Letter to Obama
Dear Barack Obama,
My name is Dennis O'Toole and I live in Chicago, What is your favorite Chicago hotdog stand? Mine was Reds on 111th, but it got shut down due to eminent domain. Now my favorite is Murphy's on Belmont. I like hotdogs with mustard and onions. I drew you this picture of me and you having hotdogs.
You are the U.S. president now. Are you going to put a swing-set in the Rose Garden for Sasha and Malia? That would be fun and they would like it. Stop smoking.
I have been watching your first two weeks in office. I am glad that you are closing the Guantanamo Bay Detention Center. I am also glad that you signed an order to increase automobile fuel efficiency standards by 2011. I think that you are a good president so far.
It looked like you and your wife Michelle had so much fun at the Inaugural Ball. You wore a black tuxedo with a white bow tie. Those are the White Sox's colors. I am a White Sox fan too. I drew you a picture of me and you eating hotdogs at U.S. Cellular field watching the White Sox destroy the Cubs in the World Series. You have a cigarette in the picture and I am chastising you. Ozzie Guillen is in the background saying the F word to a doggie.
This recession is scary! Recently, the economist Nouriel Roubini said that the losses from the credit crisis could reach $3.6 trillion dollars, and then added, “If that's true, it means the U.S. banking system is effectively insolvent because it starts with a capital of $1.4 trillion.”
Mr. President, what the hell does this mean? Whatever is going on does not sound good.
I hope you have a fun time being president. You will meet lots of famous people, like Beyonce and French president Nicholas Sarkozy. I drew you a picture of you and Nicholas Sarkozy eating hotdogs while Beyonce yells at you guys for smoking. In the background Ozzie Guillen is swearing F words at Timothy Geithner for forgetting to pay 34 grand in taxes.
Dennis O'Toole, 34, Chicago
Music Button: Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet, "Peas Porridge Rock", from the CD Sport Fishin', (Cargo records)