Here’s the dilemma.
I have been offered a ticket to the Super Bowl. It’s one ticket, and I’d be sitting alone. In nosebleed seats. But I grew up right outside of Boston and, despite my attempts to join Beardom, I am and will always be a Patriots fan. For example, I don’t even know if Beardom is a term Bears fans use.
OK, so what’s the dilemma?
The dilemma is I told my son, age 6, that I’d watch the game with him. He’s excited. As much if not more, by the idea of a “just the guys” experience with Dad than by the actual game.
Listen to Mark on Eight Forty-Eight, where he let listeners decide his Super Bowl fate.
I brought my dilemma up on Facebook, and the replies have astounded and delighted me — and left me more confused than before. What’s astounded me is that there has been no way whatsoever to predict who would say what.
A rabbi told me to go; a comedy writer told me to stay home.
Just when you think you know which of your friends are amoral jackasses and which are the gentle lambs, something like this comes along.
Or maybe there is no right thing to do. Here, because I think they’re worth sharing, are some of the replies — from the thoughtful to the absurd.
“Stay home with the boy. What he remembers about it in ten years will be more important than what you remember.”
“I would say do a swap — figure out something else he wants to do and do that with him instead. Kids are great negotiators. Tip: Explain this to him right after he’s eaten and before he’s tired.”
“Wait, what’s the dilemma exactly? Go!”
“I vote that you stay home but make the boy feel guilty about it forever.”
“Go. Otherwise, when he says he hates you seven years from now, you’ll be kicking yourself in regret…”
“Mark, go to the game, but have a Fathead made of yourself. Stick it to the wall in the room where your son will watch the game, and make sure he understands that you need to watch very quietly. And just pray that the cameras don’t zero in on your seat in Indy.”
“Go. Text him every three minutes. Send him photos. Call him after the big plays. Be everywhere at once. It will be more exciting for him to think his dad is cool enough to be THERE.”
“Go. If he’s 6 he should have learned that life is full of disappointment four years ago.”
“Go. He may be a bit disappointed now, but he’ll be FURIOUS later when he’s older, knowing that his idiot father gave up a chance to see his favorite team play in the Superbowl. Go, but plan something extra special to do with him instead. Go.”
“Let’s be real: Nosebleed seats, alone… The only reason you want to go is to say you went.”
“Son, no question. You can never tell how far back those memories go , but mine started at 4yrs.”
“First, procure an extra large raincoat and two rolls of duct tape. Second, pack bags and kid for Indy. I trust the details do not need spelling out?”
“Stay home with kid. Easy.”
“I think you should go. Think how cool it will be for Saul to tell his friends that his dad is at the Super Bowl. Way better than watching it with you.”
“Go to the Super Bowl. DVR the game. Watch it again with Saul the following weekend and pretend it is live. If he catches wind of the winner in between, just say that they were running a dress rehearsal. They do that in the NFL, right?”
“Mark, Congratulations! I’m very happy for you. Saul and I are looking forward to your stories. Send plenty of pictures before, during, and after the game.”
Include your own here if you have an opinion — just don’t hate me for being a New England fan. And if any of my Facebook friends quoted here didn’t want to be associated with the fine foks in public radio, let me know and I’ll delete!
(ALSO: The next Interview Show is NOT this Friday as usual but is February 17!)