News Headline: “Obama leads Romney among NASCAR fans: Poll.”
As the two candidates continue to go around and around and around and around and around… .
We Have Seen the Present, and It Does Not Work:
A Maryland police department, faced with repeated vandalism of surveillance cameras it installed to watch the streets, has installed surveillance cameras to watch the surveillance cameras it installed to watch the streets.
News Headline: “Chicago Symphony reaches agreement to end strike.”
The musicians held fermata critical time.
This is the only way a union con forza settlement.
And A.S., a Chicago reader, wants to know the new bass salary.
News Headline: “Romney wonders why airplane windows don’t open.”
News Headline: “Mitt Romney was joking about airplane windows.”
It was a joke.
So cut him some slack.
News Headline: “Mitt Romney defends secret corporate contributions.”
News Headline: “Romney says teachers unions should be barred from making political contributions.”
There he goes again, that jokester.
News Headline: “Romney claims no tax advantage in Caymans.”
He’s got a million of ‘em.
News Headline: “Romney says he sympathizes with needy Americans.”
Stop it, Governor! You’re killing us!
News Headline: “Workers revolt at Chinese iPhone factory.”
News Headline: “Riot closes iPhone factory.”
If you are having a bad day, at least you aren’t the ad exec in charge of marketing Apple as an enlightened maker of cool, hip products.
News Headline: “SAT reading scores are the lowest in 40 years.”
QT Abridged Too Far Dictionary of the English Language:
postliterate adj. 1. of or relating to a (hypothetical) time or stage in society when literacy is no longer necessary or valued. 2. or maybe not so hypothetical, after all. 3. when was the last time you saw a book store opening? [see: videos, children stupefied by endlessly watching].
News Item: ”… on an ill-advised fishing expedition… was barking up the wrong tree… ."
Always ill-advised to look for fish in a tree.
And who brought along the dog?
News Headline: “Eunuch study suggests that castration may add 20 years to a man’s life.”
Say what you will about the Intelligent Designer.
He has a wry sense of humor.
News Headline: “Madonna endorses Obama, says she’ll strip naked if he wins.”
News Headline: “Rush Limbaugh endorses Romney.”
Warning: Do not attempt to visualize Rush Limba—
QT Vote Count Countdown Update:
News Headline: “Is Team Obama getting overconfident?”
News Headline: “Will ignoring the troops in convention speech hurt Romney?”
News Headline: “Could GOP lose the House?”
News Headline: “Is Obama flunking foreign policy?”
News Headline: “Does Mitt Romney believe in creationsism?”
News Headline: “Is Mitt Romney a neocon?”
News Headline: “Would Ryan plan end Medicare?”
No, no, yes, no, occasionally, occasionally, yes.
QT is at work on its next countdown update.
If anyone wants to help, it needs questions for yes, yes, no, yes, no, no, yes.
Jack Finarelli, a Falls Church, Va., reader, wants you to know that 20 days remain until National Dictionary Day.
You could look it up.
News Item: Conference on major mosque addition in Saudi Arabia attended by King Abdullah bin Abdulaziz Al Saud, Crown Prince Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud, Prince Faisal bin Mohammed bin Saud Al-Kabeer, Prince Ahmed bin Abdulaziz, Prince Muqrin bin Abdulaziz, Prince Turki bin Nasser bin Abdulaziz, Prince Khalid bin Sultan bin Abdulaziz,, Prince Faisal bin Abdullah bin Mohammed, Prince Miteb bin Abdullah bin Abdulaziz, Prince Sultan bin Salman bin Abdulaziz, Prince Abdulaziz bin Majed bin Abdulaziz, Prince Mansour bin Nasser bin Abdulaziz and Prince Bandar bin Salman bin Mohammed.
We can hope there were no roll-call votes.
From the QT Archive of Knowledge:
+ U.S. oil production is up 20 percent since 2009
+ U.S. oil imports are down 30 percent since 2009.
+ Lightning struck Earth 30 times while you were reading this item.
Today’s Birthdays: T.S. Eliot, 124; “Gilligan’s Island,” 48.
There was bound to be a certain drop-off.
QT Grammar R Us Seminar of the English Language:
News Item: ”… she brings a breath and depth of experience… ."
News Item: ”… a true show of the breath of his work… ."
QT recommends Listerine for anyone concerned with the breath of his work.
Fifty-six percent of Texans mispronounce “amphitheater,” by the way.
Write to QT at firstname.lastname@example.org
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