Katie Rich is a repeat Machete performer. When she’s not at the Horseshoe, she’s performing with The Second City. We’ve asked her to play 5 Machete questions before her appearance this Saturday.

The oppressive, Big Brother-esque nature of NBC’s promotion of the new sit-com, Whitney.

2. If you could do anything else on this Saturday afternoon besides perform against your will in the Paper Machete, it would be…

Sleep. And hug a big, fluffy dog.

3. In your entire schooling, what was the subject you in which you performed most poorly? Have you been required to demonstrate knowledge of that subject since?

Gym. I actually failed it. And I have never once been asked to do a flexed arm hang since then.

4. a) Name your favorite Palin or Smurf, and give at least one sentence of explanation. b) Name your least favorite Palin or Smurf, and give at least one sentence of explanation.

My favorite Palin is 1987 Sarah because she reminds me of me when I was 24 - She sleeps with black dudes and does coke. My least favorite Palin is Willow. Which one is Willow? Exactly.

5. As a member of the Chicago performance-art community, what lucrative career do you now wish you’d chosen to pursue instead?

Guerilla Therapist.

The Paper Machete is a weekly live magazine at the Horseshoe in North Center. It’s always at 3 pm, it’s always on Saturday, and it’s always free. Listen to the most recent The Paper Machete Radio Magazine here, or download it from iTunes here.