News Item: “A leaping dog inadvertently shot his master in the hand by catching the trigger of his shotgun during a hunt in the Dordogne, southwestern France… ."
How well do you know your dog?
How well, really?
News Item: Senate Republican leaders, as part of election-year obstructions, block a bipartisan jobs bill for military veterans.
So why do the Republicans hate our troops and America?
John Pellegrini, a Grand Rapids, Mich., reader, regarding Mitt Romney’s asking for help in naming his campaign plane, writes:
“Considering current events, how about ‘Das Hindenburg’?”
No. The Hindenburg had a rudder.
News Headline: “Burma learned about democracy by watching ‘The West Wing,’ says Hillary Clinton.”
We Americans, on the other hand, seem to be watching Arrested Development and Lie to Me.
It is a little-known fact, by the way, that President Josiah Bartlet was a Muslim.
Did he ever prove he wasn’t?
News Item: “A fuzzy splotch hidden behind nearby star clusters might just be the most distant galaxy ever glimpsed by human eyes… ."
Keeping in mind that seen from that galaxy, we amount to a fuzzy splotch.
News Headline: “Obama administration to push for eliminating smoking from college campuses.”
News Headline: “Why isn’t the Obama administration prosecuting Wall Street criminals?”
Maybe they don’t smoke.
News Headline: “Iran cleric claims beating by woman after warning her to cover up.”
QT doesn’t favor people beating on other people.
So why did it smile when it read this story?
And why is it still smiling?
Ann Romney defending her husband’s recent comments about 47 percent of Americans:
“Mitt doesn’t disdain the poor.”
And Mr. Mitt is pleasant to the help, as well.
News Item: ”… Some physicists argue that there is no such thing as time… ."
Now they tell us.
Hernando Guanlao on why he turned his house in Manila, Philippines, into a public library:
“The books are telling me they want to be read… ."
And are increasingly drowned out by the videos and the slideshows and… .
News Item: “An Edina woman is accused of making her 11-year-old nephew ride in the trunk of her Lexus so he wouldn’t get her car’s leather seats wet.”
Republican Household Tips You Can Use:
When your children are wet, don’t put them in the car trunk.
Put then on the car roof.
They will dry faster.
W.F., a Lafayette, La., reader, regarding QT’s suggestion that the upcoming documentary based on Roger Ebert’s memoir be named Scoop Dreams, writes:
The Thumb of All Fears.
Kevin Adler, a Barrington reader, writes:
“Careful with That Axe, Eugene.”
Stop it now.
News Headline: “56 boxes of cremated human remains found in former funeral director’s home.”
Almost didn’t share this story.
The thought of cremation turns QT ashen.
Modern Education + the Criminal Mind =
A man was arrested for stealing rare antique coins in Longview, Wash., after he started spending the coins at face value for movies and pizza.
News Headline: “Romney denounces ‘selectively edited’ fundraiser video, promotes selectively edited Obama video.”
Forty-six days to go… .
From the QT Archive of Knowledge:
+ There is a Road Street in Bloomfield Hills, Mich.
+ There is a Street Road in Wallingford, Pa.
QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
News Item: “A former WWE wrestling diva is headed for rehab… ."
A diva is a leading female singer in an opera company.
Who sometimes wrestles, evidently.
The plural of “diva” is “dive,” by the way.
Write to QT at email@example.com
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