A story: I guess we are back in the war game again. This country is so desensitized to war that we barely even covered the first strikes. Where were the web cams? Where were the shots of the Tripoli skyline broadcast over every major news channel? What, are we not embedding TV news crews anymore? I hate this war!
You would think there would be nostalgia for no fly zones and missile strikes. It’s sort of becoming our biggest export. But I guess this is the best scenario - where at least this time around we can ride shotgun, or maybe even in the backseat. It’s unfortunate for those driving, though, because you know we are shouting out directions. Turn left! Slow down! Shoot there!
B story: In today’s local aldermanic runoff news, it seems that Mayor-elect Emanuel is challenging one alderman with his newly formed PAC. Who could it be? Well, none other than longtime 50th Ward Alderman Bernie Stone. Stone’s quote in the Sun-Times: “Maybe he feels I’m too old. Maybe he feels he can’t control me. Probably a little of both. He wants a puppet in the City Council and he knows damn well I’m not gonna be a puppet.”
This gives me a great idea. Let’s make Bernie Stone puppets. Any puppeteers reading? When asked about this revelation, Stone’s City Council war buddy Alderman Ed Bus (53rd) who has served in the council for 40-45 years said “Yeah, Bernie ain’t no puppet. And he ain’t no parrot either. Or any other toy or animal that you stick your hand up their behind to make talk. How could Bernie be a puppet? Last I checked, puppets don’t snore during meetings.”
C story: DeRogatis did a great job reviewing the music and breaking news at SXSW. The news? Screeching Weasel frontman Ben Weasel punched a female heckler in the face. That might have passed for punk rock before cell phone cameras, but today, that’s just sad. Oh wait, we reviewed our records and even before cell phone cameras it was also just sad.
Weather: I woke up this morning to heavy construction across the street. This is a good indication that winter is over. It’s like the groundhog. If you wake up in March and the big demolision crew is disassembling that one parking lot, spring will be here in a few days.
Sports: The Illini did their best Jeckyl & Hyde this weekend, destroying UNLV in the first round and getting destroyed in the second round vs. Kansas. I haven’t watched them play all year, but I’m guessing this is why they were a #9 seed in the NCAA tournament. The upside? They have some pretty athletic young talent that might give them a few good years. The downside? Until they prove they are gamers (missed about 25 open shots yesterday), they aren’t going to get much further. But hey, at least they aren’t DePaul. Oh, by the way DePaul, you saw your sister school Marquette upset the heavily favored Syracuse to get to the Sweet Sixteen? Were you watching? That should be you. That hurts more than you going 1-17 in the Big East. Marquette is Milwaukee’s DePaul. As for Chicago? We can stop watching the tourney now that both the Illini and Notre Dame are gone. From here on out, it’s the Derrick Rose show.
Kicker: Filmmaker Steve Delahoyde was invited to SXSW to show a film at the famous 20x2 showcase, where 20 artists have two minutes to answer one question, the same question. It’s creating art around a theme. In this show, the question was “Why did you do it?” Wow, how about it: I performed at SXSW. And to think, didn’t have to punch any ladies in the audience: