Val Halen’s first new album in over 15 years with frontman David Lee Roth, A Different Kind of Truth, came out this week, and is already looking at winning that coveted Billboard number one spot. Son of Eddie Van Halen, Wolfgang Von Halen (played by comedian Connor O’Malley) gives us a preview of the new record, and answers that age-old question: how did the son of a legend join a legendary band? Read an excerpt or listen below. 

Hello. I am Wolfgang Van Halen. The record company told me to come down here and try to promote the album, which comes out next week. What’s up middle-class idiots! It’s me, Wolfgang Van Halen. I can tell some of you Sufjan Stevening’s listening poor people don’t know who I am. I’m the first-born son of American-born music god Eddie Van Halen. He’s my daddy.

I’m Van Halen’s newest bassist. I bet you’re all wondering, “How did someone so young rise to the top of such an amazing American rock band?” Well I remember how it happened. I had just gotten off my ATV after hunting giraffes on the Van Halen compound in central Florida, when I heard my daddy screaming on the phone. He was saying, “What do you mean ROYALTIES?! I am royalty, you piece of sh**! You’re out of the band!” Then he threw the cordless phone across the room, hitting our free-roaming hyena in our house.

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