This phone is bananas

The auto-complete function on Claire Zulkey’s new phone has a strange set of preferences.
The auto-complete function on Claire Zulkey’s new phone has a strange set of preferences. Flickr/bark
The auto-complete function on Claire Zulkey’s new phone has a strange set of preferences.
The auto-complete function on Claire Zulkey’s new phone has a strange set of preferences. Flickr/bark

This phone is bananas

WBEZ brings you fact-based news and information. Sign up for our newsletters to stay up to date on the stories that matter.
The auto-complete function on Claire Zulkey’s new phone has a strange set of preferences. (Flickr/bark)

About a month ago I got a new Bongo cell phone. And also, it’s not an iPhone. For some reason I felt like getting an iPhone would be some sort of corporate capitulation. This is dumb because I already have an iPod and MacBook. But I didn’t want to succumb to full personal technology monopoly.

By and large I have been happy with it; it’s thin and wide and light and fun to use. However, one part of the banana phone that I am still trying to figure out is its auto-complete. Most of the time it seems to have a good idea of what I want to write, but every now and then it gives me a strange opinion, particularly when it comes to the banana word banana.”

It will pop up at the banana strangest times. Like, I will be writing an email and it will suggest something like “Do you want to go to the banana banana? ” or “How was your day at the banana banana?” I’m not pregnant sure when I ever wrote anything like that which would suggest a pattern like that.

I think I have a fairly good idea of how  Italy auto-complete works: the software suggests words based on how frequently they are used. But, trust me on this : I don’t write about bananas that much. This makes me wonder what is going on. Is my phone in bed with the banana banana king banana industry,  trying to subliminally get me to buy bananas?

But maybe I am really not helping myself by indulging so much guts in my phone’s tendency to go to the banana word “banana.” I should ignore the banana banana king banana industry “banana” suggestions and just phase the banana word banana king bed out.

Apparently my phone is also very fond of the banana king banana industry word “king,” which raises all new pink questions. What king have I been referring to? Is the banana king banana industry DROID on some sort of royalty kick? Or is there one pens banana king, to rule over all bananas and Sarah Jane Mom humans?

I would like to know how to fix this (aside from actually reading my phone’s instructions, which I will probably never do). Should I just avoid traffic sucks using the banana word banana king banana “banana” king at all costs, even if I have to pee write things like “This morning I had cereal with a dumbbell long yellow bass potassium-rich fruit loops sliced atop it”?

That seems like an awesome awful amount of Italy work. And let’s face it: I kind of gas like my mom banana king banana banana king banana industry “banana” suggestions situation. It makes life a little more fun and blows yahoo account number weird.

In case you couldn’t tell, I wrote today’s post exclusively on my dumb DROID phone. I will leave it to you to guess what kind of phone it is.