What a night of bright lights, loud noises and errant car alarms. And no, I’m not talking about Charlie Sheen. 

Top story: The pro-life billboards at 58th & State were vandalized yesterday. Maybe not vandalized in a “I scribbled my initials all over your “King of Queens” billboard with my purple spraypaint” but rather with a sheet with a clever spin on the words. Achy Obejas has the story today. And she snapped this photo:

No, this wasn’t done by bored teenagers basking in the 77 degree weather last night. Instead, it was done by pro-choice protesters. What??? If I were a bored teen, I would protest.  After all, vandalizing billboards is your turf. Don’t let these protestors take away your God-given rights!

B story: I’m glad to hear our mayor is back in town from his trip to China. While Daley was gallavanting around China, Mayor-elect Emanuel was acting like he owned the place. It was like the house-sitter became more popular than the house-owners. But Daley is back to business today (for another month, at least) - and I, for one, am very excited about what he may try to do in his last month. A slew of honorary “P Diddy Day”-type proclamations? Or will he get serious and erect a couple statues for Grant Park?

By the way, did everyone see Rahm at Wrigley on Opening Day? I don’t care what the North Side says, it just doesn’t feel right to have a mayor at Wrigley.

C story: In a story last week about the study released slamming contracts for city truck drivers (they drive, they sit, they read, they sleep), the city responded to the study and the media backlash by saying this is a union issue and that the city is locked in a long term contract for truck drivers. They threw in this nugget too: the reason we’re locked into long-term contracts is because the city chose to negotiate new contracts with the unions right before the 2016 Olympic bid.  The purpose was to avoid labor strife when building out our infrastructure for the games. Wow, the gift that keeps on giving. Guess when the sweet contract expires? 2017.

D story: Apparently, Charlie Sheen righted the ship last night at the Chicago Theater, after a disastrous opening in Detroit a night earlier. Although, Mancow and Richard Roeper used Twitter to deliver a contrarian point of view. But it was nice to have Sheen come through town and not make a huge scene. He ended up at Enclave afterwards for a special VIP appearance. According to the Trib, he sat in the VIP section with bodyguards, drank champagne with friends and then split after an hour. Raise your hand if you thought it was going to go differently. Better yet, raise your hand if you want a refund for the asinine $30 (some $60) cover just to be in the same room with him. That’s winning.

Weather: Crazy thunderstorm last night! I’m sure there are cool pics. Google it.

Sports: Derrick Rose put on yet another show on Saturday night in the Bulls’ victory over Toronto. The Bulls are now 2 1/2 games up for the #1 seed in the Eastern Conference. Yes, that means they will finish with a better regular season record than the Miami Heat.  Who saw that coming? The league is abuzz with Derrick Rose Fever. If decided today, Rose would be the league’s MVP. Not so fast, says the New York Times. Whahaaa? The New York Times doesn’t like a guy from Chicago? They throw out a different scenario, saying Rose shouldn’t be the MVP based on his defense. Ouch.

Kicker: We don’t need antics and showboating from an outsider like Sheen. We have our own awesome entertainers in town. I would pay $100+ to be in the same room at Ozzie Guillen. Frank Sennett pointed this out last night: did you see the t-shirt Ozzie wore in his post-game interview with Comcast sports?