Dave Matthews (didn’t speak but stood near him at Borders)

Jon Stewart (chatted him up at airport)

David Sedaris (reading)

Dennis Farina (didn’t speak but acknowledged each other at film festival.)

Michael Jordan (autograph line)

Assorted White Sox players (autograph line)

Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York (stood next to her in a magazine shop at O’Hare)

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child (at a charity party)

Elvis Costello (waited after concert)

Michael Penn (met after concert)

Julia Sweeney (met after reading)

Norm McDonald (helped organize standup show he did at my college)

Anderson Cooper (spoke to through earpiece while being interviewed)

Blagojevich (met on Capitol Hill while shooting something for Dateline NBC where I interned one summer).

Geraldo Rivera (Dateline)

Katie Couric (Dateline)

Ira Glass (had a brief exchange about whether the sandwiches at a WBEZ-hosted event were vegetarian)

Peter Sagal (backstage at a reading)

Ivanka Trump (waited on her at a restaurant)

Rande Gerber (chatted him up drunkenly after sneaking into the VIP section at a hotel party)

Michael Ian Black (met after a show)

John Hodgman (after a reading)

Rahm Emanuel (at a campaign thing at a Jewel)

Now you tell me: who have you met, and where?