Christmas is the most romantic holiday.

Forget Valentine’s Day, with its overpriced pre-fixe meals and tacky Walgreens stuffed animals and general made-up-ness. Christmas is the most romantic holiday, as it encourages dim, flattering lighting, cozying up by the fire and having a nice cocktail. To me the part that always stood out in “A Christmas Story” wasn’t “You’ll poke your eye out” but Ralphie’s parents enjoying a quiet moment together after all the present-opening was through. So, if you don’t have someone, or your someone is far away, or you know people who fall into one of the first two categories, Christmas can be lonely.

Christmas makes you contemplate the fleetingness of life.

Christmas is enjoyable for everyone (and when I say “Christmas” I mean in the secular way, the way you don’t have to be Christian to like twinkly lights and a present), but it’s primarily a holiday for kids. Even though it’s great to be an adult and give/receive fancy presents and sip some booze and appreciate the good food, it’s just not the same as being so excited and little. This inevitably means you think of how we’re all just marching towards the grave. Once that thought enters your mind, you can never quite get it out. Ho ho ho.

Christmas makes you realize that we are not that giving the the rest of the year.

All that holiday giving makes you feel good until you realize there are needy people who probably aren’t doing so great at all the times of year when the bell-ringers and those “Please give!” envelopes aren’t reminding you to be a good person.

Christmas is just the harbinger of a long, awful winter to come.

Christmas should really occur in late January or February so that the holidays are spaced out more. Instead, just a week after Christmas comes New Year’s and then after that it’s about four more months until it’s worth it to go outside again.  And also, your credit card bill will be due soon. And you will have to lose the weight you put on from all those parties but the gym will be full of New Years Resolutioners so why even bother. Bah.