not surprising to see findings for example, that 25% of 12 and 13-year-old girls say that they saw something written online that made them not want to go to school the next day. That kind of finding suggests we’re not talking about stuff that every kid can just shrug off.

How do you know, based on being a mom but also the research you’ve done, what’s the fine line between letting the kids work it out for themselves and when do authority figures intervene?
I feel like, you take your cue from your kid. You listen and talk to your kid really carefully about what’s going on. If you feel like your kid is becoming withdrawn and depressed and it’s continuing over a significant period of time, then you have to step in. I don’t think that your first instinct should be to jump in and try to intervene in a really policing sort of way, because a lot of times kids do need space to solve their own conflicts. If you talk to your kid, they may not want you to take that kind of step, because they’ll be worried about what the consequences will be with their peers. Sometimes you have to override children about those types of instincts. But I think it’s a good idea to start off relatively cautiously. One thing I always say, is that parents should talk to kids about what they think the solution should be. Because then you end up often with both an attempt at a solution that makes more sense, but also you’re giving kids the capacity to problem-solve. One of the hallmarks of resilience is that you learn to believe that when you work hard to make a problem better and to overcome adversity, you’re going to succeed. So it seems like in here is an opportunity for parents to really help kids build up exactly the kind of skills they need later in life to overcome problems, because obviously they are going to face trouble and conflict later on.

Do you think bullied kids have it easier now, because more people have an eye out for them? Or is it harder, because of the internet?
I think the internet can make it harder because it feels very 24/7 and prevalent to kids, and they can feel exposed in front of a bigger audience. There’s the sense of the visibility of the bullying, and the permanence of it. But I think you’re also right about the heightened awareness--it just totally depends where you are. There is still a big problem with teachers turning a blind eye and underreacting. At the same time, we are seeing more vigilance and in some cases overreacting. It’s this weird moment culturally where both of those things are going on.

Is it realistic to try to raise your kids offline?
Forever? No. The way I think about it is this: As much delay as you can and then taking it step by step. So, I don’t think that having ten and 11 year olds on social media sites is a good idea, and I’m always amazed when parents just sort of seem to be like, “Oh, I couldn’t stop them!” Well, why not? Don’t they live in your house?

They didn’t want to try to stop them.
Yeah, exactly! I don’t really get that. At the same time there’s some point at which access to the technology becomes a really important form of social capital. When I was growing up, my parents hated that I talked on the phone, but if they had taken the phone away from me entirely, that would have left me out of all kinds of things, right?

I had parents who were strict with television—we didn’t have cable when I was a kid, and I wasn’t allowed to watch prime time TV until we were a certain age.
I think limit setting is really helpful in this context. Some of the examples I give are like, maybe you feel your 13 year old is ready for a phone. But does your teen need a smart phone or would a “dumb” phone, that doesn’t have the internet and doesn’t have a camera would be a better match for what he can really handle technologically. That is the choice we have been making for our own son, who just actually lost his dumb phone! Perhaps he’s not ready for the much more expensive item he would like to have. There are ways you can limit access in terms of hours of the day. One night, we realized our 13-year-old was sleeping with his phone under his pillow. It was innocent--he just wanted to know how a friend of his had done on her basketball game. But like, he doesn’t need to know that at 10:30 at night. And also, what if he had gotten an upsetting message late, after we were all asleep, then what, you know? It seems like nothing good can come of any of that. There’s no reason he needs the phone in the middle of the night. So we made a rule that the phones sleep downstairs and the people sleep upstairs.

Have you noticed since your book has come out any changes from any social media platforms, or schools that are in line with your book in terms of trying to counteract or prevent bullying?
I think schools are becoming more and more aware of this. I hear about things like the “delete day” idea that I wrote about, which isn’t my idea but I highlighted that idea—I’ve heard that other schools are taking that on. I think the social media companies have been studiously ignoring this whole conversation and the only way that’s going to change is if we their customers demand from them that they change how they deal with teenagers.

One thing that frightens me, with having a little baby, is that the whole conversation that’s happening right now about bullying is scary enough, but then I think, something will come along that will make it even easier for him to make someone’s life or have his life made into a living hell. Facebook and Twitter will be so over.
Well, it’s happening already--the kids are migrating on to Instagram and Twitter, as their parents are slightly more clued in. I don’t know what the next next thing will be—of course I don’t know that, I’m like the lamest early adopter ever. And also the whole point is that adults aren’t supposed to know, right? But, I do think this: The reason why I wrote in the Atlantic about Henry Lieberman (at MIT), about his idea of an algorithm to help prevent cyberbullying, is I think that right now we are being too passive about the underlying architecture of the web and just assuming there’s nothing to be done about it. The only thing we can do is throw up our hands. I just cannot believe that is true. These are sophisticated companies with an enormous level of resources. If they wanted to make these online environments take into account teenagers’ social welfare, they could figure it out how to do it. They could work with schools--they could just simply give school administrators and guidance counselors an email dropbox where they could send Hey! Help! kind of alerts. And none of that is happening right now. This is the Mark Zuckerberg line: privacy is an evolving standard, i.e. we will just have less and less of it--and that’s just the way it is? But no, we have control over these norms.

When you were on Stephen Colbert and you made him cry, I was just curious to know how that went down ahead of time: What you were told, how did the bit came together, who came up with it and so on?
I’ve been on Colbert a few times now. The producer had called me and we had talked about my book, but I didn’t know Colbert was going to ask that question. I have thought about it... I figured that either he was going to accuse me of being a bully or he was going to ask me whether he was a bully. It seemed like an obvious way for the show to go. They’re very wary of anything that sounds rehearsed or canned. I will say, having been on a few times, I realize it’s all about the situational, in-the-moment comedy. It’s because he’s incredibly quick, he’s really good at it. You just try to say your thing and see what comes of it.

You’ve talked about raising your sons to be feminists. What practical things have you told them so far about how they should interact with girls? I’m thinking back to when my brother was growing up my mom told him to always say yes if a girl asks him to dance.
Oh that’s great, I’m gonna steal that one! I love that! I have said to my sons, you have to treat girls and women well, as a basic baseline, and that boys who are good listeners... girls really value that. That’s something they should really make sure to try and develop. I don’t go around preaching about feminism very much in my house, just because “preaching”—I mean, my kids roll their eyes.

I read that poor Hanna Rosin’s son is sick of her it seems.
I know, I know, Jacob. I used to write a family column about my kids for Slate but then I stopped because they were getting old enough that people were starting to ask them about it and I felt it was enough. Which is too bad in some ways because they’re only continuing to be more and more hilarious as they get older. It’s not that I never mention them, I mean, I’m talking about them with you. So I would say that what I mostly feel about my kids, is that they are seeing their parents with not a whole lot of aplomb. My husband and I juggle things together all the time. He isn’t very involved in their lives and I don’t think they have the idea. They have been surprised when they have learned that women didn’t used to be able to vote, or women used to work less. Those are sort of revelations to them.

Your 2009 interview with Ruth Bader Ginsburg was cited in the United States House of Representatives' Committee Report in support of the Prenatal Nondiscrimination Act of 2012 sex or race-based abortion. Some states are working on laws banning sex or raced-based abortion. Is that a thing that is happening very much?
My sense is, and I’m not hugely expert in this, is that this is something that happens to some degree in countries like India and China. And that there’s very little evidence that it’s happening here.

I think that sex selection laws are essentially symbolic because like you said, people are not going to give this reason. Even if they might feel it, they aren’t going to say it, right? And then when you look at the other laws about admission privileges, or there’s these one that are called “trap laws,” where the abortion clinic has to have the same specifications as an ambulatory surgical center. So that sentence is totally boring. But what that means in practice is that we’re going to shut down this clinic by making it so expensive to operate because we’re going to make it have all these “safety conditions” in place, but really it means it’s a lot of red tape and the clinic can’t operate any more. That’s what’s really going on.

What is going to be your next big project?
That’s a good question, do you have any ideas for me? I really am trying to figure that out, but I really don’t know the answer right now.

I think you should write Young Adult fiction!
You know it’s so funny, I wish that I could write Young Adult fiction novels--I have no reason to think I can do that well. There are a few different things I’m really interested in right now, but honestly I’m so depleted and I’m still talking about my book! So I think I need a couple months to get my bearings. But I’m really looking forward to having a new project!

How does it feel to be the 345th person interviewed for Zulkey.com/WBEZ?
It feels great! You ask such smart and interesting questions.

Follow me @Zulkey. To see previous interviews, go here.

The Blair Koenig interview: Editor of STFU, Parents

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 08:35:00 -0500

Today's interviewee's site is up there on my daily reads, except for the days when the site involves poop or placentas (I read my blogs during lunch.) STFU, Parents has skewered the strange world of parental social media overshares and given me lots of laughs, silent commiseration and a bit of a guide on how not to behave online. Blair Koenig's published the STFU Parents book this week with Penguin and I can't wait to check it out. When she's not running the blog or promoting the new book, she's also got a blog at Mommyish. Disclaimer: Blair and I are (Internet) friends my child has appeared on the site...as a Mom's Gold Star.

What made you decide to come out as a “real person”? Wasn’t it feasible for you to publish the book anonymously?

I had written the site for three and a half years when I "came out," and I was more than ready. It's weird to write something every day and not feel like you're fully representing yourself. I've never had much interest in sharing details about my personal life on the blog or on social media, but I was forming friendships with readers and other bloggers as a result of the blog, and I wanted to be more transparent.

I do think it would've been feasible for me to write and publish the book anonymously, but I'm guessing that it would've been hard to promote the book anonymously. If I went on Good Morning America with a bag over my head, my mother would be so ashamed.

What, if any, were the legal issues of publishing social media updates from real people? Did you need to get permission from the “subjects” and or the brand of media?

I did not get formal permission from anyone who is featured in the book. However, we didn't use any pictures, because that would require permission, and aside from that, I think it'd be odd to have a picture of some stranger's kid's poop in the book. That doesn't sit right with me. Plus, who wants to thumb through a "funny" book at the store and then open it to the poop page? That's an eye assault. Pictures like that don't need such permanence, in my opinion.

I did change a few minor details in the submissions in the book, and all of the names have been changed, too. I tried to do the names justice by choosing a comparable name. If a toddler's name was "Jazzlyn" in the submission, I might've changed it to "Maddisyn" or "Jaymee" for the book.

How often do you receive submissions from people that don’t qualify as STFU worthy events? What are some examples?

I'd say at least 70% qualify as "STFU-worthy," though I might not take all of those. Like if it's a mommyjacking submission, and the mommyjacking comment is good, but the comments leading up to it are all disjointed or equally crazy/rude, that won't make the cut. Or if it's the millionth nude kid sitting on a potty with his penis flashing the world, I might pass on that.

Some people submit stuff that's pretty mild, but they're submitting because their friends post hourly kid updates and it's driving them nuts. So, individually the submissions aren't worthy of the blog, but I'm assuming that the person might be worthy. Those updates will just say something like, "So proud of Mykynna, she loved her first day at school!", or "My son is a smiley, stinky boy!" Sometimes those submitters are even just emailing to vent, and not because they expect the submissions to get posted.

What are some of your favorite “yoonique” kid names?

I'm impressed with names like Espn (pronounced "Aspen") or Abcde (pronounced "Ab-sid-ee"), because they're so unnatural to sound out, and only an idiot would give their child those names. I also have a fondness for the names Vagena Tamphen Pohtaytar and Vadgesty Foxi Maiden, because that's what this woman supposedly named her twin daughters, and those names are unforgettable.

I get a little tired of names like "Danger" or "Rocket" or "Zombie." Yawn. I'm also over names like Brayden and Camden. Enough already.

What are some of your actual favorite kids' names (If you had a kid tomorrow, what names would you choose?)

Hmm, I'm not sure what I would name my own kids. My name was pretty uncommon growing up, and my boyfriend's name was extremely common, and we both like our names, so I don't think being "yoonique" is really as important as having a name that fits your personality. The problem is, every time one of us suggests a name just for fun, the other is like, "Ugh, that was my 8th grade chemistry teacher's name," or, "That's the name of my first roommate who stole all my jewelry." So we don't tend to discuss baby names much.

Every now and then you post some “mama drama” that makes me start seriously pitying the child in question (like mothers calling out negligent fathers, for instance.) How often do you receive submissions that border on truly unfortunate circumstances, as opposed to annoying or funny, and have you ever felt compelled to follow up or notify the authorities?

Once I asked a person to consider alerting someone about a picture of a kid with radiator marks on his back. The caption said that the child had climbed up and fallen asleep on the radiator because it was warm, and then he woke up with the marks on his back, but um, why wasn't the kid being watched? I was relieved that it wasn't a picture of physical abuse, but it was definitely an example of bad parenting. Even posting the pictures on Facebook showed what a giant moron the person is. That submission bummed me out.

What do you do when you receive a comment or email that starts sounding threatening or violent?

I've thankfully received very few of those, and usually I ignore them. I did get a couple of emails that freaked me out and were written by the same person, but I told that person that I'd report the next one. I try to use judgment without overreacting, but weird or hateful emails are a downside to blogging, especially if they include someone's fantasy about you getting killed in front of them.

You say online that you do hope to have kids someday. What have you picked up, either ironically or practically, in terms of what you do/don’t hope to do as a parent someday, beyond, of course, not posting photos of poop?

Not posting pictures of poop is a great start. Generally, I still think teaching kids basic skills is important. Whenever I read an article that says it's normal for 9-year-olds to not be able to tie their own shoes, I feel like we set evolution back. Also, I've never understand the hatred some parents have for strangers who don't pay attention to their children. Not everyone feels like waving back at your baby. Who cares? The last thing I want to teach my kid is that he or she is the center of the universe.

Some other fun facts I've learned about parenting in recent years that I hope to employ:

- Just because you can bring along your kid's training potty to the beach, or an outdoor concert, doesn't mean that you should.

- Being well-versed in a particular area of parenting can be friend-repelling. Don't be a sanctimommy and lecture people on breastfeeding, car seats, diaper landfills, stroller recalls, etc.

- Baby contests (cutest baby, best baby dressed as a ladybug, etc.) are almost always fixed.

- Mommyjacking is a bad habit, but people can reform.

Who are some of your favorite real life parents?

Well, my own of course. :) My friend Andy inspires me because she and her husband have two small kids and run their own businesses, but she's always taking on new projects or training to run the Marathon or something. And my best friend in Atlanta has two kids under 3, and the older son is so smart and patient. He's like a little helper. She and her husband seem to have taught him the fun in doing things rather than having things done for him.

What writing have you been doing and do you intend to do outside the realm of STFU Parents?

It's been a while since I contributed to another site under my real name instead of STFU, Parents. I'd like to write a book of humor essays, and I've been working on the outline for that. I also think about collaborating with other writers, either for TV or maybe on a screenplay, because I've never done that before. It seems like that could be interesting.

What tips do you have for bloggers on how to walk it off when the comments get too hateful?

I think the easiest way to avoid hateful comments is to not read the comments at all, but I also think it's important to engage with readers and listen to criticism. I've gotten defensive in the comments before, and it backfires on me every time. It's better to accept that some people will always disagree with you and try not to take stuff too personally. Also, physically walking it off helps. Taking a 10 minute walk will put things in perspective. It's not life or death. It's the Internet.

How does it feel to be the 343rd person interviewed for Zulkey.com?

It feels like 343 high-fives exploding in outer space. Thanks, Claire!

Follow Claire Zulkey on Twitter @Zulkey. Want to read other Zulkey.com interviews? Go here.

The Jen Larsen Interview

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 08:52:00 -0500

Today I speak with beloved blogger Jen Larsen, whose recently-published memoir Stranger Here details her experience losing almost 200 pounds via surgery – and her discovery that weight loss is not a magic bullet for happiness.

Larsen was the featured blogger at Condé Nast's now-defunct Elastic Waist, and her columns have been syndicated on Yahoo!'s Shine Network for Women. She is a contributor to Big Fat Deal, a blog about weight in popular culture. Her work has appeared in Strange Horizons, Word Riot, Emprise Review, and South Loop Review, among other publications. You can read a lot more about and from her here.

Why did you use a pseudonym when writing for Elastic Waist?

I was ashamed of being fat in the first place, and then I was ashamed of having felt so fat that I needed surgical intervention to fix myself. I was still at the point where I was half-convinced that weight loss surgery was the easy way out, that I was lying to people in real life about how and why I was losing weight. I couldn't stand the idea of someone knowing any of it, because it felt like they'd have a brutal, painful insight into me and parts of my psychology that I never wanted anyone to have access to.

It's so much safer to write under a pseudonym, and it helped me for a long time. I was able to be as honest as felt possible, and as true to myself and the story as I could. Of course, it became a fairly open secret not so long out, with all my friends and half my family reading. But I still clung to the name out of a sense of comfort.

It has to be more difficult now, with your book out there in the world, but do you have days when you simply don’t think about food, weight or size? What is going on that prohibits you from thinking about those issues on those days?

I wish I could say every day was sunshine, and every day I am just me, Jen, out in the world being Jen-like. But I think about it every day. I think about how my jeans fit and if my boobs are going to go off and disappear on me. I think about what other people think about my body, and if they think it's OK. But I'm happy to report that it's not a grinding, endless chorus in my head; they're fleeting thoughts that I chase down and kill as quickly as possible. I'm getting better at it.

Food, though . . . food I rarely think about, and that's always been the problem. My weight came from my food issues – not so much binge eating as endless, mindless, thoughtless consumption. Which pissed me off. Who wants to be an evil, f*cked-up cliche of the fat person used to dismiss and ridicule all fat people? I still struggle to be mindful about food, even though I kind of hate the word "mindful" because it makes me feel like I smell like patchouli and whole wheat flour. That's also something I'm working on getting better at.

One thing about the weight loss surgery: It forces me to be more aware when I'm eating mindlessly. My little stomach fills up quickly and I go oh, right, why don't we cut that out? But it doesn't always work, because the complex emotional insanity around food is an incredibly powerful force.

The Internet can be great at bringing people with weight issues together, but there’s a lot of disturbing and negative crap out there, too. What do you think are some of the worst weight and body image trends online?

The "obesity epidemic" shrieking is hideous. Oh, we're worried about the children! It's about health! Right. . . .

I guarantee you there's not a person on earth who has ever said, "Oh wait, I'm fat and that offends your aesthetic sensibilities? SH*T LET'S GET ON THAT RIGHT NOW," and goes and subsists on carrots for the rest of her days.

Let's turn the conversation away from shaming fat kids. Let's talk about that mindfulness thing. Let's talk about good food that isn't processed crap, about not feeling shame for eating, and about exercising to feel good about our bodies and to be as active, strong and bear-wrestlingly fit as we want to be. That would be rad.

I'd also really, really love to stop talking about our flaws. It's supposed to be a radical thing to say, "Well, you are beautiful despite your flaws! Love your flawed body, with all its flawed flaws and ugly bits!" The definition of "flawed" here is "not the body of an airbrushed swimsuit model." Your legs must be This Length to be unflawed and your ass This Wide and your t*ts This Perky; otherwise you have to force yourself to love those sad little misfits, and hope that someone else will accept them, too.

The fact that this is pushed as a positive, uplifting message – that pisses me off. How about we talk about how our bodies are awesome and how we need to have all sizes, shapes, scars, lengths and heights represented, so no one feels like there's only one real model of the human body, and all the rest are defects?

If you could go on a food binge right now without any physical consequences, what would you ingest?

I guess I lied when I said my weight loss surgery doesn't always stop me from eating beyond the point of comfort. The idea of a real-live food binge made me kind of cringe – the physical and emotional consequences and then the endless, sweaty nap. It is hard to pretend there aren't physical consequences. But I do like Oreos an awful lot.

Why do you think some people are so gullible about weight loss promises? Before I went to therapy I tended to believe anything that said “results guaranteed!” But I was infinitely more skeptical about anything else that made fishy promises like that.

The promise of weight loss is paired with the promise of happiness. It's supposedly a real, tangible path to actual happiness. Can't you see the lights shining bright in the eyes of the After Photo people? There's physical proof of the result: They are skinny and grinning, and you look at that, like, I could be skinny and grinning, and you believe it could actually happen. The Before and After Photos were what sold me on weight loss surgery. Those were the most powerful promises.

As you spend more time in your "new" body, do you find that it’s harder to recall life pre-surgery? If so, is that a good or a bad thing?

I remember what it's like every single time I notice a specific difference between then and now. I still think about it when I go through a turnstile. It's a flash of a memory, having to turn sideways to fit through. I remember when I'm on an airplane and the seats are narrow but I fit with room. I remember when I do my laundry and the pants still seem impossibly small. I try not to forget. I don't want to forget the person I was, especially because I was so cruel to her.

I’m curious whether you made a conscious decision to use the two pictures I see in your interviews and online. In your “before” photo you look like a wilder, more outgoing person than the “after.”

You are the first to notice that! Yes, I was really glad to use that "before" photo, because I was so tired of people assuming Before is bad and After is awesome. I wanted to use a Before photo that wasn't a cliche, that didn't pander to the idea that all the smiling has to start happening in the After photo. The fact that I look kind of terrified in the After photo is actually kind of an accident. I am really not good at taking posed pictures without looking stiff and awkward.

Did you view overweight people differently after you lost weight?

There was a point, not too long after I got the surgery, about 80 pounds down, that I was struck with this exhilaration. I felt lighter, like there was nothing better than that, and everyone should feel that way. And sometimes, sometimes I wanted to tell other overweight people about it. Not say, "You are overweight and you MUST be unhappy and HERE is a way to fix it." But to say, "Look, if you are sad and you think it's your weight, if you feel like you're trapped in your body, I found out about this thing. Let me tell you about this thing I am experiencing, these feelings I am feeling. I need to share this with you."

Now that I've experienced [life] in all the sizes you can be on the spectrum, I am angry for hating myself when I was fat, and for assuming everyone felt exactly the same. I don't assume that someone who is fat hates themselves the way I did. I don't think we were all in this together. I don't ever want to assume that I can decide how someone ought to feel in their body and what they ought to do about it. And it pisses me off that it happens so often – strangers deciding how other strangers ought to look and ought to feel.

I used to think that once you hit a certain weight you never had to worry about it again. I would look at thin girls and figure they lived on easy street and never had to torture themselves over whether or not to eat the cookie. Then there are starlets who blatantly lie and act like staying thin involves nothing more than the occasional hike in the canyon.

But we don’t think twice about going to work on days we don’t want to, or walking the dog when we don’t feel like it and so on. Why do you think struggling with making choices in terms of weight gets such a bad rap?

I think because weight and size have become so inextricably linked to your worth as a person, your moral strength and fortitude. You're told, "You want to be thin? Well you have to be disciplined. Those girls who don't freak out about cake? It's because they're stronger than cake and smarter than cookies. They're not as weak as you, with your craving for ice cream, you sad person. Your weakness shows in the size of your thighs and your envy of people who are more successful than you." (In this scenario, success = thin, natch.)

"Good people don't have issues with food because food isn't an issue. Your failings are the issue."

Etc., etc. flames on the side of my face, etc.

What did you feel most vulnerable about when you put the book out?

The mistakes I made. The book is essentially a catalog of the stupid sh*t I thought and the stupid sh*t I did and the ways I screwed up. It is also essentially an apology to the people I love and the people I hurt. And, I suppose, to myself.

Still, to this day (I guess not so many days later and it is likely to change, I hope) every time someone whose opinion is important to me reads [the book], I cringe a little, waiting for their opinion of me to change. My boss is threatening to read it right now. That's all kinds of nervewracking.

Does the book make you feel differently about food or weight? Do you feel more accountable, or is it time to celebrate?

I spent about two years writing the book and I thought a whole lot about my own story. Then I sent it off to the publisher and decided not to think about it at all. And then the book comes out and I have to talk about it every day, and it's becoming less and less about my own story and more and more about the issues of size and weight and self-acceptance and happiness and health. It's become this thing that's so much more important than just me and my feelings about weight loss surgery. I feel more accountable in that when people say, "Yes, what you said resonates with me and I am trying to be happy." I want to not disappoint people. I want to keep trying to be happy alongside them.

How many tattoos do you have, where are they and which one is your favorite today?

I have six tattoos! A beautiful sparrow on my foot, which nearly made me pass out and is still not colored in to this day; a stylized distelfink on my right calf; an anchor with a yellow rose on my inside right forearm, for my dad; a foo dog on my left forearm; a pirate ship on my right upper arm; and my pirate flag, on the back of my neck. I have a handful more planned. Right now and always, my favorite is my foo dog, which makes me feel fierce. But I love them all.

What are you working on now that is not Stranger Here related?

I meant to be a novelist, not a memoirist, so I am working on a few of novels: one young adult, two literary-flavored but with fantastical elements. And I want to write a book of hilarious essays, not just about food and body issues. Though food and body issues are pretty hilarious.

How does it feel to be the 342nd person to be interviewed for Zulkey.com/WBEZ?

It feels pretty goddamn awesome, since I've been a fan of the site and the site-writer for years. Thank you so much for having me!

The Teddy Wayne Interview

Fri, 08 Mar 2013 08:51:00 -0600

I bet if an even younger version of Justin Bieber came along, everyone would be incredibly annoyed, but in fictional form he's poignant and sad, as written by today's interviewee, the author of The Love Song of Jonny Valentine.

The novel examines the insular life of a little boy who has to grapple with the knowledge that the millions of people who love him have no idea who he his while coming of age as he's being raised by a tough mom-ager. Wayne is a frequent contributor to other publications (including The New Yorker) and is also the author of the novel Kapitoil. You can learn a lot more about him here.

How did you ensure a level of believability for an 11-year-old kid (aside from marketing speak?) What changes did you make throughout the process to make sure that it was accurate?
In the earliest pages, his voice was a touch too infantile—an overreliance on slang like “fav,” for instance. Instead of focusing on a wholly diminished vocabulary, I decided to make Jonny’s grammar and sentence structures more kidlike; run-on phrasings, consistent (and subtle) syntax errors, as well as specific diction that he returns to.

What were some alternate covers suggested for the book? How did the current one get decided?
The current one is all I saw at first, though my publisher later floated a few alternates. But I was sold from the start on the reflective holographic foil, which is a perfect tongue-in-cheek self-critical design: a novel about the glitzy packaging of art is itself wrapped in a glitzy package.

Similarly, were there other names you considered for Jonny Valentine?
The book’s first germ of inspiration was as a parody of pop-star autobiographies, and in that version (I wrote one chapter, which later became the New Yorker Shouts & Murmurs piece Jonny reads about himself), the protagonist is named Tyler Beats—which would eventually become the megastar whom Jonny attempts to emulate. Once I threw out the parody and started over as a novel, Jonny Valentine came to me early on.

What other research did you do for the book? Did you read any child star biographies?
I read a number of autobiographies—from Drew Barrymore’s and Tatum O’Neal’s—as well as biographies and critical books on Jackie Coogan (the first American child star in movies) to Michael Jackson. And then I read the more superficial pop-star autobiographies I was initially trying to parody, such as Miley Cyrus’s and Justin Bieber’s, along with celebrity gossip publications, both teen- and adult-oriented.

What did you learn along the way about the relationship fans have with their pop idols? Did you hear from any Beliebers (or recovering adults who would have been Beliebers in their day?)
A number of adults reminisced about being crazed fans of David Cassidy and the like. And owing to the confusion and strangeness of the Internet, a few Beliebers started following Jonny’s Twitter account, @TheRealJonny, and some Tweeted at me, asking, for example, if I love chocolate as much as they do and telling me they’re passionate about my music. It’s unclear who is being pranked.

Either from a musical perspective or just because you like them in general, who are some of your favorite teenybopper acts now or from yore?
I confess to liking One Direction’s “What Makes You Beautiful” and Miley Cyrus’s “Party in the USA.” If you go back further, I like a lot more, especially from the 1950s—Frankie Lymon, to name one, is as good as it gets.

Have you considered setting any of Jonny’s lyrics to music? I wonder, though, how much music like his starts with a hook and then the lyrics come in as an afterthought.
I recorded a version of his hit song “Guys vs. Girls” and posted it at The Morning News. Fortunately, I also asked Alina Simone, a real singer-songwriter (and novelist), to do her own, superior version as well.

What posters did you have on your wall when you were a kid?
I’ve never been much of an interior decorator, so my room was fairly poster-less, save a New York Mets poster. I didn’t really get into music until I was about 17, when I started listening to, among others, the Clash (which Jonny is exposed to by his opening band), and then I ranged much further afield in college.

What were some of the biggest surprises you encountered during your time at the Grammys?
I went with nominee Hunter Hayes and wrote about it for Rolling Stone, and I was impressed by how deftly he handled the constant scrutiny, particularly the interviews. The red-carpet gauntlet has dozens of TV crews looking for sound bites, and it requires tremendous fortitude and grace to negotiate it well. I couldn’t do it.

What do you listen to while you work?
Music I know well, so that I’m not distracted, but I’ll sometimes use Pandora. A lot of Bob Dylan, historically.

What’s the process like when it comes to publishing humor in the New Yorker? I’m about whether the editing/revision process is similar to nonfiction or fiction or if it’s a whole different ball of wax.
Generally, with publications anywhere, there’s not much editing when it comes to a humor piece, because if it’s not working, it’s simply not working. They might ask me to tighten up a thing or two, but it’s always accepted after the piece has already been written, and if it requires too much revision, it probably means it’s not meant to be.

What does one do with a fellowship?
You just hope someone will quote Young MC to you: “Come sit next to me, you fine fellow.” And it never happens.

How does it feel to be the 341st person interviewed for Zulkey.com?
Exactly how it feels to be a cast member of the movie “300” and to be George H.W. Bush, whose nickname within the clan is “41.” I feel sorry for whoever is 343, since they’ll be more like W.

Editor's note: Wayne is actually 340, due to my problems counting. D'oh. Don't let that take away from the cleverness of his first answer.

Speaking with Read Between The Lynes' Owner Arlene Lynes: Woodstock's Hometown Bookstore

Wed, 20 Feb 2013 09:12:00 -0600

A few years ago when I was promoting my novel I was invited to the cleverly-named independent bookstore Read Between the Lynes in Woodstock to make an appearance. I was charmed by the lovely, warm store located in the town square, which feels like a shopping locale from another era (specifically, one that recurs again and again; Woodstock, as you may know, was where Groundhog Day was filmed.) As part of WBEZ’s closer look at Woodstock, I sent some questions to Read Between the Lynes owner and operator Arlene Lynes.

How and when did you come to Woodstock?
I came to Woodstock in March of 1997. We relocated here from New Jersey for a new position for my husband.

How has Woodstock changed since you first arrived?
Woodstock has grown with lots of new housing/retail developments in the past 16 years. Not all bad, but the flavor of agriculture is not as prominent!

What type of community is it to live and work in? Do you think it's friendlier to independent businesses than other cities?
Woodstock is an incredible community to work and live in. While we definitely are a small town community, we have so very much to offer. Of course I am biased, but yes, I believe Woodstock to be friendlier and more supportive to Independent businesses. Due to the size of our town, we know one another and enjoy doing business with our friend and neighbors.

Is there much of a tourist connection anymore to the movie Groundhog Day?
There is a HUGE tourist connection to Groundhog Days, still. It keeps getting bigger, it seems. Many European travelers stop in over the course of the year due to our being the filming location.

What are some of your favorite places/things to do in Woodstock?
I absolutely adore the Woodstock Opera House. It holds so many diverse programs, from the daytime Creative Living Series hosted by the Woodstock Fine Arts Association (of which Rick Kogan was one of their speakers a few years back), to Tribute Rock concerts, Community Theatre performances and nationally known performers, as well as The Mozart Festival. Stage Left Cafe' (adjacent to the Opera House) is run by the City of Woodstock as well and holds Open Mics, Jazz performances and Storytelling sessions with performers from around the world. I guess it's obvious I'm a fan of the Arts, and I love the diversity we have here. In the summer we have City Band concerts every Wednesday night on the town Square. They will be celebrating their 129th consecutive season this summer. Also, a Music Fest and Folk Music festival run as well.

What are some of your favorite other small businesses in town?
Expressly Leslie is a vegetarian restaurant conveniently located across the street from us. Ethereal Confections makes the best chocolate I may have ever had! Mixteca is an authentic Mexican restaurant that has amazing margaritas.

What's one thing (or two) you think could improve or update the town square?
I would love to see the Woodstock Square filled with a variety of independent up & coming retail and eateries. As we emerge from this economic challenge of times, I hope to see us grow in these areas.

What have been some of the most popular books that you sell?
We sell a lot of children's picture books and general fiction. That being said, we love to sell Chicago authors, Laura Caldwell is from this area, so she is always a big seller.

What have been some of the most memorable events you've hosted?
Hosting Orion Samuelson of WGN this past December was certainly memorable, as the line was down the sidewalk; also children's author/illustrator Tom Lichtenheld, he is an absolute genius and relates so well with children of all ages. But let us not forget Rick Kogan who has packed the house!

What tips would you recommend for someone considering bringing a gigantic dog to work with them?
This question made me laugh out loud. My recommendations for bringing a gigantic dog to work with them would be, make sure the dog is well trained and you have back-up to allow for walks and breaks. Also, don't be offended when most everyone comments, "that's the biggest dog I think I've ever seen!"

Read Between the Lynes will be hosting a 2nd birthday party for Nika, its store mascot on Monday, March 18th at 1 pm. Birthday cake will be available for humans. Read Between the Lynes is located at 129 Van Buren St. Woodstock, IL 60098, (815) 206-5967

The Alex Witchel Interview

Fri, 25 Jan 2013 08:03:00 -0600

Today’s interviewee is the author of the sad, delicious and fascinating memoir All Gone: A Memoir of My Mother's Dementia. With Refreshments, which is a heartbreaking account of the author’s smart and strong mother “disappearing from sight” while honoring her traditions by sharing her comforting recipes. She is also a staff writer for The New York Times Magazine and originated the “Feed Me” column for the Times Dining section. She has contributed to New York, Vogue, Elle, and Ladies’ Home Journal, among other publications. The author of three previous books, she lives in New York.

After taking care of your mother and examining what happened to her and your own relationship, what steps (if any) have you taken to leave your family directions for your own old age, in case your own mind does start to fade? (picture me spitting on the ground three times right now).
Picture me spitting right next to you!

Here’s the thing about human beings: none of us really thinks we’re going to lose our minds, we believe that only happens to other people. All those people standing out on the street smoking? Not one of them thinks he or she is going to get cancer. Someone else will.

There’s actually something to be said for this membrane of denial because it allows us to both get to sleep and get out of bed in the morning.

All of which I suppose is a long way of saying no, I have given no one any directions of any sort. If my own mind does fade, I can only hope my family treats me kindly, and when they’re too busy, that they pay someone else to treat me kindly on their behalf.

If a friend of yours realized his or her own parent began to suffer from dementia, is there anything practical or otherwise, you would tell him or her to prepare themselves?
The most important thing I would tell them is that you can’t fix it. That was my biggest mistake, thinking that if I found the best doctor, the best medication, my mother would be cured. Unfortunately, dementia doesn’t care if your doctor went to Harvard. Harvard makes it laugh.

I would also say, you can’t prevent dementia. I know of people, perfect specimens, who exercised daily, ate kale -- and still got thrown under the bus. I’m not talking here about forgetting people’s names or where you put your car keys. I’m talking about getting into your car to drive home and you have no idea where home is or how to get there. I’m talking about opening a book and reading a paragraph and by the time you get to the end of it, you can’t remember how it began.

I would also tell a friend that the only thing you can do is try to surround your parent with people who love him or her and treat them with dignity and respect. Never to speak down to them or over them or assume they are idiots who cannot understand you. The thing about the stroke-related dementia my mom has is that for a very long time, she could just appear as herself for a minute or two, and if someone was disrespecting her, she was either furious or deeply upset. When she was enjoying herself, though, it was a gift.

And try to keep your parent involved in outside activities as much as possible, whether classes of a sort or family gatherings, so he or she can see other people and have things to look forward to.

Why did you choose not to include your sister Phoebe’s death in the book?
My sister Phoebe died of metastatic breast cancer on Feb. 17, 2012, after being diagnosed and living at Stage 4 for four years. She was 44 and left a husband and two sons, 8 and 4. I finished writing “All Gone” a month or so before her death. I was so devastated, I wasn’t sure what to do about it, but my editor convinced me to leave the book as it was. I had meant it to be about my mother’s dementia, the two of us coming to terms with it and so it remained. I also like the idea that in the book, Phoebe is always alive. That makes me happy.

This isn't the first time you've written about your mother; how did she react when you've written about her before, and how much advance notice did you give her on what you'd publish?
She loved it, actually. I think many people wish to be seen or acknowledged in some way, and in our world today, everyone can do that on Facebook or Twitter, wherever they want. She was of a generation that did not have that option and she trusted that I would treat her fairly. When I published “Girls Only” in 1997, a book based on columns I had written for the Times about Mom, Phoebe and me taking field trips around the city she was beside herself. Proud of me, certainly, but more than a little tickled to be the subject of a book. I read each chapter to her and to Phoebe well in advance of its publication and they were both fine about it.

Who are some of your favorite fictional mother/daughter duos?
I’m embarrassed to say that none come to mind except “Anywhere But Here” by Mona Simpson which I thought was terrific. I’ve actually been fixated recently on “Little Women,” which I haven’t read in at least 30 years. I never did understand why Beth died. What was wrong with her, exactly? And why couldn’t Marmee, the best mother in the world, figure it out? And was Meg really a sellout to get married while Jo forged her “scribbling” career or was she actually happier than Jo who worked like a dog and ended up with an old German? And even though Amy was spoiled and silly, isn’t that better than being dead? And who wants to eat blancmange, anyway? If you weren’t sick already, wouldn’t it make you sick?

How frequently do you read your reviews? Does criticism hurt more or less when it’s about fiction versus nonfiction?
I tend to read the ones I know about. And it all hurts equally.

Which tends to be more difficult for you to write, fiction or nonfiction? Which is more pleasurable?
I would have to say that non-fiction is more satisfying. I guess it comes from 22 years as a newspaper reporter, but I’m a sucker for real life. Fiction is definitely more difficult for me. Having written two novels, I found it to be something like baking: deliberate and measured and calculated to come out just so, or maybe that’s how I understood the job, or misunderstood it. Non-fiction is much more messy and nuanced; trying to figure out human behavior is like reading a great book that never ends. There’s always something you didn’t count on. I think it’s why people will always read newspapers, even on a machine.

You’ve discussed important meals in your book and other writing, but what about ‘unimportant’ meals? What do you tend to make when you don’t have time, don’t want to leave the house to get groceries, don’t want to think?
I love pizza more than almost anything. The key to frozen pizza leftovers is to defrost them in the microwave, then put them in the toaster oven at a high temperature to crisp and brown it. Yum!

I eat scrambled eggs probably three times a week, which is too much, but I love them and
that’s what Crestor’s for. Phoebe loved them with ketchup, so I’ve found myself doing that a lot more than I used to. I like it, too.

And let’s never forget tunafish. Solid white packed in water, drained, mixed with dried dill, celery salt, ReaLemon juice and Hellman’s Mayonnaise. That on Saltines is just about a perfect dining experience.

The recipes in your book are old-timey and old-world, which makes me think of when I made my mom’s meatloaf recently and had to go out and buy MSG for the recipe, which, of course, made it taste great. Are there any other ingredients of yore that have fallen out of favor that you think should be resurrected?
The one recipe that my editor would not let me include in the book was for spinach kugel, which is a noodle pudding threaded with frozen spinach. This was a favorite in my family during the 1970’s and it has three ingredients that I suppose I can’t defend: stick margarine, Lipton onion soup mix and non-dairy creamer (it was meant to be served in kosher homes as a side dish to roast chicken). Each one of those things qualifies as a chemical nightmare and I can’t make a case for any of them. But I promise that if you ate this kugel, you would fall in love.

In your meals with celebrities for the Times, with which interviewees would you most like to have a follow-up coffee?
There have been many, but I guess my favorite was June Havoc, the sister of Gypsy Rose Lee, who was known from the musical and movie version “Gypsy” as Baby June. She was a terrific actress, director and writer (her memoir “Early Havoc” is a show business classic) and she lived on a farm in Stamford, Ct. We were friends for 18 years before she died. She was in her 90’s then, though no one really knew how old she was because when she was in vaudeville – she started at 3 -- her mother lied about her age since she was too young to work the grueling hours she did. (Ten year-olds would claim to be teenagers in order to work five shows a day. But the managers would often make the kids open their mouths and if they didn’t see their 12-year molars, they’d throw them out!) Havoc was a wonderful character and it was a privilege to know her.

You’re in a family of writers: how often is the family trade discussed at group get-togethers, and in what form does it frequently take (IE complaining about writer’s block or negative feedback, workshopping ideas, praising SNL sketches, et?)
It is almost never discussed at group get-togethers because those are for fun, not work. Work conversations usually happen one-on-one by phone, when necessary. Praise, on the other hand, is free-flowing. We all read each other, when the person wants to be read. It’s a great support system, though sometimes the one thing you want is privacy, and we all respect that, too.

How does it feel to be the 338th person interviewed for Zulkey.com?
It feels terrific! Thank you for having me.

List: Bestelling books of 2012 from the Book Cellar that happened to be written by Zulkey.com interviewees

Tue, 15 Jan 2013 08:14:00 -0600

The Smitten Kitchen Cookbook by Deb Perelman

The Fault In Our Stars by John Green

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

Looking For Alaska by John Green

Visit From the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan

If You Were Here by Jen Lancaster

You are welcome, authors and Book Cellar! I’m happy to be solely responsible for your success.

The Rosie Schaap Interview

Fri, 21 Dec 2012 08:55:00 -0600

After all the Christmas posts this week, I know you expected me to interview a snowperson (why always a man? Or a woman? Snow gender need not be so definitive!) but instead today I’m chatting with someone who will (I hope) not melt away. Cheerful spirits are a key part of the holiday season, so today I’m interviewing the author of the upcoming memoir Drinking With Men, a love letter to the bars, pubs, and taverns. She is also contributor to This American Life and npr.org, and writes the monthly "Drink" column for The New York Times Magazine. You can learn a lot more about her here.

Drinking and writing: do they go together?
For some, perhaps, but not for me. A glass of wine to calm my poor nerves and loosen me up a little is fine, but that’s about all I can manage and still get work done. I tend to keep the writing and the drinking separate. Conveniently, my best writing hours are between 7 a.m. and 3 p.m., so there’s no conflict with my best drinking hours.

What’s your favorite thing to eat while you drink? I’m not talking about wine/food pairings, I mean happy hour snacks.
Pretzels. Macadamia nuts. Charcuterie of many kinds. Gougères, if I’m drinking at the sort of place that has them, which seldom happens. And Cheez Doodles—that very, very distant cousin of gougères —are delicious with beer.

When you travel, do you investigate good drinking establishments ahead of time (and if so, what are your resources) or do you prefer to wing it?
Mostly I wing it, and follow leads from locals and my own instincts. I’d never heard of Else’s, a terrific neighborhood bar, before I visited Montreal in 2006 or so. I just happened upon it when I was walking to a restaurant and fell in bar-love at first sight. In Belfast a few years ago, I got into a conversation with an off-duty constable at a bar across the street from my hotel. When I told her I was a writer, she said, “Oh, well then you have to go to the John Hewitt.” She and her friends walked me over there, and it remains one of my favorite pubs in Belfast—a city with no shortage of great places to drink.

Where would you like to drink in Chicago?
Anywhere lively and local, with a good mix of regulars who like to talk to strangers. Wherever you want to take me. I trust you, Claire.

Babies in bars. Your thoughts.
As long as they’re snugly strapped to a parent—and the sort of parent who will remove them from the bar the second they start crying—I think babies in bars are fine. Once they start getting really squirmy and learning how to walk, all bets are off. A neighborhood friend—an English expat—used to take his daughter to our local soccer bar so he could have a pint or two (no more than that) and watch a match. She was the best bar baby ever, until she started toddling. There are just too many sharp edges, drunk people’s feet, tall barstools, and loud noises in a bar for a mobile baby to be safe and comfortable—and not annoying to grown ups.

I am starting a new job in January and haven’t had time to properly celebrate yet. What would you toast to a new beginning like that with (taking into consideration the time of year).
First, congratulations! Assuming you’ll have a bit of Champagne on New Year’s Eve, I believe the martini—made with gin, not too dry— is the drink for new beginnings (even though I’m usually a brown liquor girl in the winter). Better yet if that martini is accompanied by a pile of oysters.

What’s a drink that everyone else seems to adore (either of the moment or a classic) that you just can’t get into?
The current craze for amari –a family of bitter Italian digestifs—in cocktail-making has gone too far. I like many amari just fine, but when deployed with too heavy a hand or too little thought, they make for drinks that taste suspiciously like cough syrup, but without the expectorating benefits.

Oh, and pickle-backs. Has Chicago been stricken by this scourge yet? [Editor’s note: not that I am aware of, but if I am wrong, please let me know where pickle-backs are happening in the city.] I like whiskey. And I like pickles. I like bars. And I like delicatessens. But pickle juice makes a bar smell like a deli, which just isn’t right.

What’s your advice to women who like to have a drink alone in a bar but who aren’t looking to be picked up on how to be polite to 'friendly' men?
If a woman can claim a barstool in a corner, that’s the first step; that way, she limits access because she can’t be surrounded on both sides. Beyond that: absorbing reading material helps (and an actual book or newspaper is more effective than an iPhone or eReader as a PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM ME signifier). If a “friendly” man is too persistently friendly, I find that saying something like, “Nice meeting you. But I’ve had a long day and need to spend a little quiet time with my book and my drink” usually works fine.

What’s your favorite film version of The Secret Garden? (Mine is the Hallmark movie classics one with Derek Jacobi.)
Nothing can come close to the splendor of the book. But I’ll have to go with Agnieszka Holland’s 1993 adaptation, mostly because I think John Lynch is such a brilliant and underappreciated actor. Still, even he is no match for the Archibald Craven I’ve imagined since I first read the book more than 30 years ago, and no one can ever approach the Dickon of my dreams, who really is the perfect person.

Which soccer teams have the best uniforms?
KNVB—the Dutch National Football Team—obviously. ORANJE! Although the font they used on their kit during EuroCup was weird and sort of space-age. Alas, that was the least of their problems during that tournament. But anyway: ORANJE!

If you could pick just one person to have a drink with right this very second, who would it be and why?
In Drinking With Men, I devote one chapter to the late, much-missed Liquor Store bar in TriBeCa. It was my favorite New York bar, and there, I met the finest drinking companion of all time—a brilliant, funny, soulful artist who was also a great listener and true friend. He is no longer with us either. What I wouldn’t give to be able to meet up with him at Liquor Store for a few more rounds.

How does it feel to be the 335th person interviewed for Zulkey.com/WBEZ?
Seriously? I am #335?! That is huge; a gratifying rebuke to everyone who said I’d never do anything of value.