Friday night, millions of people who call planet Earth their home will gather around their televisions to watch the London Olympics Opening Ceremony. Already, my carefully-curated Olympic Twitter feed is blowing up with those espousing their enthusiasm for this blessed event.

This is especially due to the hype that continues to reverberate after Beijing, which the NBC Olympics site calls “awe-inspiring” and “cinematic” and reportedly cost over $100 million U.S. dollars to produce. Some are even implying that there’s not much that Britain can even do to to try to top 2008’s spectacle.

Well, I’d argue that there’s not much anyone should do to try to top anyone. And this isn’t coming from some sort of pathetic Olympics Debbie Downer place deep within my cold, cold heart; in fact, I’d argue that I’m a purist. I won’t even go into the convoluted plan I’ve been working on the past few weeks involving purchasing a projector and streaming NBC coverage over the internet into my living room, which just gives a mere glimpse at my devotion to the actual games.

Yes, there should most definitely be some sort of opening ceremony. But perhaps I’m not the only one who finds celebrations like one in Beijing just a little hackneyed. I don’t need Cirque du Soleil to properly excite me about this three week festival of human perfection.

In fact, that stuff almost pales in comparison to the real excitement I feel about the events that our forefathers so graciously passed down to us. That’s not to say I don’t like any of the hubbub around it; I love the torch carrying that’s been happening over the past weeks. Not only is it amazing to see the ladies from Ab Fab carry a torch, it’s also such a reminder of the real history behind the games, not the looming possibility that this lavish spectacle will probably not bring the host city money in tourist revenue.

I’ll save you all and not write another one of these depressing posts when it comes to the closing ceremonies (though the Spice Girls are performing, so don’t hate me if I break my word).

But just one last argument: Ryan Lochte won’t be walking tonight because he has to rest up for his actual athleticism. One more reason not to watch.