Who’s back? No. QT’s on second
News Item: ". . . for the sake of bipartisan comity. . . ."
News Item: ". . . fiscal comity in our federal system. . . ."
News Item: ". . . to build international comity. . . ."
Whenever you see the word "comity" in a news story, replace it with "comedy."
You will never go wrong.
News Item: QT column leaves the Chicago Sun-Times.
News Item: QT column arrives at Chicago Public Media--WBEZ.org.
Z.N.S., a Chicago reader, writes:
"It's good to have you back. It's hard to start the day without you."
QT knows what you mean.
And it will work to achieve comity where it can.
News Headline: "Gang leader sentenced to life."
News Headline: "Pimp faces record prison sentence."
News Headline: "Trial of accused mob boss opens."
Mitt Romney is right.
These are tough times for job creators.
News Item: ". . . Texting has facilitated a new breed of romance so poetic in nature that if Shakespeare were alive today he would have been inspired to write. . ."
. . . lord w@ fools deez mortals B
News Item: ". . . Obama backed down from. . . ."
News Item: ". . . Obama straddled the issue by. . . ."
News Item: ". . . Obama stumbled when he. . . ."
. . . when he tried to straddle while backing down, evidently.
The Case for Zero Tolerance of Modern School Administrators:
Field High School in Mogadore, Ohio, has named nine valedictorians.
And Keyser High School in Keyser, W.Va., has named 14 students to its Academic Top Ten.
Kevin Adler, a Barrington reader, writes:
"QT returns to start a blog! But what is a blog? Is it (1) short for 'bologna,' which is what is usually found in a blog or (2) a shortened form of our most recently imprisoned Illinois ex-governor's name?"
It is neither.
A blog is what is found while fishing around in a kitchen sink's drain.
It may be one of the half-dozen ugliest words in the English language.
QT refuses to call itself a blog.
Are there any ideas out there as to what QT should call itself?
Or is this a question QT should not have asked?
News Headline: "Five awesome iPad apps."
Add awe to the list of things that aren't what they used to be.
News Headline: "Newt: 'I've fallen short of the glory of God.' "
But understatement is alive and well.
News Item: " . . . the NCAA's efforts to maintain parity. . . ."
News Item: ". . . achieving near parity in primary education. . . ."
And then there are "parity" and "parody."
Gene Christianson, an Overland Park, Kan., reader, having read in the newspaper that 13 percent of Americans are under treatment for mental disorders, wants to know:
"Does that mean 87 percent of us are walking around untreated?"
National Young Readers Day is Nov. 13, which leaves you 190 days to try to find one.
News Headline: "Dems push reproductive rights bill."
And will see it blocked endlessly as long as it called a reproductive rights bill.
Here is a tip:
Call it the Reproduction Deregulation and Privatization Act of 2012.
The Republicans will vote yes out of habit.
QT Summer Travel Advisory:
Tickets are still available for the 651st annual Turkish Oil Wrestling Championships.
The matches start June 30 in Edirne.
Edirne is five miles west of Unrulu.
News Headline: "Man exposes himself at Association for the Blind."
There is probably an interesting story behind that.
From the QT Archive of Knowledge:
+ George Washington owned dogs named Tipsy and Drunkard.
+ Four out of ten murders are perfect crimes.
Today's Birthdays: Johannes Brahms, 179; Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky, 172; "Chattanooga Choo Choo," 71.
QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
Catherine Jones, a Halifax, Nova Scotia, reader, writes:
"Have you ever noticed news reports that refer to a 'robbery gone bad'? Is this quite right? Gone badly? And when has a robbery gone good?"
Think of it this way.
The robberies on Wall Street are still going fantastic.
And it isn't "all that glistens is not gold," by the way, but "all that glisters is not gold."
As long as we are on the subject of misquoted Shakespeare.
Which we are now.
And can it be time for QT's quadrennial reminder that it isn't ''once more into the breach'' but ''once more unto the breach''?
QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
It can be reached at email@example.com