Here's The Deal With That Glowing Orb — And Plenty Of Notes On What It Isn't
It's pretty safe to say President Trump did a few attention-grabbing things this weekend on the first leg of his first foreign tour in office. He delivered an address to the leaders of Muslim-majority countries, for instance, and took part in a sword dance with Saudi leaders in Riyadh.
And as you might have heard, he also touched a glowing orb.
At the gala inauguration of the Global Center for Combating Extremist Ideology — an institution billed as a cooperative effort to confront extremism "by the latest intellectual, media and numerical methods and means" — Trump joined Saudi King Salman bin Abdul-Aziz Al Saud and Egyptian President Abdel-Fattah el-Sissi in laying their hands on a lit-up globe.
Here's how the Saudi Gazette put it: "Trump and the King each placed their hands on a miniature globe that officially activated the center and launched a splashy welcome video."
Then, they continued to palm the sphere for about a minute and a half as they watched, lights dimmed and orb aglow — while cameras snapped away.
Which, of course, means Twitter noticed, too.
Sisi, Saudi King and Trump put their hands on a glowing orb pic.twitter.com/9aKXl2prjW— Sylvia Westall (@s_westall) May 21, 2017
Ever helpful and earnest, our fair friends on social media quickly stepped in to clarify the situation for befuddled onlookers. That is, they offered a few suggestions about what it's fairly safe to say Trump did not do.
And they offered a lot of them.
For instance, it's pretty safe to say Trump did not break a campaign pledge to resist the all-knowing orb's deceitful and deadly attractions.
Trump During the Campaign: "I will NEVER touch The Orb, even though its mysterious glow seduces and beguiles."— Nick Greene (@NickGreene) May 21, 2017
Trump Today: pic.twitter.com/eWoaDeXj8n
He probably did not make a wish, negotiate with the glowing orb or see his future. Mark our words: He did not even sic a troop of orcs on the heroic, if reluctant and undersized, possessor of the One Ring to Rule Them All.
trump 100% made a wish when he touched the orb pic.twitter.com/S0TlxgxtBY— KRANG T. NELSON (@KrangTNelson) May 21, 2017
A lot of people say the Orb is evil. Stupid! I will negotiate with the Orb, make it work for us. Good deal for everyone!!! Hail the Orb. pic.twitter.com/vmN12iTulB— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) May 21, 2017
When the Magic Orb shows you your future pic.twitter.com/crjLsl84WQ— Rachel Maddox (@cooperlund) May 21, 2017
"find...the...hobbit..." pic.twitter.com/8saqDbl5Nh— darth:™ (@darth) May 21, 2017
Sure, we'll admit the possibility Trump disappointed campaign rival Jeb Bush. But it also appears he did not impress Breitbart, a media outlet that has ties to his administration and quite often has his back at moments such as these.
jeb bush: [sighing] that's not how you touch the orb— kev (@kept_simple) May 21, 2017
And finally, let's be very, very clear on this point: Trump did not take part in a satanic ritual.
For clarification, this is not a Satanic ritual. pic.twitter.com/CccP39fqN4— The Church Of Satan (@ChurchofSatan) May 22, 2017