When statesmen gather. . . .
News Item: ". . . the start of the NATO summit in Chicago. . . ."
News Item: ". . . like multiple rings of a circus. . . ."
News Item: ". . . walking a diplomatic high wire. . . ."
News Item: ". . . NATO juggling act. . . ."
News Item: ". . . amid a carnival atmosphere. . . ."
News Item: ". . . international merry-go-round. . . ."
News Item: ". . . a roller-coaster relationship with. . . ."
We must be having more fun than we thought.
News Headline: "Obama may not make the Arizona ballot for the usual stupid Arizona reasons."
Just the news, please.
Then again, maybe that is the news.
The Not Me Decade, in Which Everybody Else Is Responsible for Everything, Continues:
A New Jersey man injured when his car veered off the road into a utility pole has sued the utility company because it placed the pole along a curve in the road "where it was foreseeable that a vehicle would veer off the road" if the driver wasn't careful.
News Headline: "Bank robbers strike again."
News Headline: "Downtown bank robbed."
News Headline: "Fired JPMorgan exec gets $32 million severance pay."
The stories seemed to go together, for some reason.
The Case for Zero Tolerance of Modern School Administrators:
Susan Wilke, a Kendall, Wis., reader, wants you to know that Vanguard High School in Ocala, Fla., has named 25 valedictorians.
News Headline: "Teenagers hold up restaurant as a 'prank.' "
You know. Just some hijinks. Shenanigans.
Maybe one of them can grow up to president.
News Item: The Oregon state board of education bans public schools from using American Indian names and mascots because of the potential for "stereotypical imaging."
But fair warning to the schools:
Don't switch to, say, "Knights" or "Vikings," which glorify militarism and gender discrimination.
And don't switch to. . . .
News Headline: "Red wine can reduce the risk of a heart attack."
News Headline: "Spaghetti sauce, pizza seen to help fight prostate cancer."
News Headline: "Peanuts may reduce risk of heart disease."
News Headline: "White wine is good for the lungs."
News Headline: "Study shows coffee drinkers live longer."
Keep up the good work, researchers!
News Headline: "Is GOP trying to sabotage economy?"
Does anyone really think the GOP would do that just to win an election?
Heavens to Betsy, what a dreadful thing to think.
News Headline: "Lockerbie bomber Abdel Baset al-Megrahi dies in Libya."
Any man's death diminishes us, because we are involved in mankind.
But some diminish us less than others.
Mike Gallery, a Crystal Lake reader, wants to know when problems became "issues," and when can we have problems back?
And M.C., a New York City reader, wants to know when TV episodes became "events," and when can we have episodes back?
And. . . .
News Item: ". . . maximizing the corporate tax efficiency of. . . ."
News Item: ". . . are key to optimizing corporate tax efficiency. . . ."
Whenever you see the phrase "corporate tax efficiency" in financial news coverage, replace it with "corporate tax evasion."
It will give you a better sense of the story.
News Item: A 73-year-old woman climbs Mount Everest–for the second time.
News Item: Cleanup crews bring 1,300 pounds of litter down from Mount Everest.
Is Mount Everest starting to lose some of its remote and mysterious grandeur?
News Item: ". . . after explorers circumvented the world. . . ."
News Item: ". . . successfully circumvented the world. . . ."
And aren't there days when you wish you could?
Today's Birthdays: Plato, 2,439; Mr. T, 60.
QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
K.W., a Chicago reader, writes:
"I send a lot of email in my new job. When addressing somebody, do I write 'Hi QT,' or 'Hi, QT'? Same thing with thank-you's. Do I write 'Thanks, QT" or just 'Thanks QT'?"
The comma is necessary. And you are talking about informal emails.
You would not, for example, write: "Hi, Most Holy Father, Your Holiness."
Although QT has been tempted to.
Factoids are never factual, by the way.
QT appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
It can be reached at email@example.com