Today is a great day to play newscast editor. What story would you lead with today?

American Airlines is entering bankruptcy. They are the last major airline to do so. This is a good #1, because passengers are uneasy about their miles. They say this news won’t affect customers, but they are an airline and they do say stuff that isn’t always accurate. But this is a news story that seems to be pretty normal. And it only affects a percentage of airline customers.

There was another private plane crash in a suburban area. This is always news because people a) die and b) everyone is afraid they will die when they fly. Not to be disrespectful, but the deaths are minimal- though tragic to specific friends and family.

School closings! Well, they aren’t closing the schools, they are turning around the schools. 10 schools are going to switch staffs. This is a big deal because it is your government at work to create better education opportunities. But again, if you don’t live in that area and/or don’t have kids, this really doesn’t apply.

The weather is very windy today. Reports of Lake Michigan large waves and ocean-like conditions are abound on Twitter. And it’s super windy and cold. Welcome to winter, Chicago. This is a perfect morning to throw a wind-breaker on a reporter and let them go live. It could go viral.

And, of course, Facebook might be going public in 2012.

So which would you pick? And seriously, this is today’s news?

B story: Maggie Daley was laid to rest yesterday. George Lucas was at the funeral. I don’t have much to say about the sad passing of the former first lady of Chicago. The only thing I can contribute is talk of her legacy. After casually polling my friends and family, nobody could really name another first lady with as much name recognition and impact as Maggie Daley. Sure there was Eleanor “Sis” Daley (Richard J. Daley’s wife), but she was sort of out of the spotlight. And quick, besides Patti Blagojevich, can you name another state-wide office holder’s significant other? So you tell me: Maggie Daley - the most prominent first lady in Illinois’ history?

C story: Vocalo is syndicating their Brian & Molly show (The Morning AMp) to two local college stations. It’s hyper-local syndication. So no more local college radio morning show, which usually consisted of hip-hop/folk/ukelele shifts by the one student who volunteered to wake up early. That student may be pissed at first, but they will be happy when they realize they don’t have to get up for class until 9:30am. Brian Babylon and Molly Adams will wake up for you. That’s a slogan if I ever heard one!

D story: Caleb Hanie is joining the FBI today to talk about cell phone safety for your child. You’ve made it Caleb. You’ve made it.

Weather: Windy, cold, raw. I’ve seen the weather called “raw” in a few spots this morning. Raw is the new cold, rainy, windy?

Sports: Let’s take a break from the Bears for a quick moment to talk Bulls. I’m excited about this season already. When free agent signings begin on December 9th, may I make a humble suggestion? Skip T-Mac and V-Carter and go for Rip Hamilton. That guy would be awesome to have on your squad. And I think he is still wearing the plastic mask. He broke his nose a few years ago and now just likes the way it feels. That’s the kind of guy I like on my team. Think of all the merch the Bulls could sell. Those plastic face masks could make up for lost revenue from the lock out. Speaking of lock out, did I read that the players gave up $300 million (a year) and now owners can invalidate guaranteed contracts like the NFL? Tell me again how the players came out on top? Oh yeah, they get to play basketball for a living. Hooray!

Kicker: All right, It’s never too late to promote a show. I’m hosting a show at Lincoln Hall on 12/11/11. It’s a comedy show that will feature some of Chicago’s best and brightest comics MST3K’ing a Bears game. So turning the sound down, making fun of football. Cool idea, right? So it will be like this blog, but live alongside nachos. And instead of just my pithy comments, I’ve assembled some of the best snark in the city.

It is sort of like High School USA, but for local comics making fun of football. You remember High School USA, right?