When statesmen gather… .
By Zay N. SmithWhen statesmen gather… .
By Zay N. Smith
News Item: ”… the start of the NATO summit in Chicago… ."
News Item: ”… like multiple rings of a circus… ."
News Item: ”… walking a diplomatic high wire… ."
News Item: ”… NATO juggling act… ."
News Item: ”… amid a carnival atmosphere… ."
News Item: ”… international merry-go-round… ."
News Item: ”… a roller-coaster relationship with… ."
We must be having more fun than we thought.
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News Headline: “Obama may not make the Arizona ballot for the usual stupid Arizona reasons.”
Just the news, please.
Then again, maybe that is the news.
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The Not Me Decade, in Which Everybody Else Is Responsible for Everything, Continues:
A New Jersey man injured when his car veered off the road into a utility pole has sued the utility company because it placed the pole along a curve in the road “where it was foreseeable that a vehicle would veer off the road” if the driver wasn’t careful.
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News Headline: “Bank robbers strike again.”
News Headline: “Downtown bank robbed.”
News Headline: “Fired JPMorgan exec gets $32 million severance pay.”
The stories seemed to go together, for some reason.
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The Case for Zero Tolerance of Modern School Administrators:
Susan Wilke, a Kendall, Wis., reader, wants you to know that Vanguard High School in Ocala, Fla., has named 25 valedictorians.
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News Headline: “Teenagers hold up restaurant as a ‘prank.’ “
You know. Just some hijinks. Shenanigans.
Maybe one of them can grow up to president.
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News Item: The Oregon state board of education bans public schools from using American Indian names and mascots because of the potential for “stereotypical imaging.”
But fair warning to the schools:
Don’t switch to, say, “Knights” or “Vikings,” which glorify militarism and gender discrimination.
And don’t switch to… .
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News Headline: “Red wine can reduce the risk of a heart attack.”
News Headline: “Spaghetti sauce, pizza seen to help fight prostate cancer.”
News Headline: “Peanuts may reduce risk of heart disease.”
News Headline: “White wine is good for the lungs.”
News Headline: “Study shows coffee drinkers live longer.”
Keep up the good work, researchers!
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News Headline: “Is GOP trying to sabotage economy?”
Does anyone really think the GOP would do that just to win an election?
Heavens to Betsy, what a dreadful thing to think.
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News Headline: “Lockerbie bomber Abdel Baset al-Megrahi dies in Libya.”
Any man’s death diminishes us, because we are involved in mankind.
But some diminish us less than others.
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Mike Gallery, a Crystal Lake reader, wants to know when problems became “issues,” and when can we have problems back?
And M.C., a New York City reader, wants to know when TV episodes became “events,” and when can we have episodes back?
And… .
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News Item: ”… maximizing the corporate tax efficiency of… ."
News Item: ”… are key to optimizing corporate tax efficiency… ."
Whenever you see the phrase “corporate tax efficiency” in financial news coverage, replace it with “corporate tax evasion.”
It will give you a better sense of the story.
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News Item: A 73-year-old woman climbs Mount Everest–for the second time.
News Item: Cleanup crews bring 1,300 pounds of litter down from Mount Everest.
Is Mount Everest starting to lose some of its remote and mysterious grandeur?
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News Item: ”… after explorers circumvented the world… ."
News Item: ”… successfully circumvented the world… ."
And aren’t there days when you wish you could?
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Today’s Birthdays: Plato, 2,439; Mr. T, 60.
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QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
K.W., a Chicago reader, writes:
“I send a lot of email in my new job. When addressing somebody, do I write ‘Hi QT,’ or ‘Hi, QT’? Same thing with thank-you’s. Do I write ‘Thanks, QT” or just ‘Thanks QT’?”
The comma is necessary. And you are talking about informal emails.
You would not, for example, write: “Hi, Most Holy Father, Your Holiness.”
Although QT has been tempted to.
Factoids are never factual, by the way.
QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
It can be reached at qt@wbez.org