A few years ago I collected the nicknames people bestowed upon their unborn children, because I found the inexplicable names people had for the little blobs inside them weird and funny. Well, now my husband and I are those people, except that we can’t decide on a name for the spawn within. Here are the three names we’ve called our unborn baby so far:

Little Andre
The first thing my mom did when we told her she was going to be a grandma was to suggest that, if the baby is a boy, we name it either Andre or Ambrose, two of her favorite names. “His nickname could be ‘Bro’—how cool is that!” my mom said. Well, we’re not naming the baby Ambrose or Andre, but I liked the idea of a little fetus wearing a tiny beret and smoking a wee cigarette so for a while we began calling it “Little Andre.”

Little Jojo
Like the rest of the Internet, my husband and I fell in love with baby sloth videos a few months ago. Someone sent me this video of a baby sloth named Little Jojo taking a poo (it’s adorable, believe it or not.) “I hope my baby is a baby sloth,” I said, and somehow Little Andre turned into Little Jojo.

Bear Waitress
We have a chalkboard in our kitchen with our potential baby names written on it. This weekend we were on vacation and I showed my friend Liz a photo of the chalkboard as it stands now. “Bear…waitress?” Liz asked, squinting at my cracked phone screen. So now when my husband says goodnight to my belly he says “Good night Little Andre/Little Jojo/Bear Waitress.”

We are ahead of the game when it comes to screwing up this kid.